If a guy hardly EVER starts a conversation with you...
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veggiehottie
Posts: 590 Member
... But always seems happy to talk, and will talk for a long time when you initiate...
And it has been going on for MONTHS...
Is it time to walk away and leave him alone? Is he just being polite?
I have tried to keep my distance a few times, telling myself to wait for him to initiate, and we went two weeks without talking. lol
(This is a guy I see in person every day at my very small personal gym. But the initiation also includes a FB message and a few emails. He used to initiate the in-person but then I kinda "took over" and now he never does. Is he just waiting for me to do it?)
And it has been going on for MONTHS...
Is it time to walk away and leave him alone? Is he just being polite?
I have tried to keep my distance a few times, telling myself to wait for him to initiate, and we went two weeks without talking. lol
(This is a guy I see in person every day at my very small personal gym. But the initiation also includes a FB message and a few emails. He used to initiate the in-person but then I kinda "took over" and now he never does. Is he just waiting for me to do it?)
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Replies
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I have friends like that as well.
There is nothing to worry about.
(I know I'm too funny!)0 -
Quit playing games with the I'll wait for him to call me stuff. If you are unhappy with a situation, talk to the him. It will give you a pretty good idea of where you stand.0
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I would think if he liked you and knew that you liked him, he would not hesitate to initiate contact with you. I think the only reasons a guy would always wait for you to do the initiating would be 1) he is really insecure, isn't sure if you're into him, and doesn't want to make an *kitten* of himself, or 2) he likes talking to you, but he's not romantically interested and doesn't want to give you the impression that he is.0
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Quit playing games with the I'll wait for him to call me stuff. If you are unhappy with a situation, talk to the him. It will give you a pretty good idea of where you stand.
No, I think you have me wrong. Not playing games at all. Just wondering if I should give up talking to him. He is just a guy I like, nothing romantic has happened AT ALL. There would be nothing to "talk to him" about.0 -
I have friends like that as well.
There is nothing to worry about.
(I know I'm too funny!)
ha ha got it0 -
I would think if he liked you and knew that you liked him, he would not hesitate to initiate contact with you. I think the only reasons a guy would always wait for you to do the initiating would be 1) he is really insecure, isn't sure if you're into him, and doesn't want to make an *kitten* of himself, or 2) he likes talking to you, but he's not romantically interested and doesn't want to give you the impression that he is.
Thanks! This is kind of my thinking, too.0 -
Quit playing games with the I'll wait for him to call me stuff. If you are unhappy with a situation, talk to the him. It will give you a pretty good idea of where you stand.
No, I think you have me wrong. Not playing games at all. Just wondering if I should give up talking to him. He is just a guy I like, nothing romantic has happened AT ALL. There would be nothing to "talk to him" about.
Why give up talking to him at all. Why can't you just be friends. Obviously this has been going on for a while so I assume you like his personality on some level.0 -
Speaking as a Clueless Guy, a lot of us guys are clueless.0
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Quit playing games with the I'll wait for him to call me stuff. If you are unhappy with a situation, talk to the him. It will give you a pretty good idea of where you stand.
TALK TO THE HIM
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I would say to just talk to him about it and ask him why he doesn't initiate.
I was that quiet guy in a relationship. The girl I was dating had a really busy schedule, and I was always afraid I would bother her, so I would wait for her to contact me. Then we would talk for hours (of course, this was before i texted, when calling could actually be a bother).0 -
I would think if he liked you and knew that you liked him, he would not hesitate to initiate contact with you. I think the only reasons a guy would always wait for you to do the initiating would be 1) he is really insecure, isn't sure if you're into him, and doesn't want to make an *kitten* of himself, or 2) he likes talking to you, but he's not romantically interested and doesn't want to give you the impression that he is.
this0 -
(Basing this on what I would do)
Either he is not interested.
or he's unsure what to do.
or he feels more comfortable with you starting conversation.0 -
(Basing this on what I would do)
Either he is not interested.
or he's unsure what to do.
or he feels more comfortable with you starting conversation.
I agree with this, which means it is a hard one to answer.
From my experience you can initiate with a man and even if he ISNT interested some will still talk to you - this is a fact, been there.
With my last relationship of 9 months, I had to initiate atleast 90% of things, and it really started to cause alot of resentment. I would suggest talking to him and then see what happens. Sometimes it could be just his way, could be a misunderstanding, or he really could not be interested in you. You would think if he was interested, he wouldn't initiate something.0 -
I agree with JQ.
But you could always say something like, "Next time you do ___, shoot me a text and let me know" or "let me know how ___ goes." If he doesn't ever say anything, there's your answer. If he does, he might just be one of those people that is scared to initiate without a reason or scared they might be bothering you.
(I'm sort of like that, scared to initiate, so if I do, I usually start with something like "hey, I just heard that song ___ that we loved listening to in your dorm room" or "I was just laughing to myself because I thought of the time when so-and-so got mad at us for eating the last piece of cake LOL." It's a low-stress way to start a conversation...the person technically doesn't have to respond...but if they want to, they can.)0 -
These "men" you are talking about... They seem like strange little animals!From my experience you can initiate with a man and even if he ISNT interested some will still talk to you - this is a fact, been there
Scary, even.0 -
These "men" you are talking about... They seem like strange little animals!From my experience you can initiate with a man and even if he ISNT interested some will still talk to you - this is a fact, been there
Scary, even.
I could write a book about my online dating experiences, it would be a freaking best seller! watch out Oprah!
ETA: Personally, they probably had hidden agendas.. I know one did..0 -
if he never starts the convo it means hes not into u0
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I'd assume he's not interested in more than friendship. I have a friend like this. He probably initiates 90% of the time. He's just never on my mind unless I haven't heard from him in a month or so. I like him, and we have a lot to talk about when we get together, but I'm not interested in more. (He knows this though- I'm not into being a mixed message user)0
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I'm with Kits, I have no idea why people initiate chats or not. I can go a whole year without talking to my Dad.......lol........ I'd just say talk to him if you feel like it.
If you're trying to find out if he likes you or not, why not ask him? :flowerforyou:0 -
Being in a gym, I'm even more cautious about engaging a conversation with a woman. I don't want a woman to feel like it's meat market territory, and will keep the conversation like it's a professional office environment. I might "friendly" flirt at most, but nothing over the top. He may just have this perspective...
Maybe he doesn't want to end up "dating at the office" sort of speak...0
