Men Does This Offend You?? (When to say you have an SO)?
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
So two ladies were talking about my other post. One of them, trim really good looking, long hair was friendly to 3 guys who came up during the course of our hanging out (I thought guys didn't approach women in groups of 3+???). Me and the other girl told her, "you know they're flirting with you, right?" and she told us she never thinks men are flirting with her. She's just nice and friendly to everyone.
Me and the other girl both agree with being nice and friendly, but at the same time when he starts laying on the compliments and giving that goofy grin, we both find a way to mention our men (for example: thanks, my boyfriend/husband thinks so too)
The really cute girl said that was rude, and by doing this we were automatically assuming the guy was hitting on us (how is this rude??) and he could just be trying to make new friends.
What do you think? Are we rude, or we saving the guy wasted time?
Men! Do you appreciate it when women let you know they are taken, or do you get offended when a woman implies you were hitting on her?
Me and the other girl both agree with being nice and friendly, but at the same time when he starts laying on the compliments and giving that goofy grin, we both find a way to mention our men (for example: thanks, my boyfriend/husband thinks so too)
The really cute girl said that was rude, and by doing this we were automatically assuming the guy was hitting on us (how is this rude??) and he could just be trying to make new friends.
What do you think? Are we rude, or we saving the guy wasted time?
Men! Do you appreciate it when women let you know they are taken, or do you get offended when a woman implies you were hitting on her?
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Replies
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No you did it right.
If he was being friendly he wouldn't care if you were taken.
If he was being flirty you just saved him some time and effort.
Kudos to you guys, that was the correct answer.0 -
For sure. I know when I'm flirty it's awesome when a guy mentions an SO in passing. Saves me time and energy.0
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I agree. I've heard that knowledge is power.0
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For sure. I know when I'm flirty it's awesome when a guy mentions an SO in passing. Saves me time and energy.
I agree.
I don't think you should act like every man that talks to you is hitting on you, but you should find a way to bring up your SO into the conversation. Not the first thing you say, but don't wait until he says, "So wanna go on a date?" A good way to bring it up is something like, "oh, you like NASCAR? So does my boyfriend. He went to a race last year."0 -
When I'm flirting with a guy he will usually mention his SO in the first 10 mins. I think this is an unspoken rule, and a good one!
It doesnt assume anything, it's just stating the fact, in a polite and effective way.......just in case :happy:0 -
For sure. I know when I'm flirty it's awesome when a guy mentions an SO in passing. Saves me time and energy.
I agree.
I don't think you should act like every man that talks to you is hitting on you, but you should find a way to bring up your SO into the conversation. Not the first thing you say, but don't wait until he says, "So wanna go on a date?" A good way to bring it up is something like, "oh, you like NASCAR? So does my boyfriend. He went to a race last year."
LOL I can imagine that interaction
Guy: Hey, y-
Girl: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND O____O
Guy: .... you dropped your wallet....0 -
When I'm flirting with a guy he will usually mention his SO in the first 10 mins. I think this is an unspoken rule, and a good one!
It doesnt assume anything, it's just stating the fact, in a polite and effective way.......just in case :happy:
I don't think it was rude. It's good to have clarification without shoving it in someone's face. I have had a man do that to me when I was flirting with him, but it was included in conversation and I got the mental note so I moved along. It's a good thing.0 -
For sure. I know when I'm flirty it's awesome when a guy mentions an SO in passing. Saves me time and energy.
I agree.
I don't think you should act like every man that talks to you is hitting on you, but you should find a way to bring up your SO into the conversation. Not the first thing you say, but don't wait until he says, "So wanna go on a date?" A good way to bring it up is something like, "oh, you like NASCAR? So does my boyfriend. He went to a race last year."
LOL I can imagine that interaction
Guy: Hey, y-
Girl: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND O____O
Guy: .... you dropped your wallet....
Hahahahahahaha yes some girls do that and it is absolutely rude to the guy. I would never assume that a guy talking to me means that he is interested, until he says so or makes a gesture that is indicative of it.0 -
"Men! Do you appreciate it when women let you know they are taken"
This. Please don't waste my time.0 -
Hahahahahahaha yes some girls do that and it is absolutely rude to the guy. I would never assume that a guy talking to me means that he is interested, until he says so or makes a gesture that is indicative of it.
See, I typically think a man talking to me MEANS he is either interested or (even more often) ego boosting by getting a pretty girl to converse with him), but at the same time I don’t see any need to shoot him down and be rude about it. It’s tough enough for guys to approach a desirable woman as it is. No reason not to smile back and be nice.0 -
I really hate when a woman does that. We're having a nice conversation, and then she panics and starts mentioning her boyfriend in an awkward manner: "Really, you're from Virginia? My boyfriend's aunt is from Virginia..." Huh?
On the other hand, it's true I usually am trying to flirt with the woman. But I'm never obnoxious about it. So no need to bring the bf into the conversation.
Although I would allow the exception: "My bf is over there, he's extremely jealous and heading this way, and I believe he has an axe." That would be OK.
--P0 -
No you did it right.
If he was being friendly he wouldn't care if you were taken.
If he was being flirty you just saved him some time and effort.
Kudos to you guys, that was the correct answer.
QFT0 -
No you did it right.
If he was being friendly he wouldn't care if you were taken.
If he was being flirty you just saved him some time and effort.
Kudos to you guys, that was the correct answer.
Yep this 100%0 -
Well, I would agree that it's best - and polite - to mention the SO early on, for the reasons mentioned above (save everyone time, calibrate expectations etc).
HOWEVER - sometimes, (rarely, thankfully) I've seen women who bring up the SO in the cattiest, snottiest tone imaginable. As if to say that the guy (yes, sometimes it's me) shouldn't have the audacity to even speak to her.
THIS is juvenile and rude (and offensive).
Look, if a guy chats you up, then he's probably either flirting with you, or just being friendly (or some combination of the two).
If the guy is flirting with you, he is giving you a de-facto compliment. Be gracious. Yes, tell him you're already involved, but there's no need for a smack-down. (especially because you'll get the smack-down back, when you're referred to as an ice princess - and justly so - if your name comes up in conversation subsequently) If he's just being friendly, be polite (even if you do choose to extract yourself from the conversation).
If you mention the SO, pretty much every decent guy will get the message instantly. Even most "non-decent" guys will at very least realize that their efforts are in vain.
All you have to do is slide that information in to the conversation, unless what you really want to say is "f-off". Even if that's the case, you should find some other more polite way to excuse yourself.
(of course, if the guy behaves like a total a-hole, all bets are off)0 -
To me, everybody is innocent until proven guilty. I assume they're just being friendly because I am. I like to talk to people do it's not unusual for me to talk to strangers at the bar or whatever. So I don't bring up bf unless they specifically ask if I have one. After all, most men that do come up ask that IF they're trying to hit on me.0
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Honesty is always appricieated.0
