Definitely silly.

--P

Not silly but people need to realize it isn't something it is disposabile and they actually have to work at.

Marriage isn't for everyone but I agree it's not silly and it takes a lot of communication and work to make it last.

Not silly at all I was with my ex for 21 years. The loss of our relationship was neccessary but devastating for us as people and for our family, but I don't regret all the years we spent together or what we created. So therefore it was not silly to marry.

To me marriage is not the issue, it's whether it's silly to plan on being together for a lifetime. For some this will mean marriage, for others it won't.

If you went into every relationship on the basis that they may not last then that would substantially reduce the quality of the relationship and the likelihood of it lasting. It would become a self fullfilling prophecy. Realistically many/most relationships won't last forever, neither should they if they are bad ones. But I doubt those people would be any happier in the long term if they didn't hope, dream and emotionally invest themselves fully in what they wanted. And in the short term they would miss out on a lot. Life is risky, there's no way of insuring ourselves against pain and when we try to do so, our lives often become limited by our fears.

Relationships are like life, you can focus on the future and the uncertainties about what may/may not happen or you can concentrate on living it fully, right now. Of course most of us do both, but often we do too much of the former at the expense of the latter.

I think this boils down to simple economics. If you cohabitate you gain all the financial advantages of economies of scale (sharing purchases of housing, food, vacations, etc. so you can't really count those as benefits to marriage. The only significant advantage of marriage is the tax breaks for filing jointly. Once you estimate your tax break you need to make assumptions about the number of years you reasonably expect to be married. For every year in the future you should discount the value of that tax break by the expected rate of return you would expect to receive on investments of similar risk. The sum of the these benefits is the Net Present Value of benefits from marriage. The costs include the price of the wedding, clerk fees for the marriage license and any back end fees caused by the dissolution of the marriage. If there is a prenup that should be included too. With the exception of the costs of dissolution, all these costs occur on or before the date of marriage so there is no discounting necessary. The dissolution costs should be appropriately discounted. These figures provide an estimate of the net present value of costs.

If the net present value of benefits is greater than the net present value of costs, it is worth it. Otherwise, it is not.

I think this boils down to simple economics. If you cohabitate you gain all the financial advantages of economies of scale (sharing purchases of housing, food, vacations, etc. so you can't really count those as benefits to marriage. The only significant advantage of marriage is the tax breaks for filing jointly. Once you estimate your tax break you need to make assumptions about the number of years you reasonably expect to be married. For every year in the future you should discount the value of that tax break by the expected rate of return you would expect to receive on investments of similar risk. The sum of the these benefits is the Net Present Value of benefits from marriage. The costs include the price of the wedding, clerk fees for the marriage license and any back end fees caused by the dissolution of the marriage. If there is a prenup that should be included too. With the exception of the costs of dissolution, all these costs occur on or before the date of marriage so there is no discounting necessary. The dissolution costs should be appropriately discounted. These figures provide an estimate of the net present value of costs.

If the net present value of benefits is greater than the net present value of costs, it is worth it. Otherwise, it is not.

Phew- now all of my woe is me I secretly want to get married again feelings are put in perspective, AND the self pity that I didn't have a wedding or a ring the first time because we were idiot graduate students with no money is finally abated! It's simply cost volume profit analysis!


But for real, I used be a records research peon and was always reassured when working with marriage and divorce- lots more marriage.

I don't think it's silly to get married... but I do think the notion that it's suppose to be a comitment for life is. And the funny thing is people keep spending more and more money on weddings that don't seem to own up to the investment.

I think marriage is silly because people rely on contracts and pieces of paper to bind them to each other on a legal level rather than focusing on the emotional connection. To me, being proposed to (or proposing) means more than a pseudo religious ceremony and government documents. A proposal is the moment you decided you want to spend the rest of your life together, and that you mutually agree you will work together to make it function. Communication, dedication, loyalty and mutual respect all mean more.

Then again, I don't even enter into relationships lightly because once I emotionally connect with someone I naturally do everything in my power to make it work.

Don't even get me started on how ridiculous I think weddings are :laugh:

I think marriage is silly because people rely on contracts and pieces of paper to bind them to each other on a legal level rather than focusing on the emotional connection. To me, being proposed to (or proposing) means more than a pseudo religious ceremony and government documents. A proposal is the moment you decided you want to spend the rest of your life together, and that you mutually agree you will work together to make it function. Communication, dedication, loyalty and mutual respect all mean more.

Then again, I don't even enter into relationships lightly because once I emotionally connect with someone I naturally do everything in my power to make it work.

Don't even get me started on how ridiculous I think weddings are :laugh:

this!

I dont believe in marriage. It's a farce for about 75% of couples. And that guess is conservative......lol

i want cake

No the Disney fantasy is obsolete.

The end.