Introduction: Hi I'm Meg
short_nerdy_lady
Posts: 152
Hey everyone,
I'm Meg. 28 in June. And I have been battling Chronic Anxiety since I was about 16.
For a few blissful years it wasn't too bad but came roaring back in the form of PTSD in Nov 2012 when my ex whom I was living with at the time, had a brutal suicide attempt. I came home to a suicide letter, an empty medicine cabinet with empty med packages and blister strips all over the counter and his car was gone. I was the one that contacted his Mum and for 48 terrifying hours we had no idea where he was. He was found. And is alive. I have since broke ties with him and his family and moved 2 cities away.
In 2010 my roomate L attempted suicide, I was the one that found her and called 911. This was very traumatic for me.
This past January I found out a different ex was successful in his attempt. All three of these instances has left me with massive guilt and fear. However my anxiety has been built on a terrible childhood. (no details)
I am currently on a starter dose of Venlafaxine and am taking melatonin at night to help me sleep. In addition to counseling I am here to try and get my comfort eating and weight under control to help my mental health as well.
For years this has been a lonely ride. I finally found a stable man who isn't afraid of me or thinks I'm weak or crazy. He's concerned and is helping me through this and loves me in spite of all this. For that I am thankful.
It's nice to meet you all. Add me if you like.
Meg
I'm Meg. 28 in June. And I have been battling Chronic Anxiety since I was about 16.
For a few blissful years it wasn't too bad but came roaring back in the form of PTSD in Nov 2012 when my ex whom I was living with at the time, had a brutal suicide attempt. I came home to a suicide letter, an empty medicine cabinet with empty med packages and blister strips all over the counter and his car was gone. I was the one that contacted his Mum and for 48 terrifying hours we had no idea where he was. He was found. And is alive. I have since broke ties with him and his family and moved 2 cities away.
In 2010 my roomate L attempted suicide, I was the one that found her and called 911. This was very traumatic for me.
This past January I found out a different ex was successful in his attempt. All three of these instances has left me with massive guilt and fear. However my anxiety has been built on a terrible childhood. (no details)
I am currently on a starter dose of Venlafaxine and am taking melatonin at night to help me sleep. In addition to counseling I am here to try and get my comfort eating and weight under control to help my mental health as well.
For years this has been a lonely ride. I finally found a stable man who isn't afraid of me or thinks I'm weak or crazy. He's concerned and is helping me through this and loves me in spite of all this. For that I am thankful.
It's nice to meet you all. Add me if you like.
Meg
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Replies
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Meg, you're incredibly brave to share this story. I can't imagine how hard it is to go through all that.
I'm glad that you've found someone who is good for you, and the two of you are working together to better yourself/yourselves physically (and mentally/emotionally).
If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.0 -
I agree with Crista. Meg, you are amazingly brave, resilient and resourceful. You are a survivor. You survived a terrible childhood and fought your way through the fear to achieve a few blissful years. You survived three traumatic events and the loneliness they brought but kept going through the bad times to find a man capable of supporting you who loves and believes in you. You've survived without being consumed by bitterness, instead you feel gratitude. Now you are doing what's needed to further improve your life. I love how your ticker sums up your attitude to adversity: "when nothing goes right, go left". No matter what life dishes out to you, you will find a way back. Never give up Meg, you have proved you have what it takes to make a happy life for yourself. I hope the counselling and the weight loss help too
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I agree.. You've proven yourself to be resource. If you need a friend I'd be pleased to be added and perhaps we can support each other in our quest to manage and/or eliminate or reduce anxiety.
Dee0 -
.....For years this has been a lonely ride. I finally found a stable man who isn't afraid of me or thinks I'm weak or crazy. He's concerned and is helping me through this and loves me in spite of all this. For that I am thankful.
Meg
You are not weak or crazy. Don't be afraid to try different meds if your trail does not seem to help, My 1st 2 meds either made me "zone out" or just not care. Be determine with your doc to get the help and support of the meds. Also on a more personal note I only suggestion is to learn to forgive yourself....something I still struggle with daily.
Hang in there...and don't blame yourself for others actions.0 -
Thanks @ cajuin
My meds raised to 75mgs, 3 days in and I have turned into a narcoleptic. Im gonna give it 4-6 weeks see if its just a side effect.0 -
WOW Been a while since I posted here. Just an update: I started working again last November and been off my meds since December, only taking St Johns Wort during the rough patches as an herbal back-up. In March we had a death in the family and considering my past I handled things well.
I still have some bad/dont want to get out of bed kinda days but having a job and such is really helped me.0
