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Self-doubt. Is it a MS thing or just life?

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Benji49
Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
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So, the question is....am I the only MS'er who takes everything personally? Like I somehow failed to do something, could have done better, should have known how to fix things????

Am I the only one?

Bea :cry:

Now, having posted this I'm going to go do something.....eat, or exercise......I guess if I can get my butt past the freezer door where the icecream is I can make it all the way to the treadmill.

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  • sed1217
    sed1217 Posts: 228 Member
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    I'm not sure what you mean - do you feel like you should have done something differently to prevent MS, or that you feel like you need to be in control/are blamed for anything going wrong?

    I think both of those things are common to a lot of people, and MS is just a catalyst in this case. I think a lot about how I might have unwittingly brought MS on myself, as if MS is some sort of cosmic punishment. It stems from being a very type-A personality, who wants to control everything in her life all the time. If something bad happens to me then obviously I've brought it upon myself because I am in control of all things in my life...lol...the further I go on with that line of logic, the more absurd it gets.

    I hope you feel more settled and happy soon. Off-topic, but I've found all of your posts here in the MS group to be really helpful and comforting. I really admire you for handling everything so well here!
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
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    Thanks, I try to stay positive. Just some days I feel like I should somehow be more aware of everything and somehow make everything right for everyone. Right now it's not so much my MS that has me down - its more the mood that my husband's in and the clashes with our son. The two of them are so much alike that they just cant see the viewpoint of the other.and then they get into the great "I can avoid talking to you longer" mood.

    I just feel that I should somehow be able to calm them both and it just makes me sad when I don't know where to start. Totally unrealistic I know.

    Anyway - the walk helped. Put my music on and ignored them all! I have just found that since my dx I've been more sensitive to everything, wasn't sure if I was alone in that or not.
  • itsjustmedeb
    itsjustmedeb Posts: 8 Member
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    I wanted to say 1st, I just found this group on MFP.....I started using MFP after my gastric bypass surgery but to know this group is out there will definitely be a great benefit to me.

    In reference to your topic of "self doubt", I think that is a part of our MS disease. I know I personally battle with spells of low self esteem (self worth) and self doubt. Maybe that is because unless we are unable to walk or must use a wheelchair, bedridden or living in a nursing home, we want to do and act as everyone else even though we know that is not always physically or mentally possible. With our physical limitations we then feel we are letting others down by not carrying a full load.
    I definitely think self-doubt is a MS thing!
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
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    That's it exactly. I'm a classic "if I do it myself I know it is right" person, and I was raised to just do whatever needed to be done whether it was my 'job' or not. Takes a lot of thought for me to actually ask for help - although I am getting better at that. And I end up feeling like I'm imposing when it's something simple that I've always done for myself.
  • unicornlady77
    unicornlady77 Posts: 72
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    You sound a lot like me.
  • Emilyschumacher
    Emilyschumacher Posts: 3
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    I personally just joined the group because I hired a nutrition coach that recommended fitness pal. I was crushed when she told me that expecting to lose weight just with exercise was unrealistic. When I shared my feelings she questioned why I was crushed. I suppose it was the statement that I couldn't do what i use to do that was hard to accept. She told me that she didn't say I couldn't but that exercise is health no matter how much I did. Healthy for my muscles to remember what to do, health for my heart but that I didn't need to reset my behavior but my expectations on how fast I would lose weight and what else I had to do like watching what I ate and looking for foods that made me feel stronger or better instead of the empty calories I was consuming. It is important not to change your wishes, dreams and goals but accept that it may take more time, more patience, or different approaches or focus (when my body allows me to focus!).
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
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    Yes it does require re-training your approach to food - but on the plus side it doesn't seem so horrible once you get started. Once you start cutting back on the sugary drinks and the fried foods and desserts made of processed chemicals it is really hard to go back to that. It's not a quick thing and you will slide back every once in a while - but that's what we are all here for. We'll encourage and support as much as you want.

    Bea

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