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How/when did you tell your child he has autism?

rlinz123
rlinz123 Posts: 30
in Social Groups
Hello,

It seems like a lot of you on here have older children, and as the mother of a 5 year old with special needs, I am hoping you might answer a question I have been thinking about. When did your child realize she/he was "different?" How did you talk to him/her about this? My son is 5 and has PDD-NOS, speech/language disorder, sensory integration disfunction, and Central Auditory Processing Disorder. He is in a special ed. kindergarten classroom, and as far as I can tell, he is not aware that he is in a different classroom than his developmentally typical peers but I don't want him to feel like we have kept anything from him.

Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks,

Rebecca

Replies

  • fitandgeeky
    fitandgeeky Posts: 232 Member
    This is a really good question. I also have a five year old. She was diagnosed with moderate autism and will be going into a specialized ASD class for kindergarten. As far as I can tell she doesn't know she is different from other children. But I imagine she will before too long because she has a sister who is typical developmentally and not quite two years older than she is.
  • pberta
    pberta Posts: 48 Member
    My son is now 9 and we have always mentioned to him that he has Autism. He goes to a school with similar children and I think they reinforce that everyone is different. Check out "The Survival Guide for Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (and their Parents)" by Elizabeth Reeve, MD. The book helps kids understand what ASD is in a very easy to read format.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    When your child brings up the fact that he notices that he is different, that's when you have that discussion. At his age now, it's really not necessary.
  • iclaudia_g
    iclaudia_g Posts: 148 Member
    My son is diagnosed with Aspergers and I told him around the time he was 10 years old. I bought a book about Aspergers and talked to him. He cried and said he did not want to be different but I told him all of us are different anyways it's just he had a different way of looking at the world and a different learning style that required a different setting. My son is in a level 5 ASD program and has been since he was diagnosed at at 5.

    We struggle a lot with his sensory issues because they prevent him from doing a lot of things other kids can do, like just walking down the hall between classes, working in groups and coping with the noise, odors, and eye contact. My son probably knows he's different but he really does not seem to care or take notice. He stims and carries on doing what he does no matter who is around. People stare at us all the time. I like to think it's me they are staring at :tongue:
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    My child on the spectrum is in a general ed class with an IEP and pull out services, but she has no clue she's on the spectrum and won't care, won't notice the differences so there's no point telling her something she doesn't understand now. If she ever asked or commented, I'd say something, but it seems unnecessary for us now.
  • rlinz123
    rlinz123 Posts: 30
    Thank you all for your helpful comments. Pberta, thanks for the book recommendation, I will check it out!

    I have a good friend who has twins (now teenagers); one boy has autism, one does not. She told me she had to explain her son's diagnosis to him pretty early, because he did not understand why things came so much more easily to his brother than to himself.

    In my case, it doesn't seem necessary yet. I guess it's kind of like him having 2 moms. He has not yet asked why he doesn't have a dad or why he has two moms, so we haven't broached that with him yet. But when he DOES ask, we are very prepared, having created a book all about our family, the sperm donor we used, etc., and have our (hopefully) thoughtful conversation all planned out. I guess we just need to do the same for the autism question. :)

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