Need some help getting inside my head.
roguex_1979
Posts: 247 Member
Someone posted a link to this group and so I thought someone here might be able to help me. And I'm hoping to learn more about how others are breaking their habits!
I have been watching Superskinny v Supersize, and Biggest Loser and other programmes about people who are overweight, and the doctors/trainers try to get inside the head of the fat person to see what happened that caused them to overeat.
A lot of people seem to have proper underlying problems, such as abuse, or comfort eating after a death in the family, or their mum/dad left them as a child.
I am trying to find out if there is anything that is causing me to eat all the time. When I was younger, I never thought I was thin/skinny, although I wasn't massive, I was the middle sized person in my little clique of three. I had a fat friend and a skinny friend. And I always seemed to have an unhealthy (although probably normal for a child) relationship with sweets and chocolates. My parents allowed my sister and I to have 4 chocolates on the weekend, and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ate mine on Friday night and had none left for the weekend.
As I got older, I found the key to the chocolate cupboard and pilfered the chocolates. When I was older still, I would use all my pocket money to buy sweets, crisps and chocolates and I would scoff them all in one sitting, something that has carried on all through my life. These days, I can't buy certain things because I just eat it all, like biscuits, chocolates, crisps and even cheese! But until I was about 18, I never put on any weight.
It was only when I came to England from South Africa that I started putting weight on. I was happy in my relationship and I put weight on. Then when we broke up, I lost it all again. Then I met someone else, but this time I put weight on because I was unhappy in my relationship and he made me feel ugly. Not for want of trying, I did several weight loss programmes and did eventually get down to 9st 7lbs (which incidentally is my goal now), but then put it all back on, plus more. Then we broke up 4 years ago and I lost some of the weight and then met my wonderful fiance. I am very happy with him and once again, I put the weight on and 2 years ago, I decided enough was enough and while I was happy in my relationship, I was not happy with myself. I didn't feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. And hence, here I am now, 32lbs lighter and still going.
But, I still have the compulsion to buy loads of sweets, chocolates and crisps and just nom them all in one sitting and I just don't understand why.
Anyone (who took the time out to read my novel of a post) had a similar situation, or know anyone in a similar situation? I don't think there is a real cause, but my relationship with food has always been unhealthy.
Reading back through my own post, could it be that I just associate happiness and comfort with food? And if that's the case, why did I not wither away and die when I was unhappy in my last relationship? Was I trying to make myself happy by eating? And if that's the case, why did I eat so badly when I WAS happy in a relationship.
Sorry for the long post!
I have been watching Superskinny v Supersize, and Biggest Loser and other programmes about people who are overweight, and the doctors/trainers try to get inside the head of the fat person to see what happened that caused them to overeat.
A lot of people seem to have proper underlying problems, such as abuse, or comfort eating after a death in the family, or their mum/dad left them as a child.
I am trying to find out if there is anything that is causing me to eat all the time. When I was younger, I never thought I was thin/skinny, although I wasn't massive, I was the middle sized person in my little clique of three. I had a fat friend and a skinny friend. And I always seemed to have an unhealthy (although probably normal for a child) relationship with sweets and chocolates. My parents allowed my sister and I to have 4 chocolates on the weekend, and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ate mine on Friday night and had none left for the weekend.
As I got older, I found the key to the chocolate cupboard and pilfered the chocolates. When I was older still, I would use all my pocket money to buy sweets, crisps and chocolates and I would scoff them all in one sitting, something that has carried on all through my life. These days, I can't buy certain things because I just eat it all, like biscuits, chocolates, crisps and even cheese! But until I was about 18, I never put on any weight.
It was only when I came to England from South Africa that I started putting weight on. I was happy in my relationship and I put weight on. Then when we broke up, I lost it all again. Then I met someone else, but this time I put weight on because I was unhappy in my relationship and he made me feel ugly. Not for want of trying, I did several weight loss programmes and did eventually get down to 9st 7lbs (which incidentally is my goal now), but then put it all back on, plus more. Then we broke up 4 years ago and I lost some of the weight and then met my wonderful fiance. I am very happy with him and once again, I put the weight on and 2 years ago, I decided enough was enough and while I was happy in my relationship, I was not happy with myself. I didn't feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. And hence, here I am now, 32lbs lighter and still going.
But, I still have the compulsion to buy loads of sweets, chocolates and crisps and just nom them all in one sitting and I just don't understand why.
Anyone (who took the time out to read my novel of a post) had a similar situation, or know anyone in a similar situation? I don't think there is a real cause, but my relationship with food has always been unhealthy.
Reading back through my own post, could it be that I just associate happiness and comfort with food? And if that's the case, why did I not wither away and die when I was unhappy in my last relationship? Was I trying to make myself happy by eating? And if that's the case, why did I eat so badly when I WAS happy in a relationship.
Sorry for the long post!
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Replies
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What you posted really got me interested to try to figure out why I so love to get alone with lots of food... I do associate fun times with food and I realized today that when my son is feeling down, I want to get him a favorite food to make him feel better....not a good thing to be teaching my child.
I know I overeat to make myself feel better and I can sometimes figure out what it is that is stressing me out to make me want to feel better, but sometimes, like today, I am just shopping and see something and my mind just gets all compulsive about wanting to buy it. I know it won't make it home because I will eat it in the car so no one will see me. Today I was able to resist....I also don't know why I don't binge sometimes when I want to.
I am quite a bit older than you -59- and I think a lot of my problem is just breaking a bad habit, no matter why I do it,. I mean all kinds of people get stressed out, but they find other ways to comfort themselves. I asked my son what he does and he says he just finds something he enjoys doing and does it. Like drawing. So, maybe we just don't give ourselves permission to do what we want when we need to, so we eat the feelings away instead.
I don't really know. Do you have any new insights? There are lots of books to read on the subject, but they never seem to make any difference for me.0 -
I have just started to see a counsellor, for me, binge eating started as a result of sexual abuse when I was a child. The counsellor I see through ACC is wonderful and I have been very fortunate to find such a good counsellor so soon.
I am currently learning about the little girl within me. You know those little wodden dolls that have a smaller 1 in them, I am learning how that can be layers of ourselves at times. Its really interesting. I am going to keep going until I resolve the issue and have resolved the issue, for me it got triggered by a trauma.
Try and work out when you started binge eating, were you a little kid affected by a trauma, could even be a death of someone close to you. If you can identify that, you could identify what you were trying to fill by eating, eg hurt because of..... etc.It may take you a bit, but then you can deal with the root of the problem.
Hope this helps and it is helping me by going to the counselling.0 -
Overeaters Anonymous is really good for this. You could get the book and not necessarily go to meetings, but getting involved with another OA member can be a huge support. I did the program for close to five years and then left and gained all the weight back and then some. I have decided that I am returning to it. But that is just me. It's a personal choice.
OA is amazing for teaching self awareness and reflection. Step four gets you to think about your past hurts, but also past wrong doings which i think it the key to understanding ourselves.
Another idea is that sometimes I think it's not just about a bad experience per se, but learned behaviour from family. Addictive behaviour from a close family member: drugs, food, alcohol, sex, shoplifting, spending, gambling... kids see everything right?
p.s. not trying to plug OA, i just thought the topic was interesting and wanted to post about my past experiences.0 -
Lots of Love, I've been curious about OA for years! It always seems like a last resort, but whenever I've taken those quizzes like "If you check more than ___ 'Yes' answers, you might look into OA", I always qualify. What is the book you're referring to?
Roguex, I totally empathize with trying to figure out your "cause". For years, I resisted terms like "emotional eating" because I was like ummm, I just like junk food. Junk food tastes good. End of story. For me, once I started doing some reading and deep thinking, I figured out that whenever I pig out on chips or ice cream or whatever, I have to be reading a book or watching TV at the same time, sometimes both. For me, it's a way to tune out the world. If I'm zoned out chowing down on Doritos or whatever, I don't have to think about anything else that might be going on in my life.
But I also think that while finding your trigger (or whatever you want to call it) can definitely be helpful, don't drive yourself too crazy if it doesn't seem obvious. The important thing is that you're taking steps to fix it! My sister smokes, I eat junk food. Different personalities have different dispositions and weaknesses (in my opinion). Best wishes!0 -
i totally agree about different strokes for different folks. my vice is food. boooo! :-)
here is a link to the OA group on here. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/666-overeaters-anonymous-oa
or http://www.oa.org/
there is a 12 step book called Overeaters Anonymous. You can get it online or at anybookstore or OA meeting. Around 12 bucks.
again, not pushing something, just providing the link for people interested.0 -
i am really loving this group though. it's a more active board too.0
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Thanks for the info!0
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