At 40 pounds to lose, I would not recommend putting about average and rationalizing it.

I just don't see how someone my height and smaller has 40lbs to lose. I know we all have different frames, but if she's a size 12 then I wonder if she's being too hard on herself and that most normal guys would find size 12 "average"

I agree don't put curvy, and wouldn't even really put "few extra pounds" for the reasons DB mentioned.

Diana's success with "curvy" notwithstanding, most guys who search for that are doing so because they're looking for the big girls. Size 12 isn't even available in "big girl stores" like Lane Bryant, which is where I draw the line at being "big."


I'm 5'4" and a very hourglass size 14-16 (you can't really see that from my pic but that's what my tags say). Most people have told me "about average" is what I should put for a guy looking for someone my style. Some guys consider that fat, though, so I always have a variety of full body pictures. It still doesn't stop guys from being disappointed in my appearance but if I were back down to a 10-12 I would put athletic, because that's actually pretty bony on my frame.

While I tend to agree that needing to lose 40 lbs shouldn't make you average, but maybe a few extra pounds.. I truly believe it is what you weigh... come on, if you weigh 150 (which I think is average) and want to lose 40 lbs to be a stick ... no offense .. you aren't a few extra pounds. I think you need to look at it from what society thinks, not your personal self.

If you need/want to lose 40 lbs but are a size 12, I would say average... but that is me.
Although I say average at a size 6/8 but I have a big fat tummy from the twins and feel fat... so who knows..

I personally think a size 12 is average and sexy!

I also agree that you need to have full body shots to show your figure, and that you need to be honest... but I think size 12 can go either way, and I would chose average.. you don't shop in the plus sized section..

Depends on your view of what 'a few exta lbs' is

At 40 pounds to lose, I would not recommend putting about average and rationalizing it.

I just don't see how someone my height and smaller has 40lbs to lose. I know we all have different frames, but if she's a size 12 then I wonder if she's being too hard on herself and that most normal guys would find size 12 "average"

I agree don't put curvy, and wouldn't even really put "few extra pounds" for the reasons DB mentioned.

Diana's success with "curvy" notwithstanding, most guys who search for that are doing so because they're looking for the big girls. Size 12 isn't even available in "big girl stores" like Lane Bryant, which is where I draw the line at being "big."


I'm 5'4" and a very hourglass size 14-16 (you can't really see that from my pic but that's what my tags say). Most people have told me "about average" is what I should put for a guy looking for someone my style. Some guys consider that fat, though, so I always have a variety of full body pictures. It still doesn't stop guys from being disappointed in my appearance but if I were back down to a 10-12 I would put athletic, because that's actually pretty bony on my frame.

hmm maybe we have different definitions for curvy, because i describe myself as curvy. i'm currently a size 10 sometimes 12 but i have hips and a booty.

If I see a profile with only shots of a woman's face and she describes herself as "curvy" or "a few extra pounds"... iI believe it means she's significantly overweight. Full body shots, please.

This. I have a male friend who is adamant that he won't date anyone without a full body shot because he's felt mislead so many times. I don't think the label matters that much as long as your pictures are honest. I always left body type blank, but had multiple images.

I think the average/curvy/a few extra is a topic that goes on forever because there isn't really an answer. Decent pictures can usually clear up semantic problems for those words, I think.

Hmm...I wonder if the misapprehension of 'curvy' holds in the UK as well as the US. I'm putting together a proile at the moment, and I've put down 'curvy' in the tick-box, then clarified in the 'describe yourself' section that we're talking 50's pin-up curves, not Beyonce. Maybe I should be clarifying the other side of things as well - I'm not Dawn French, either! At 5'8" and US 12-14, well-proportioned, but with about 20-30lbs to go to my ideal shape, I guesstimate, and a very solid frame, I wouldn't say I'm 'average' - at least not for London. 'A few extra pounds' sounds worse than 'curvy' does, to me, but it seems people are suggesting that curvy implies a lot heavier...

50's pinup curves & Beyonce are the same to me lol, so not sure what you mean? I think curvy *actually* means a small waist & big hips/booty - so an hourglass or pear shape (J. Lo, Beyonce, Halle Berry, etc are all curvy). But for some reason a lot of women who are like plus size/100lbs overweight call themselves curvy, so the meaning has gotten distorted.

To be fair, one can be curvy and obese. If you're talking waist to hip measurements, I have a 14" difference between my waist and hips... I'd call that curvy. However, that doesn't mean I put that on my profile...

This is my perception of what they mean (take it for what it's worth).

I consider average to be somewhere between underweight and overweight (going by body fat %, BMI, etc)
Athletic and toned is if you can see abs.
Curvy would be having above average breasts and hips
Full figured I consider about the same as curvy, but more "plus size".
A few extra lbs would be slightly overweight, but without the noticeable breasts and hips
Heavyset and big and beautiful mean about the same thing to me.
Stocky would probably be close to a few extra lbs, but shorter, and more upper body weight.
Slender would be underweight or towards the low end of a healthy weight.

But on dating sites most people cheat, so like Zack said that's why it's important to have a couple good pictures. If somebody says they are average but don't include any full body pics I will assume they are a bit larger than what I perceive to be average.

If I see a profile with only shots of a woman's face and she describes herself as "curvy" or "a few extra pounds"... iI believe it means she's significantly overweight. Full body shots, please.

This. I have a male friend who is adamant that he won't date anyone without a full body shot because he's felt mislead so many times. I don't think the label matters that much as long as your pictures are honest. I always left body type blank, but had multiple images.

I think the average/curvy/a few extra is a topic that goes on forever because there isn't really an answer. Decent pictures can usually clear up semantic problems for those words, I think.

agreed just include full body shots probably with time stamps or description. just an FYI, I personally will get turned off by guys who are looking for ONLY slender/ athletic and toned. I mean you like what u like, but if u are looking for Barbie, it aint me.
i'm latina, I love t eat and I love my curves. even if he tried to contact me I would probably ignore them because I assume they are superficial.

agreed just include full body shots probably with time stamps or description. just an FYI, I personally will get turned off by guys who are looking for ONLY slender/ athletic and toned. I mean you like what u like, but if u are looking for Barbie, it aint me.
i'm latina, I love t eat and I love my curves. even if he tried to contact me I would probably ignore them because I assume they are superficial.

I agree with your sentiments. The place where this annoys me is where the use of this check box is dishonest, and there is a "surprise" on the date. Personally, I "like what I like" as you said, and I - like many men - consider a wide range of body proportions as attractive - and even then, body type is just one category of overall attraction. ( as is "honesty", as shown by being accurate in stating your age, posting reasonably recent pictures, and an honest self assessment of one's body type)

oh I agree. I have never really been disappointed in the people I met because they didn't lie about their appearance BUT I have had someone select the wrong body type. it may just be a matter of how he viewed himself, because really all the "weight categories" don't come with a definition so its open to interpretation.

A few extra pounds. (where I would rate myself as well)

I used to wonder what I should put when I joined a site as well. I wanted to put athletic because I play soccer and run a good 15 miles a week, but I'm not ripped or anything and still a size 8/10. Now I just go with average, and like others have said I just put full body pictures/face pictures that are no older than a month old. As long as you're not doing the whole myspace angle shots I wouldn't worry too much. I just got back on okcupid after a long hiatus..we'll see how it goes..haha. Good luck! :drinker:

when i was on dating sites, i had the same trouble! not on anymore because i'm tired of the drama there.

i'm a 6/8...but thought if put athletic/toned, guys would think i'm super tiny or rock solid. i can't put slender because i'm not slender. average implies about a size 12, which i'm not. curvy felt the most accurate, but i think a lot of guys equate curvy with "BBW" types. everyone is obviously beautiful in their own way, but i hate having to click a box. i usually put curvy or average or athletic, depending on how i was feeling when filling the profile out...

Ok... I need input on what I am. I have large boobs but no real hips. I'm kind of athletic in my legs and arms but not midsection. Average? Been toying with starting another online account when my project buttons up. What do you guys think?

I've always thought of you as athletic.