Hello & I am sorry...I did it again!!

Hello Everyone - I started this group and I am sad to say I FAILED again!!! I abandonned (sp?) all of you and myself. Why do I always do this?? I get so tired with my life taking care of everyone else - I don't have time to take care of myself! I made a promise to myself that I am not going to do this any longer...My children are getting older now - 7 and 4 and they are getting easier....and my husband he is a big boy and can take care of himself....These past 7 years have been about everyone else and in turn I packed on 66 pounds.....I hate when I look in the mirror, I hate to put on clothes, I hate to shop and I hate myself for letting me get this way. So no more....

I can be strong....I can do this....wish me luck!!! I am no longer in my 20's hell I will be 40 next year so I know I will not bounce right back and my results might not be super quick - but one day at a time!

Good Luck to all of you that are in the same boat as me.

Wish me Luck!!! :)

Replies

  • bed2883
    bed2883 Posts: 92 Member
    Good luck!!
  • amammaa4
    amammaa4 Posts: 176 Member
    When I read your post I felt like you were speaking for me
    I had logged on over 200 days and then fell off the wagon about 8 months ago.I had lost 35 pounds and put 30 of it back on. I am also turning the big 4-0 next year. Mirrors are NOT my friend and getting dressed is dreadful!!!! But I am back and giving it my all. I wish you luck. Let's take this one day at a time and stay strong!!!!
  • moms0211
    moms0211 Posts: 64
    So how are you guys doing?

    I can honestly say I am going to the gym but only two days a week for an hour and it is a minimal work out cause I have a bum knee and I have this huge metal brace on it – so attractive let me tell you! Lol But at least I am going….my food choices are still not great! I am not eating huge portions and hardly snacking at night and defiantly limiting the wine. But it is really tough – my food drug of choice is Pepsi and that is my total down fall. Every night I say to myself tomorrow is going to be better, I will not drink pop and then it never seems to happen and I get SO MAD at myself! I feel like I am so far gone how do I come back from this and this one pop won’t make a difference anyways. Did you guys watch the Biggest Loser?? Something hit home with that show this season that it is mostly mental! I totally agree – but don’t know exactly how to get over that hump. I feel like crap and I am exhausted all the time and so much more – so why is that not enough….Maybe I should drink that pepsi or eat in front of a mirror. I always think I look so much better in my mind…Then when I look in the mirror I am like oh ya! :(

    Do you know of any good books out there talking about the mental thing or diet books/foods??

    I struggle to cause I am not a very good cook….who am I kidding I hardly know how to cook….I read a recipe and am like what is that?? How do I do that?? Plus with having small children they are so picky but I really want to change these bad eating habits for all of us. We were at the pediatrician yesterday and when we left I said to my 4 year if Dr. Doug really knew how much juice or pop you drink he would freak!!! My children are by no means over weight – they are rails…but I know it will not always be like that….

    I would appreciate any tips you can give.

    I am suppose to go the grocery store after work and am stressing cause I have no clue what to buy - that is different from my normal shopping....which turnd me into this!

    Thanks for being here and for listening!
  • bed2883
    bed2883 Posts: 92 Member
    I was losing and then stopped losing and just gave up. I've been on MFP for over a year and am heavier now then when I started. I am now 4 months pregnant. I haven't gained any weight yet and I credit that to being focused on not gaining. I have really good food choice days and really bad food choice days but staying near my caloried limit of TDEE minus 20%. I'm not strict about my calorie count, but using the number as a guidepost. My OB is perfectly fine with my method since I am so overweight.

    I know I need to drink more water, but I'm so sick of water. I need to get back to healthier choices, but I'm exahusted and just grab freezer stuff or take-out. I need to get back in the gym.

    With my first I gained 40 pounds and didn't lose it all before I had my second. With my second I had only gained 8 pounds at 31 weeks, but I then went into preterm labor and went on bedrest. Bedrest equaled a lot of online shopping and a lot of eating. Now that I am at my heaviest ever including when I went into labor with my first I think I really do get it now. I can't keep going like this.
  • moms0211
    moms0211 Posts: 64
    I totally hear you!! I think I secretly thought with my first child (who is now 7) that I could eat whatever I wanted cause I was pregnant and I would lose right away! Well yep I don't think so....cause that is not what happened....I lost about 20 out of the 40 pounds I put on....then when I had son (who will be five in June) same thing....I should have learned the first time! Needless to say I still have a lot on me from then and then some!

    I went grocery shopping today and I was so proud of myself I kept saying to myself NO MORE EXCUSES....NO MORE EXCUSE - only buy what you like that is healthy...I stayed out of the chip aisle and all those bad for you isles....I mostly just shopped the perimater of the store...I learned that a long time ago at weight watchers....Yep that didn't work either....the only one that is going to do this is me! No funky diets...no weight watchers...no pills just me eating healthy and exercise I have finally accepted that!

    I made a healthy dinner and listened to kids ***** thru the whole thing - it was really driving me....but I am not giving into them anymore like I have done in the past! Needless to say it was a quiet night cause they were sent to bed after dinner! I just pray that will eventually learn that I am doing this not only for me but for them!
  • amammaa4
    amammaa4 Posts: 176 Member
    My drug of choice is pretty much anything Frito Lay.... mainly Doritos!!! I'm on day 9 of eating NONE. Go me!
    My problem is I am SO picky. I don't like many veggies and I love carbs. So I get tried of eating the same thing and then I start slipping. I do know if I wait until I am hungry to eat I'm in trouble. Thats when I make a quick peanut butter sandwich and grab the chips. I work 2 jobs and when I get home at 6 the last thing I want to do is cook. I need to learn how to cook with a slow cooker/crock pot! I also just started the insanity dvd's. I haven't gotten off the floor from doing the fit test! I also joined a new gym. The one my family uses was i swear 90% people who were totally fit and I felt so intimidated. So I joined Planet Fitness. Really good price and much less intimidating.
    Great job on sticking with your guns with the kiddos. I know how hard that can be! Hope everyone has a great day
  • bed2883
    bed2883 Posts: 92 Member
    I made a healthy dinner and listened to kids ***** thru the whole thing - it was really driving me....but I am not giving into them anymore like I have done in the past! Needless to say it was a quiet night cause they were sent to bed after dinner! I just pray that will eventually learn that I am doing this not only for me but for them!

    This is one of the biggie things my husband I need to tackle. We are far from perfect eaters, but when we are on top of things we are pretty healthy eaters. However, our kids are beyond picky and I know some of it it's because they are small kids, but the other part of it is because we allow it. So, beginning tonight we are eating the table and the first plate they are getting is whatever we are eating. They don't have to like it and they don't have to eat it all, but they have to try it. Only then will I get them something else and I need to make sure they get a healthy somehting else.
  • bed2883
    bed2883 Posts: 92 Member
    My drug of choice is pretty much anything Frito Lay.... mainly Doritos!!! I'm on day 9 of eating NONE. Go me!
    My problem is I am SO picky. I don't like many veggies and I love carbs. So I get tried of eating the same thing and then I start slipping. I do know if I wait until I am hungry to eat I'm in trouble. Thats when I make a quick peanut butter sandwich and grab the chips. I work 2 jobs and when I get home at 6 the last thing I want to do is cook. I need to learn how to cook with a slow cooker/crock pot! I also just started the insanity dvd's. I haven't gotten off the floor from doing the fit test! I also joined a new gym. The one my family uses was i swear 90% people who were totally fit and I felt so intimidated. So I joined Planet Fitness. Really good price and much less intimidating.
    Great job on sticking with your guns with the kiddos. I know how hard that can be! Hope everyone has a great day

    I use to hate vegetables, but now I eat them. Not all, but some. I started out with raw carrots and dipping them in light ranch dressing. Then I progressed to raw broccoli dipped in light or fat free ranch dressing. Then I started eating steamed broccoli with garlic salt and steamed green beans with olive oil and garlic salt. Now, I can eat broccoli plain. I like asparagus now. I still like a little bit of olive oil and garlic salt with my green beans though.

    I know for me personally I need to make those big changes in baby steps otherwise I can't sustain them.

    One of my favorite things to make in the crockpot is a whole chicken. I usually hate leftover chicken, but if I made it in the crockpot it's so juicy and I'll eat the leftovers. I just put a whole chicken in and usually half of a small bottle of light italian dressing cook on low 6-8 hours. It's a little difficult to get out because it's falling off the bone, but so yummy!
  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 614 Member
    You and I need to meet at Wegmans and shop together. :-)

    Also don't keep Pepsi in your house. If you husband drinks it he will need to get his fix outside of the house. Tell him in the long run when you are skinny and you feel sexy it will definitely benefit him in the long run.
  • moms0211
    moms0211 Posts: 64
    bed2883 - by the way what is your name? lol

    Whenever I try to make chicken or turkey in the crockpot it comes out with all this slimy film all over it....and I do Italian dressing too does yours?

    Jen - It is a date!!!
  • melaniedsm
    melaniedsm Posts: 55
    My drug of choice is pretty much anything Frito Lay.... mainly Doritos!!! I'm on day 9 of eating NONE. Go me!
    My problem is I am SO picky. I don't like many veggies and I love carbs. So I get tried of eating the same thing and then I start slipping. I do know if I wait until I am hungry to eat I'm in trouble. Thats when I make a quick peanut butter sandwich and grab the chips. I work 2 jobs and when I get home at 6 the last thing I want to do is cook. I need to learn how to cook with a slow cooker/crock pot! I also just started the insanity dvd's. I haven't gotten off the floor from doing the fit test! I also joined a new gym. The one my family uses was i swear 90% people who were totally fit and I felt so intimidated. So I joined Planet Fitness. Really good price and much less intimidating.
    Great job on sticking with your guns with the kiddos. I know how hard that can be! Hope everyone has a great day

    I use to hate vegetables, but now I eat them. Not all, but some. I started out with raw carrots and dipping them in light ranch dressing. Then I progressed to raw broccoli dipped in light or fat free ranch dressing. Then I started eating steamed broccoli with garlic salt and steamed green beans with olive oil and garlic salt. Now, I can eat broccoli plain. I like asparagus now. I still like a little bit of olive oil and garlic salt with my green beans though.

    I know for me personally I need to make those big changes in baby steps otherwise I can't sustain them.

    One of my favorite things to make in the crockpot is a whole chicken. I usually hate leftover chicken, but if I made it in the crockpot it's so juicy and I'll eat the leftovers. I just put a whole chicken in and usually half of a small bottle of light italian dressing cook on low 6-8 hours. It's a little difficult to get out because it's falling off the bone, but so yummy!

    Have you tried Juicing. I am not saying drink only juice while pregnant. I am saying it is a great way to get the nutrients from veggies/fruits w/o actually having to consume. Might be a nice add to your day as a snack or quick breakfast. I do it the night before and store it in mason jars.

    My husband and I did just juices for about a month w/ a protien & green dinner. I can honestly say I wasn't hungry. He tyipically hates veggies, but that little bit has changed his taste buds. I was able to slowly add more veggies and remove apples. (Apples make everything taste better.) Now I can feed him non-juiced veggies and he actually likes them. He is still juicing, I came off this week as I started a bootcamp and am eating that plan. I am also pretty sure I am about 8 weeks prego, so needed to switch to more solids for sure to get the fiber.