Heart break
Options
Fhoover
Posts: 62 Member
I could use some encourgment right now. I found out last night that my 19 year old sister is pregnant. Her and her bf have only been together 6 months and he is use a dirty gross man. (he is my age 31) I know I should be happy but it just breaks my heart. My husband and I have been trying for several years now to get pregnant and it hasn't happy. I keep telling myself that if it's meant to be it will happen but that doesn't take the pain and hurt away. I am at a loss right now and I don't know where to turn. Everyone says adoption but we don't have the money for that and our house isn't the best, it is a fixer upper and we are slowly startring to fix it up.. I highly doubt we would pass a home inspection. I am not looking to have a baby this moment, I guess I just want to keep the hope that one day it may happen.. I feel like it is my fault we can't have a baby.. I just feel like it is so unfair, why is it that all these people can go have baby after baby with no trouble but I can't.. Am I bad person for feeling this way?
0
Replies
-
First off Your NOT a bad person for feeling this way!
My sister became pregnant very easily and I was yes jealous in a way because we had tried so hard and kept coming up empty (so to speak). At one point in time I wouldn't even go to a friends baby shower because it hurt so badly to know she and her hubby hadn't even been married a year and was pregnant. We had been married 3yrs by then and still no baby! As with everything it takes time and understanding by others. I didn't begrudge anyone there happiness but it made me feel like even though I was trying so hard it just wasn't enough...
YOU ARE STRONG! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WORTH THE JOURNEY. Please don't ever forget that. Strive for what you want, take a day at a time and you will get through.
0 -
I can understand how you feel because my hubby and I tried for 4yrs to have our 3rd baby. But, when I had giving up and decided that 34 was my magic number to stop trying that's when she came! I've had 3 ruff pregnancies...being hospitalized, pre-term labor, shots, premature babies and just plain ol depression!! It's most diff not you so pls don't do that to yourself! Things do happen for a reason and when you guys have your home together or almost the way you want maybe then the stress will be lifted and it will happen because that is how we ended up with our 3rd beautiful and very active little girl who also fought very hard to enter this Earth......Keep your head up because God always has us in the palm of his hands!! 0
-
Aww that's tough
I know EXACTLY how you feel! It always seems when you want to get pregnant the whole world around you in pregnant. At least that is how I feel! I hope the best for you...keep that head up and it'll happen! People that can get pregnant sooo easily have no idea how lucky they are. 0 -
I just wish I could figure out why we can't get pregnant. It breaks my heart and my sister is so upset with me because I am not jumping over the moon for her. Idk anymore 0
-
Give it time. How long have you guys been TTC???? Look at the larger picture I had to; we tested hubby too and found out he had low sperm count so he started vitamins and it helped up count. If your not taking a vitamin with B start it helps alot! Look into getting the book PCOS the hidden epidemic. Its amazing and will help you out a lot, my copy is so worn out the pages are starting to come unbound. lol Also look to friends add me if you'd like. IN time your sister will understand that you need to get you settled before you start bounding for joy for her~0
-
ok first .... breath... I have gone through the same thing with my three sisters....... I had distanced myself the first time and I missed out on my neice's early years. Then my second sister .... and I couldn't get it together.... missed the happy times with my nephew's early years. I had to straighten my thoughts and emotions.... to get a clear line of thought. You have to be happy when a baby is to arrive. Your time will come...... it will just take time. I hope this helps.....
Oh.... my other sister had a baby and I just had to eat him up he is so sweet.... so my time is right around the corner..... (crossing all fingers and all toes).... :bigsmile:0 -
Ok, Check out a video on youtube: its called "the pcos diet that worked for us" the girl tells you about a diet she did that helped her conceive her child..... loosing weight and avoiding foods that affect fertility for us women with PCOS is REALLY important. Start charting your cycles to get more familiar with you cycles, try supplents like b vitamins and maybe even royal jelly. I beleive that if I can get to a healthy weight, I will finally be bale to have my baby, Dont give up hope!0
-
NO!!!!, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON! I feel this way everyday and my husband & I aren't even trying. It seems like everywhere you turn there is a new pregnancy announcement and as much as all of those random ones hurt the ones that hit closer to home hurt the worst. Those are the ones that you can't escape from. Yes, you are happy for your sister and happy to be an aunt, but. you feel the way you feel.
And that is perfectly okay. Just know that being here and being on this site is the right track. Sharing your feelings w/ women who know exactly how you feel is a great way to release those emotions. Getting healthy and happy is the best thing that one can do for ones self.0 -
Give it time. How long have you guys been TTC???? Look at the larger picture I had to; we tested hubby too and found out he had low sperm count so he started vitamins and it helped up count. If your not taking a vitamin with B start it helps alot! Look into getting the book PCOS the hidden epidemic. Its amazing and will help you out a lot, my copy is so worn out the pages are starting to come unbound. lol Also look to friends add me if you'd like. IN time your sister will understand that you need to get you settled before you start bounding for joy for her~
Having been trying about 3-4 years now. I take a multi vitamin and B12 so I hope it starts to help Where can I find that book at? 0 -
ok first .... breath... I have gone through the same thing with my three sisters....... I had distanced myself the first time and I missed out on my neice's early years. Then my second sister .... and I couldn't get it together.... missed the happy times with my nephew's early years. I had to straighten my thoughts and emotions.... to get a clear line of thought. You have to be happy when a baby is to arrive. Your time will come...... it will just take time. I hope this helps.....
Oh.... my other sister had a baby and I just had to eat him up he is so sweet.... so my time is right around the corner..... (crossing all fingers and all toes).... :bigsmile:
good luck hon 0 -
Thank you so much everyone. I am starting to heal a little bit everyday. My sister is still mad that I am not "over the moon" for her but there is a lot more to the story then her just being pregnant. I don't approve of her "baby daddy" and how they live but I am learning to make myself better and worry about myself more and worry about others less
0 -
There is hope for you yet!!! I have a gf that had her first child at 21 and the it took her 8 years to get pregnant with her second! She slimmed down not alot mind you but around 20 pounds which I know sounds like alot but when you want a baby it isn't that much especially with as much weight as I have to lose! I never planned on having any babies myself not because I am selfish I just know that with the females in my family it is ***n near impossible for me to conceive! I told my gf that she could have all the babies for us! BTW no I'm not gay she is just one of the most amazing friends that has been in my life for more years than I care to count!0
-
Its funny I saw your post today. I just heard a dear friend is pregnant again (her 3rd) and the first thought in my head was "why does someone elses happiness have to make me so sad?" Hugs to you.0
-
I am getting better at accepting the facts. The night after I found out my sister was pregnant I found out her best friend is pregnant as well.. It was a long week to say the least.. Everyday I get a little stronger and feel less upset. Thanks for caring everyone0
-
I understand how you feel. It's hard to jump for joy when it only reminds you of how hard it is for you to get pregnant and you wounder if it is going to happen for you. I struggle myself with bitterness when I hear about others getting pregnant. I have not been trying quite a year yet and thanks to God I finally had a DR who put everything together and diagnosed me and got me on a treatment plan. What kind of treatment are you doing for it? Are you eating a lower carb diet?0
-
I understand how you feel. It's hard to jump for joy when it only reminds you of how hard it is for you to get pregnant and you wounder if it is going to happen for you. I struggle myself with bitterness when I hear about others getting pregnant. I have not been trying quite a year yet and thanks to God I finally had a DR who put everything together and diagnosed me and got me on a treatment plan. What kind of treatment are you doing for it? Are you eating a lower carb diet?
I just applied for insurance the other day so I'm waiting to hear if I get approved. I"m starting to eat less carbs and exersice more. I hope I can get into a doctor and find out why I can't get pregnant.0 -
I am sorry you are dealing with this right now. I know it's hard to watch other people have babies, when you have been trying with no luck. I hope your time is coming soon! Good luck in your journey!0
-
I was denied for insurance because of my weight. I don't know how they can do this but ok.. I"m going to keep working on getting healthy and let it play out however it does.. 0
-
I was denied for insurance because of my weight. I don't know how they can do this but ok.. I"m going to keep working on getting healthy and let it play out however it does..
That is so unfair, are you able to get insurance through your work (if you are not self employed or a housewife) or your husband's work.? I am so sorry that you are running into such road blocks.0 -
I was denied for insurance because of my weight. I don't know how they can do this but ok.. I"m going to keep working on getting healthy and let it play out however it does..
That is so unfair, are you able to get insurance through your work (if you are not self employed or a housewife) or your husband's work.? I am so sorry that you are running into such road blocks.
Yea I can get insured through work but not until Dec I really wanted to start to get back on the right track now not in 7 months but I guess I will work with what I have right now 0
