PCOS frustrations
azeria
Posts: 527 Member
I was thinking of creating a group where people, like me, living with PCOS are struggling and trying to get pregnant. It has been such a difficult battle and I am truly getting tired of it. However, I want that baby sooooo bad! People keep telling me that I should adopt. I know that is an option, but I have spent my entire life taking care of other people's kids. I think having one of my own is what I need. I know if I adopted, the child would be my own... I do get that too.
I am also a stepmom, and let me tell you, that in itself has been a struggle. I met my stepkids when they were 10 and 11 (now 17-18). I love them to pieces.... My heart was terribly broken in the last year and a half... I realize now, from doing research, that the kids are possibly victims of parental alienation syndrome... which means that they... well now just the youngest one... have been brainwashed to hate us, and used as a pawn against us. I've been doing a lot of research on that lately... Anyhow, I'm sharing this little bit of my life to add that I have been highly stressed (making it more difficult to lose weight and/or get pregnant). Secondly, I've been told one too many times by many people... "you are not their mother"... "you would feel differently if you were their real mother"... all that to say, that I don't want to put myself into a position again where people can say any of those things to me... it cuts like a knife! Which is why, I'm not ready to go down the adoption road.
So, here I am, I started this weightloss project over a year and a half ago. I managed to lose 53 pounds so far... but I've pretty much plateaued and feel extremely exhausted and broken... I don't know what to do anymore, or where to turn to. I do constantly struggle with depressive feelings. I'll have a few great days and then something happens (like taking a pregnancy test or get a nasty message from the children's mother) and I lose all the strength that I had.
I have noticed that this group hasn't had much interaction in the last 3 months, but if anyone out there is still around and can offer some advice/encouragement, I would really appreciate it... Share your own stories and frustrations too... I'm better at helping others then helping myself.
I am also a stepmom, and let me tell you, that in itself has been a struggle. I met my stepkids when they were 10 and 11 (now 17-18). I love them to pieces.... My heart was terribly broken in the last year and a half... I realize now, from doing research, that the kids are possibly victims of parental alienation syndrome... which means that they... well now just the youngest one... have been brainwashed to hate us, and used as a pawn against us. I've been doing a lot of research on that lately... Anyhow, I'm sharing this little bit of my life to add that I have been highly stressed (making it more difficult to lose weight and/or get pregnant). Secondly, I've been told one too many times by many people... "you are not their mother"... "you would feel differently if you were their real mother"... all that to say, that I don't want to put myself into a position again where people can say any of those things to me... it cuts like a knife! Which is why, I'm not ready to go down the adoption road.
So, here I am, I started this weightloss project over a year and a half ago. I managed to lose 53 pounds so far... but I've pretty much plateaued and feel extremely exhausted and broken... I don't know what to do anymore, or where to turn to. I do constantly struggle with depressive feelings. I'll have a few great days and then something happens (like taking a pregnancy test or get a nasty message from the children's mother) and I lose all the strength that I had.
I have noticed that this group hasn't had much interaction in the last 3 months, but if anyone out there is still around and can offer some advice/encouragement, I would really appreciate it... Share your own stories and frustrations too... I'm better at helping others then helping myself.
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Replies
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I just joined this group. I also have PCOS and related fertility issues. I did two cycles of Clomid and did not ovulate either cycle. So my OB/GYN referred me to an RE that basically told me that if I lose weight then I won't need her. So, she told me to take 6 months to focus on weight loss and I'm just about at the end of that.
And, I know what you mean about having a child birthed through your body, and wanting that connection so, so, so badly. I'm in a polyamorous triad and my girlfriend got pregnant two years ago and I was heartbroken because *I* was the one trying to get pregnant -- she just had a birth control "failure" (as in, failed to use BC that time!). She ended up having a very early miscarriage, but the whole experience really solidified for me that I want to be pregnant and give birth at least once.
The folks who tell you that you are not your stepkids' mom may be well-meaning, but they are wrong! You may not be a birthparent, but you are still a parent to those kids. You still love them like a parent and you should be commended for that -- not all step-parents have loving/parental feelings towards their step-kids.
I don't have any advise to offer -- just virtual hugs and good thoughts.0 -
Thanks for your message Erika! I have been off mfp for a while now, just trying to get my life back in order. However, something made me want to check in today, so here I am.
I can't imagine how hard things must of been for you to watch someone living with you that you love going through the process of having a child. I'm sure you found a way to cope, but I also know, that sometimes, even when we don't mean to, we feel jealous. Then, you find yourself with the guilt over those jealous feelings. No one understands your feelings and you try to hide them... Ok, maybe I'm talking about myself here. Anyhow, all that to say, I know how you must of felt. Although, I'm sure you do love that baby more then anything.
Hang in there, I'm sure there is a plan for us out there somehow...0 -
Hi Girls! I too am a pcoser and have been struggling to conceive for over four years. I told one round of clomid 3 and half years ago and actually conceived, but then I miscarried at 8 weeks, that was devastating. After that I thought that i could be successful again with clomid, but I did a few more rounds of clomid, and then femera, but was never able to get pregnant again.... I just came across a you tube video of a lady who went on the low amylose diet on advise from her RE, and after trying EVERYTHING short of IVF, she naturally became pregnant. So I started the low amylose diet and have been following it strictly for the last week and I have lost 7 pounds in this week alone! Feel great on the diet so I am sticking to it, here is to hoping that if I loose weight and keep up the diet that I too will be able to have my baby. Never loose hope, god willing we will better ourselves and be blessed with a little one soon!0
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@motivatedshi that's awesome! Can you share a little bit more about the low amylose diet? I've never heard of it before.0
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you can look up the you tube video " the pcos diet that worked for us". The lady in the video does a great job of explaining what you can and cannot eat. In a nutshell you avoid all pure form of sugars like pop, cake, candy, ice cream, cookies etc... You AVOID root vegetable like Carrots, Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Beets. You also avoid Bananas ( this was a bit shocking to me) You avoid ALL grains like barley, oats, wheat, and rye, basically the only grain you can eat is Quinoa ( which I actually like so it was easy to substitute) You eat at least 6 oz of protein every day, and at least 3 servings each of above ground vegetables, and fruit daily. You don't have to watch your fat intake as carefully, and the lady in the video said not to count calories, but I still am since doing so helps me stay motivated and on track. I have started this diet last week and have lost a good 7 pounds since then and feel more energetic than I have in a loooong time0
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I am in the same boat as you ladies. TTC with PCOS for 4.5 years and 2 failed IVF cycles. Low Amylose is the same as low-carb with a new name. Probably a good thing since so many people look at me like I have two heads when I say I'm on Atkins.
My father thinks low-carbing is making me mentally ill (what a joke). He thinks I shoul do low-fat like him but I have PCOS and infertility so what works for other people doesn's work for us! Right ladies?
I gave up on the baby thing for the past year (it was overwhelming me) but I'm ready to get serious again. I agree with you all that losing weight is the first and most important step in the baby making direction. I wish you all the best!0 -
Hi ladies! I'm glad you started this thread. I KNOW there are other people out there with PCOS struggling to conceive, but I swear I never meet them! It's nice to not feel so alone sometimes. My hubby is so ready to conceive (and so am I), but my doc says I have to get under 200 lbs before my likelihood of conception and the safety of carrying a baby to full term is possible. I haven't tried any fertility treatments because right now I'm just focusing on the weight loss, but I feel like it'll never happen. I hate being the one with the problem. I feel like I'm letting my hubby down.0
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I know the feeling. Don't think like that just keep positive and focus on the weight loss. my husband and I have been trying for 10 years... and two failed IUI's .... and I was just handed another dignoise of a form on endiometriosis..... the complicated one.... anedyomiosis.... (something like that). I still am not going to give up. Don't you give up either..... keep swinging and dropping weight and it will be there for you.0
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Thanks for the encouragement Tamicejl. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm not familiar with that. Nonetheless, positive vibes your way too.0
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Hi ladies just wanted to say I too suffer with PCOS and was told at 16 I had a 20% of having bb's. After losing 100lbs on here I am now pregnant and due early Feb 2014.Please know that food is power and it does heal! I ate as healthy and in moderation of the "not so healthy" foods and walked everyday. It took me about a year and half but sure enough once I hit the 101lbs lost I got the positive preggo test, which by the way was totally unexpected since we had stopped "trying". Please stick with it and now it CAN happen!
Baby dust to you all!!
xo0
