I am coming to this small, Christian group area of the Boards, hoping to share something that has me hurting today...something that continues to upset me.

This morning, I read a comment on MFP friends status. Her words were 'training for life'. Those words struck a cord in me. It made me realize that MFP is not just for counting calories, losing the weight, reaching a goal and going back to the old way of eating.

That thought and the recent number of posts about going out and eating on special days led me to make a blog about 'special days' or 'free days' or weekend parties and drinking which can undo the work of all the other days. It seemed safe enough, but I made a BIG MISTAKE. I copied my blog to the open Community boards. What happened next was a nightmare.

At first, the comments were just negative..."You do it your way. I will do it mind." The posts progressed to ruder remarks, including some profanity. Then, the most horrible thing happened. My friend read my post and assumed it was my judgement of her, which was the farthest thing from my mind at the time. She responded to the post in anger and out of mispreception of what I had written. She immediately personalized my comments, which were not meant as any kind of condemnation of her.

My friend's attack was fierce and distorted what she knows about me. She wanted to hurt me, and she did...not just her cruel words but the fact that she chose to unfriend me in that post. I wrote a message to her, apologizing for any offense or hurt that she had taken from my post. I tried to explain that the post was not about her or condemning her; but she responded with more anger.

I hurt someone today. I didn't mean to hurt her, and I certainly didn't want to lose her as an MFP sister. Now, I just feel sick about it. I forced myself to eat a meal supplement bar in place of my lunch and afternoon snacks, because I just didn't want eat anything. I know that I cannot do that. I can't just stop eating, because I am upset.

Yes, I prayed. I prayed, before I wrote my message to my friend. I prayed for her, when I got the angry response. I prayed, before I came here to ask for your prayers.

That horrible post which was meant to be helpful has grown to 4 pages of venom, with people expecting me to defend myself from the angry words of my former MFP sister. I can't and won't respond. That would only add to her hurt and encourage more venom, with more people taking sides. That would only make the post more popular with the folks who enjoy tearing people apart.

The one thing that I do know. The open community boards are NOT A SAFE PLACE to post your thoughts. I never imagined so many people would be so ready to attack me. The only safe place that I thought I could come and ask for prayers of peace would be here. I also ask for prayers to end the hurt and pain that my friend is feeling...perhaps, even some realization that I do love her and never meant the post as criticism of her. I also would like prayers for me to accept that I can't change what has happened today.

I just feel sick to my stomach, and I know that I cannot go back to the open boards again. It isn't safe.