You Know When You Are A Swimmer
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SwimtotheEnd
Posts: 69 Member
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My latest contribution to the swimming masses. Hopefully humourous but if it upsets at least its a reaction. As per usual add your own.
This is not my material (but gee it does sound like me, I added a few)
You know you are a swimmer when :
• You count all your laps
• You record all your laps
• You catergorise your laps
• You compare your laps
• you collect swim caps.
• In the toilet there are swimming books
• Your car has a spare towel bathers and goggles just in case you go past or have time for a quick swim.
• You surf the net to find new swim toys
• You surf the net to read swimming stories.
• You go international to increase swimming friends
• you critique the way people swim on TV or movies, because their technique is terrible.
• every conversation somehow reverts back to swimming.
• you can smell a pool from a mile away.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you wear flip flops and sandals year round.
• you decorate your fins.
• you have gotten into a fight with the lane line during a backstroke set.
• there is nothing worse than a warm pool.
• You know you’re a swimmer when it’s ok for you to wear Crocs, but no one else.
• you regularly buy your suits two sizes too small.
• you have the sound of “take your marks… beep!” forever engrained in your mind.
• a 10:00 am practice on Saturday morning means you get to SLEEP IN!
• you acquire the ability to detect lightning from miles away.
• You know you’re a swimmer when your conversations take place in 15 second intervals.
• you find yourself doing random shoulder stretches in class or the office.
• you have a permanent suit tan.
• you can swim longer distances than you could ever run.
• you have gone two weeks without a normal shower.
• You know you’re a swimmer when waking up before dawn to exercise seems normal.
• jamming a piece of Styrofoam between your legs is not a kinky sexual activity.
• you would win an eating contest against a football player.
• you know how many tiles there are from one end of the pool to the other.
• your skin is always dry.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you have few non-swimmer friends because you can never hang out with them.
• you get excited about Speedo’s newest catalog.
• bugs die of chlorine poisoning when they land on your skin.
• you’ve learned how to squirt water 15 different ways.
• the first place you go when you’re stressed out is a swimming pool.
• You know you’re a swimmer when being fishlike is a compliment.
• you have a permanent suit, goggle, and cap tan.
• practice of only 5000 yards sounds like heaven to you.
• you have trouble fitting into clothes because your shoulders are so broad.
• you have mastered the art of deck changing.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you know who everyone in you lane is from their feet cause you bump into them so often.
• you have rings around your eyes unrelated to the amount you sleep you got.
• there are wet towels over every door in your house.
• nearly your entire wardrobe consists of swimming shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and sweatpants.
• you sweat chlorine.
• You know you’re a swimmer when your hair is always wet, and ladies; your hair is always in a messy bun.
• you can’t understand why people worry about having a “bikini body” for the summer.
• you barely recognize fellow swimmers when they have dry hair and normal clothes on.
• there is nothing better than a continental breakfast.
• You load swimming humour on MFP
My latest contribution to the swimming masses. Hopefully humourous but if it upsets at least its a reaction. As per usual add your own.
This is not my material (but gee it does sound like me, I added a few)
You know you are a swimmer when :
• You count all your laps
• You record all your laps
• You catergorise your laps
• You compare your laps
• you collect swim caps.
• In the toilet there are swimming books
• Your car has a spare towel bathers and goggles just in case you go past or have time for a quick swim.
• You surf the net to find new swim toys
• You surf the net to read swimming stories.
• You go international to increase swimming friends
• you critique the way people swim on TV or movies, because their technique is terrible.
• every conversation somehow reverts back to swimming.
• you can smell a pool from a mile away.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you wear flip flops and sandals year round.
• you decorate your fins.
• you have gotten into a fight with the lane line during a backstroke set.
• there is nothing worse than a warm pool.
• You know you’re a swimmer when it’s ok for you to wear Crocs, but no one else.
• you regularly buy your suits two sizes too small.
• you have the sound of “take your marks… beep!” forever engrained in your mind.
• a 10:00 am practice on Saturday morning means you get to SLEEP IN!
• you acquire the ability to detect lightning from miles away.
• You know you’re a swimmer when your conversations take place in 15 second intervals.
• you find yourself doing random shoulder stretches in class or the office.
• you have a permanent suit tan.
• you can swim longer distances than you could ever run.
• you have gone two weeks without a normal shower.
• You know you’re a swimmer when waking up before dawn to exercise seems normal.
• jamming a piece of Styrofoam between your legs is not a kinky sexual activity.
• you would win an eating contest against a football player.
• you know how many tiles there are from one end of the pool to the other.
• your skin is always dry.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you have few non-swimmer friends because you can never hang out with them.
• you get excited about Speedo’s newest catalog.
• bugs die of chlorine poisoning when they land on your skin.
• you’ve learned how to squirt water 15 different ways.
• the first place you go when you’re stressed out is a swimming pool.
• You know you’re a swimmer when being fishlike is a compliment.
• you have a permanent suit, goggle, and cap tan.
• practice of only 5000 yards sounds like heaven to you.
• you have trouble fitting into clothes because your shoulders are so broad.
• you have mastered the art of deck changing.
• You know you’re a swimmer when you know who everyone in you lane is from their feet cause you bump into them so often.
• you have rings around your eyes unrelated to the amount you sleep you got.
• there are wet towels over every door in your house.
• nearly your entire wardrobe consists of swimming shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and sweatpants.
• you sweat chlorine.
• You know you’re a swimmer when your hair is always wet, and ladies; your hair is always in a messy bun.
• you can’t understand why people worry about having a “bikini body” for the summer.
• you barely recognize fellow swimmers when they have dry hair and normal clothes on.
• there is nothing better than a continental breakfast.
• You load swimming humour on MFP
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Replies
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Thanks for a great laugh.
I'm not all of those... yet :-)0 -
Another great post Swim! I am certainly guilty of a few of those, although I will not admit to which ones! Thanks for the laugh, again!0
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These are soooo true for me:
• you collect swim caps.....green daisy ones.
• In the toilet there are swimming books
• You go international to increase swimming friends
• you critique the way people swim on TV or movies! Just did this the other night!
• there is nothing worse than a warm pool.
• you can swim longer distances than you could EVER run.
• you have gone two weeks without a normal shower.
• you would win an eating contest against a football player.
• the first place you go when you’re stressed out is a swimming pool.
• you have trouble fitting into clothes because your shoulders are so broad.(or in my case my arms)
• you have mastered the art of deck changing.
• you barely recognize fellow swimmers when they have dry hair and normal clothes on.
• You read swimming humour on MFP0 -
Here are some from me
You a book about swimming technique on your office desk
You have a birthday card with a mermaid and dolphins on it pinned to the pinboard in your office
Your favorite birds are seabirds
You delay washing your hair until you've had a swim, or go for a swim because you are due to wash your hair0 -
One more to add:
You know you are a swimmer when your conditioner always runs out before your shampoo.
Happened to me again today in my after swim shower!0 -
Lost me after the third item :bigsmile:
I count my laps.
But I don't even wear a swim cap. So I have no need to collect them. I don't categorize my laps.
I just swim and count laps and record them in excel.:drinker:0 -
Love the posts! The delaying washing the hair got me laughing so hard! I plan my daily schedule, including business and workout, around when I need to wash my hair, which is typically when I swim.
Ok, so here's my (long) list
You know you’re a swimmer
When smelling chorine at random places brings a general feeling of comfort – Proust’s Madeleine effect (or involuntary memory in Psychology)
When you speak to, trust, socialize with, share your cell # with random ppl -- total strangers!-- without questioning who they are, just because you met them in a “swimming” context.
When, within seconds, you recognize ppl you run into at the pool, when they are all dressed, shopping at the grocery store, without even questioning where you might know them from.
When ppl approach you at the pool or at the beach for advice as they see you as the subject matter expert on swimming --a topic you felt you barely mastered—and you can actually answer their questions.
When you become a swimming-for-fitness evangelist
When you keep track of your performance in swimming jargon: FS, IM, Kick, Pull anyone
In fact, when you actually think of changing your routine to add kicks, pulls and more.
When you think swimming 2000 yards is not enough.
When you walk into the pool, all lanes are taken, and the “Swim weaklings” feel they have to give up their lane for you.
When you find yourself having to bring a bag at the actual pool to hold your swim gadgets/equipment
When you specifically time your swims so that you run into super power swimmers, to be properly challenged -- even though you might never ever reach their level, LOL!
When a regular commercial pool just doesn’t do it anymore and you long to belong to a Masters’ pgm
When Olympic size means “Special Treat”, and it’s the only place in which you can swim comfortably.
When you discriminate where you buy your training suit.
When you know every friggin’ swim equipment/brand out there and can discern which brand is good at what, even within their various line of products
When you bookmarked all serious online swim outlets shopping sites.
When you bookmarked all good training swim sites out there
When you created a “swim training” folder in your YouTube account
When you downloaded the Swim Smooth app.
When seeing someone swimming with bad form is painful to watch.0 -
When, within seconds, you recognize ppl you run into at the pool, when they are all dressed, shopping at the grocery store, without even questioning where you might know them from.
This made me laugh... For about a month I took lessons from this guy and we met 2 mornings a week for some one on one tweaking of my form.
Then one day I see him out side of the pool and we both kind of give each other the ..."Hey do I know you" look. then we both say Hey hows it going, "I didnt recognize you with clothes on" <---- Boy does that get some looks.0 -
Brilliant Zerryz! I relate to many of those as well. Thanks for making my day. You, Swim, Tricia and Maggie have pulled together a super fantastic post!! Funny, serious and oh so true. Love you guys
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Then one day I see him out side of the pool and we both kind of give each other the ..."Hey do I know you" look. then we both say Hey hows it going, "I didnt recognize you with clothes on" <---- Boy does that get some looks.
Cracking up!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Brilliant Zerryz! I relate to many of those as well. Thanks for making my day. You, Swim, Tricia and Maggie have pulled together a super fantastic post!! Funny, serious and oh so true. Love you guys
Glad I was part of the comedian team that entertained you. Love to put smiles on faces.0 -
You know you're a swimmer when you have a birthday party in the middle of swimming laps at 5am.0
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Then one day I see him out side of the pool and we both kind of give each other the ..."Hey do I know you" look. then we both say Hey hows it going, "I didnt recognize you with clothes on" <---- Boy does that get some looks.
Cracking up!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This has happened to my wife. She take a water fitness class every day of the week. She is the youngest in the classes, the tallest, and the only Puerto Rican, they all miss her when she is not there, yet when she said hi to someone from her class at Costco, the woman said "do I know you?" Ha!0 -
You miss swimming for a few days and you get mighty tetchidty !!
The voices in my head are returning !! AAArrrgghh0 -
When you've jammed your finger trying to out touch an opponent/the guy in the lane next to you who doesn't know you're racing him/to beat your own personal best time.
When you've been to a team leg shaving party (guys).
When you've grossed out cheerleaders who were forced to go to at least one meet because you haven't shaved your legs all season long (ladies).
When you don't care if any of the guys on the team see your hairy legs because they're like brothers (ladies again).
When you understand the term swimcest.
When you saw one of your hairy legged female teammates outside of the pool setting and dressed up nice, and she didn't have a cap or goggles on and she looked so good, you entertained the idea of swimcest for a minute or two (guys again).
When you've showered with the same group of people so often, you unofficially adopt a team showering song.
When you read the news of the Costa Concordia going down and couldn't understand why people just hung out in the water with life jackets on waiting to be rescued when they were only 150 yards from shore.
When the thought of completing the first leg of a triathlon excites you but the prospect of completing the last leg scares you so permanently that you'd never consider an actual tri.
When the men's 4X100 freestyle relay from the Beijing Olympic Games is among your favorites on YouTube (Americans).
When you can name Olympic swimmers not named Michael Phelps or Mark Spitz.
When you've swam in a lap-a-thon to raise money.
When you have a rash looking rubbed spot against your shoulder because you haven't shaved in a day or two, but you gotta get the laps in.
When the slightest shoulder pain scares you to death.
When you go to the pool for fun but you can't because you're preoccupied with the set that killed you last week in that same pool.
When you can stay at the bottom of the dive tank for a minute and a half to look for bills, loose change, watches, jewelry, etc.
When you keep the cash because you consider it a supplement to your lifeguard salary.
That's all I've got for now.0 -
When you read the news of the Costa Concordia going down and couldn't understand why people just hung out in the water with life jackets on waiting to be rescued when they were only 150 yards from shore.
I can state I had the same thought.When the slightest shoulder pain scares you to death.
Ditto. I start thinking "oh man, I don't want to back off."When you can stay at the bottom of the dive tank for a minute and a half to look for bills, loose change, watches, jewelry, etc.
I can add: "When you can stay on the bottom of the deep end for long enough that the teenagers forget you're down there and start getting all touchy-feely thinking there is no one looking at them."0 -
worth reading just for the term. " swimcest"". priceless.0
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When half the time at work you can't hear out of one or both ears, because you got water in your ears (ear plugs fail) and it won't come out!
Also when it takes a full on thunderstorm to get you out of the pool once you've started (or even before LOL)!
:-)0 -
Your little boy snuggles with you, puts his face against your neck and inhales and says, "mommy, you smell so good! Just like the pool!"0
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Oh! When you haven't showered at home for MONTHS, but you shower everyday.0
