He doesn't want a relationship :(
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UrbanLotus
Posts: 1,163 Member
I got the guts up to tell this guy i reallyreallyreally liked that I was looking for a relationship and wanted to make sure we were on the same page. At that time he said he wasn't looking just to hookup, was looking for a relationship eventually. Well, he just told me that he was thinking about it and he isn't ready for a relationship...he is moving back to his hometown halfway across the country in November so thats why.
I'm really heartbroken
. It wasn't that long or anything, but this is really the first guy with real potential that I have met in literally YEARS. We got along great, amazing chemistry, so much in common, could talk about anything .
I'm really heartbroken
. It wasn't that long or anything, but this is really the first guy with real potential that I have met in literally YEARS. We got along great, amazing chemistry, so much in common, could talk about anything . 0
Replies
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A good thing is; is that you asked and found out sooner or later.
It sounds like a good thing that you were able to hang out with this guy for a bit, maybe he'll move back closer or you will be more confident when you meet the next nice guy.0 -
A good thing is; is that you asked and found out sooner or later.
It sounds like a good thing that you were able to hang out with this guy for a bit, maybe he'll move back closer or you will be more confident when you meet the next nice guy.
Yeah I agree, part of me does feel relieved now because I don't have to stress over it anymore, and I appreciate his honesty.0 -
I was in a similar situation last year. The guy I had fallen for really hard, really fast was leaving. He was only in town for a couple of months for a training course and his job has him all over the world for various amounts of time.
Don't look at it as a rejection... He's really doing you a favor. He's telling you now that if you were to have a relationship, it would have an expiration date. It's not something you want looming over your head. You wouldn't enjoy the time as much knowing it would end.
I'm still in touch with mine... We still talk about whatever, the feelings are still there, but I'm moving on. I don't think there is much else I can do, and since you've only been seeing each other for such a short time, packing up and going with him might be a bit unreasonable... Just enjoy the time you have.0 -
I was in a similar situation last year. The guy I had fallen for really hard, really fast was leaving. He was only in town for a couple of months for a training course and his job has him all over the world for various amounts of time.
Don't look at it as a rejection... He's really doing you a favor. He's telling you now that if you were to have a relationship, it would have an expiration date. It's not something you want looming over your head. You wouldn't enjoy the time as much knowing it would end.
I'm still in touch with mine... We still talk about whatever, the feelings are still there, but I'm moving on. I don't think there is much else I can do, and since you've only been seeing each other for such a short time, packing up and going with him might be a bit unreasonable... Just enjoy the time you have.
This.0 -
I was in a similar situation last year. The guy I had fallen for really hard, really fast was leaving. He was only in town for a couple of months for a training course and his job has him all over the world for various amounts of time.
Don't look at it as a rejection... He's really doing you a favor. He's telling you now that if you were to have a relationship, it would have an expiration date. It's not something you want looming over your head. You wouldn't enjoy the time as much knowing it would end.
I'm still in touch with mine... We still talk about whatever, the feelings are still there, but I'm moving on. I don't think there is much else I can do, and since you've only been seeing each other for such a short time, packing up and going with him might be a bit unreasonable... Just enjoy the time you have.
Oh yeah there is absolutely no way I would pack up & go for anyone less than a fiancee! I am trying to look at it positively, he didn't lead me on, he was straight with me. He does want to hang out and be friends/whatever I'm ok with, so I need to think about that.0 -
Still hurts Sorry hon. 0
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I was in a similar situation last year. The guy I had fallen for really hard, really fast was leaving. He was only in town for a couple of months for a training course and his job has him all over the world for various amounts of time.
Don't look at it as a rejection... He's really doing you a favor. He's telling you now that if you were to have a relationship, it would have an expiration date. It's not something you want looming over your head. You wouldn't enjoy the time as much knowing it would end.
I'm still in touch with mine... We still talk about whatever, the feelings are still there, but I'm moving on. I don't think there is much else I can do, and since you've only been seeing each other for such a short time, packing up and going with him might be a bit unreasonable... Just enjoy the time you have.
Oh yeah there is absolutely no way I would pack up & go for anyone less than a fiancee! I am trying to look at it positively, he didn't lead me on, he was straight with me. He does want to hang out and be friends/whatever I'm ok with, so I need to think about that.
He still wants to hang out platonically or hang out and bang?
Could be a situation of "He's just not that into you"0 -
I was in a similar situation last year. The guy I had fallen for really hard, really fast was leaving. He was only in town for a couple of months for a training course and his job has him all over the world for various amounts of time.
Don't look at it as a rejection... He's really doing you a favor. He's telling you now that if you were to have a relationship, it would have an expiration date. It's not something you want looming over your head. You wouldn't enjoy the time as much knowing it would end.
I'm still in touch with mine... We still talk about whatever, the feelings are still there, but I'm moving on. I don't think there is much else I can do, and since you've only been seeing each other for such a short time, packing up and going with him might be a bit unreasonable... Just enjoy the time you have.
Oh yeah there is absolutely no way I would pack up & go for anyone less than a fiancee! I am trying to look at it positively, he didn't lead me on, he was straight with me. He does want to hang out and be friends/whatever I'm ok with, so I need to think about that.
He still wants to hang out platonically or hang out and bang?
Could be a situation of "He's just not that into you"
Clearly he isn't that into me, thanks. And no, we were not banging and will not be.0 -
I'm sorry. Like the others said, at least you know now.
I don't think I could just hang out, especially when feelings were involved. I think you'll just end up getting hurt all over again. 0 -
I'm sorry. Like the others said, at least you know now.
I don't think I could just hang out, especially when feelings were involved. I think you'll just end up getting hurt all over again.
Thank you
. I'll have to see, maybe hang out with other friends first. If he wasn't moving I probably wouldn't, but that does make it a little easier on me. 0 -
A guy who wants to be wih you won't care that he's moving away in Nov.. if he thought you were worth it. That sounds harsh but I tell myself that when a guy rejects me/ friend zones me/ whatever. Because I want someone who thinks I'm worth more than gold!!! We deserve that!!! :flowerforyou:
Now NEXT the fella and may you find someone even more perect for you!!!0 -
A guy who wants to be wih you won't care that he's moving away in Nov.. if he thought you were worth it.
I know, please don't make me feel worse. Its taking all I have to not break down in tears right now and I'm at work.0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he was really smitten for you, him moving wouldn't even be a thought in his mind... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I may lean with the other poster on the case of 'he's just not that into you' Which is ok, becuase that means you can find the one who is.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he did really think you were worth it/the girl for him, he wouldn't care he was moving away... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I would tend to lean more to 'he's just not that into you'..... No guy or girl for that matter wants to be someone's friend when they LIKE THE PERSON! they want a relationship... I will be curious to see if he contacts you to hang out.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.
Absolutely agree.
It might hurt right now, but at least you have an answer. It sucks when you're scared or shy (like me) and like a guy for years, but never have the courage to tell him or make a move. It's miserable. You are extremely lucky that you have guts, and I know that you'll pick yourself up soon and get back out there. 0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he was really smitten for you, him moving wouldn't even be a thought in his mind... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I may lean with the other poster on the case of 'he's just not that into you' Which is ok, becuase that means you can find the one who is.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.
Oh I am moving on, I have no choice. But I'd also rather not hear that he wasn't into me and what he would do if he did - its just rubbing salt in the wound. I get it.0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he was really smitten for you, him moving wouldn't even be a thought in his mind... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I may lean with the other poster on the case of 'he's just not that into you' Which is ok, becuase that means you can find the one who is.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.
Oh I am moving on, I have no choice. But I'd also rather not hear that he wasn't into me and what he would do if he did - its just rubbing salt in the wound. I get it.
Sorry if you feel I offended you.. I realize you are having a crappy time, I have been there a few times recently myself..I guess for me, it feels empowering to say 'he isn't into me' or 'I'm not into him' becuase at the end of the day it has NOTHING to do with your worth or value.. you don't fall short sister... you just weren't suited for eachother and that is OK!! becuase now you are free to find the one who is. Keep your chin up!0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he was really smitten for you, him moving wouldn't even be a thought in his mind... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I may lean with the other poster on the case of 'he's just not that into you' Which is ok, becuase that means you can find the one who is.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.
Oh I am moving on, I have no choice. But I'd also rather not hear that he wasn't into me and what he would do if he did - its just rubbing salt in the wound. I get it.
Sorry if you feel I offended you.. I realize you are having a crappy time, I have been there a few times recently myself..I guess for me, it feels empowering to say 'he isn't into me' or 'I'm not into him' becuase at the end of the day it has NOTHING to do with your worth or value.. you don't fall short sister... you just weren't suited for eachother and that is OK!! becuase now you are free to find the one who is. Keep your chin up!
Great advice.
Not everything is all about how YOU are and how YOU need to change.
I had a guy who liked me last year. He was literally perfect...so kind, extremely smart, caring, a total gentleman. But there wasn't a spark. I wasn't into him like that but I wish I could've been. It didn't mean that there was anything wrong with him, there wasn't. It was just me. We got along great, had easy conversations, but it wasn't meant to be for us.
Think of it that way, that is the most logical answer.
Now he is free to meet someone and you are free to meet someone that can commit himself to you.0 -
I am sorry doesn't matter what situation, it still sucks and tugs at the heart (hugs)
I agree with all the other posts.... it is great he was upfront with you and didn't lead you on, but on the flip side if he was really smitten for you, him moving wouldn't even be a thought in his mind... he would be sweeping you off your feet. I may lean with the other poster on the case of 'he's just not that into you' Which is ok, becuase that means you can find the one who is.
I don't want to make you cry or sound harsh, but I have been thru a few situations, where it is just easier to listen to his words 'I don't want a relationship' and move on... becuase you are one step closer to finding the man of your dreams! I really believe that.
Oh I am moving on, I have no choice. But I'd also rather not hear that he wasn't into me and what he would do if he did - its just rubbing salt in the wound. I get it.
Sorry if you feel I offended you.. I realize you are having a crappy time, I have been there a few times recently myself..I guess for me, it feels empowering to say 'he isn't into me' or 'I'm not into him' becuase at the end of the day it has NOTHING to do with your worth or value.. you don't fall short sister... you just weren't suited for eachother and that is OK!! becuase now you are free to find the one who is. Keep your chin up!
I'm sorry as well. I also feel a weird empowerment when I realize he's just not into me. It's a closure of some sort and I remind myself I won't ever settle for crumbs.0 -
I know exactly how you feel sweetie. I live in a small military community and being that I work on the military installation, my circles usually have me involved with highly mobile people. Over the last couple of years I've met a couple of amazing ladies that we clicked so perfectly; however, they ended up moving ahead of schedule. For them, I considered a long distance relationship; however, they were facing deployment, overseas assignments, and further training while my career calls for 60% of time for me to be travelling. We both had to agree with what was written on the wall.
I know exactly how you feel : ( Sending some good joo joo your way, hope that you meet THE guy soon enough.0 -
I don't think I could just hang out, especially when feelings were involved. I think you'll just end up getting hurt all over again.
It's not a big deal, if you like the person, it's not as hard as you would think. I would rather have a great friend than never see her again.0
