Hey guys

Ergh. I'm struggling today. It's now ten days since my last binge, which is amazing and I've been feeling great. But today I can feel it clawing at me - I think it's because I've been rushing around and haven't been eating proper meals, just grabbed snacks here and there, so I've lost track of exactly what I've eaten and feel like I'm getting closer to that point where I'll go 'whatever, one day won't hurt, I'll just go and buy whatever I want and eat it all'. But I know that one day WILL hurt, maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally. The silly thing is that I know if I get back in control now, today won't be a bad day at all - I've only eaten a couple of pieces of toast with peanut butter, a date and nut snack, and a banana with almond butter, and had bought a latte while I was waiting for the train...I KNOW that's fine and I haven't overdone it, AT ALL. But something in me is telling me that i have and I might as well give up for the day.

I need to sort it out - I know I'll feel better if I can overcome this today and just stop myself, but my resolve is fading - I'm starting to want to just eat. I have that weird excited feeling and I keep thinking about the things I might buy. Can you shout at me, please?!

xx