People Assuming You are Straight
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i like having the opportunity to make people consider their initial reactions and expectations. and if they start to see that what they expect isn't always what is, even better.
YES!!! ^^^^ THIS!
Is is very easy to forget, or be simply unaware of how young our process of societal change is. Tow or three generations of gays have worked VERY hard for the standing we enjoy today, and we have have a responsibility to continue changing hearts and minds every day.
Don't be mad that people are making assumptions; be glad to have the opportunity to challenge their assumptions, and be PROUD of your identity EVERY day.0 -
Don't be mad that people are making assumptions; be glad to have the opportunity to challenge their assumptions, and be PROUD of your identity EVERY day.
This.............100% this a thousand times over0 -
yeah, I get that a lot too. People just assume, because you look very, very girlly. You are straight. I diont discuss it anymore with people. I just let them see for themselves.0
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Don't be mad that people are making assumptions; be glad to have the opportunity to challenge their assumptions, and be PROUD of your identity EVERY day.
This.............100% this a thousand times over
This! I'm more concerned with the black people (im mixed my mom is a mostly white mut that fell in love with a black man) that don't care if I'm queer but give me the side eye because my gf is hispanic. Its sort of frustrating. I want to tell them that I wasn't aware that as a queer mixed person I was automaticly reserved for other mixed and black people. I love women no matter their skin color. But all I do is give them a raised eyebrow.0 -
as I work with the general public as hairstylist in the bible belt, it works to my advantage that people assume I'm straight. I'd rather not invite further discrimination upon myself... especially considering how much my state represenatives hate people who are different. I know I sound like a coward, but I'm not interested in losing my job. Most people who would cause me problems are the people who assume I'm straight. I've got enough working against me because I'm an ethnic minority and non-christian. My partner has been attacked and survived. Tell me what good can I do by dieing? I am more useful alive.0
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See my avi? Guys still amazingly assume that I'm straight...0 -
It bugs me too, but I don't tend to advertise that I'm bi. Although when I hate when i'm talking to someone and refer to my fiance as she and they try to correct me...
them: hahahaha you mean he
me: no ... she
them: you're fiance is a woman?
me: last time I checked...
but I can always check again!! 0 -
I am currently not in a relationship, and am attracted to men, so it doesn't annoy me when people assume I'm straight.
But I do feel like sometimes people forget about bisexuals, and assume that because I'm attracted to men, that's only who I'm attracted to.0 -
There is a great spoken piece by Levi about the plight of the invisible femme.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q7IzwUa_kI
I often feel invisible to the LGBT and straight community. While my butch girlfriend is always known and seen. It can hurt my feelers sometimes, but I know who I am and eventually they will figure it out too.0 -
@MsMarlaMae I just watched that video, and it's amazing! I seriously love it. Even cried a little at the end. Thank you!0
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alot of people are confused on why i'm gay yet have a kid...
I kind of stare at them and make them figure it out lol...
But I only tell people if it comes up in conversation.. i don't freely walk up to people and be like .." hi i'm dani and i eat my gfs vagina on a regular basis" lol0 -
feminine presenting lesbians are in an empowered situation to help break stereotypes of gay women. .. i like having the opportunity to make people consider their initial reactions and expectations. and if they start to see that what they expect isn't always what is, even better.
YES! Thanks, Wendy. I never thought of it quite this way, and I feel empowered! :drinker:0 -
Hilarious!!I get no end of pleasure in the following, which happens with some regularity
Random third party phone call solicitor: "Hello may I speak to Mr. [my husband's last name]."
Me: "He's not in at the moment, may I take a message?"
Them: "May I speak with Mrs. [my husband's last name]?"
Me: "You are."
Them: ....0 -
I have this a ton too. Most of the people I have dated have been female or trans, and I am bisexual or pansexual or whatever, but I ended up marrying a cisgendered guy and we have kids. Plus, we live in the suburbs which are extra obnoxiously heteroassumptive. Its not the life I would have predicted I'd end up living, to be honest, but its a great life for me, and that's the main thing.
I'm a pretty private person in general and I don't really relish making a show of my identity and I am so super sick of "educating" people, but I try to do so insofar as I am comfortable. I think it's probably pretty good to do in terms of society and stuff. Like, if we want to eventually not have to do that, or have some future generation not have to do that, we're unfortunately stuck doing it some now. But hey -- my generation (I'm 35) has it so much easier because of the much more difficult crap the generation before me was brave enough to endure and do, so I try to pull my weight even though I almost always feel waaaay grumpy about it.
Congrats on your engagement! I hope everything is awesome on your big day. I threw out my back two days before and could barely walk and if I had had any painkillers it would have been almost like the wedding from 16 Candles except in the woods in Vermont with the owner of the land getting stoned and shouting about how we had to consummate the marriage and accidentally wrong playlist got turned on post ceremony the first song that played was a really dirty punk song which I think only my grandmother actually noticed, but it was still super fun.
Anyway -- super relating to your annoyance, and the reasons behind it, but don't let it pressure you into the closet or anywhere else. Being who you really are, and telling it like it is, is always a huge PITA, and always worth it.0 -
It's nice to hear someone else rant about this. Like you said, just because I am femme, doesn't mean I'm straight.0
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For some reason, people think my partner and I look alike. We don't see it, but maybe all 50's guys with glasses, white beard and bald all look alike.
In March we were flying through LAX for a weekend in Palm Springs, when this lady about our age approached me as our luggage was coming in on the carousel. She commented on how much we looked alike. Then she asked "is he your twin brother".
"Nope. He's my lover".
I'm not sure if the paramedics got there in time to save her or not.
But we were gone by then anyway.
It happened again today. We were out shopping and the clerk asked if we were brothers. What in the hell is it that makes someone ask a stranger if they are related to the person they are with? I just told her we were partners this time and moved on. But this is getting really annoying. It's happened far too often. Just an annoying little thing we put up with I guess. But it does get tiresome.0 -
Im marrying a man, but I am Bisexual and have been my whole life.
Im not very "girly" per se but im not butch either.
I work in Law Enforcement and everyone who is here knows what my orientation is. Im the LGBT Program Manager too so they figure it out that way, and the men I work with all seem to love Bisexuals and Lesbians. Im very vocal about my LGBT program at work and used that as a way to out myself at work and show my support.
My family on the other hand has no idea that I am bisexual.
My own daughter that I raised to be open minded is a 16 year old homophobe which really sucks for me.
My fiance is extremely supportive of me though, which has allowed me to be more open, only I dont talk to my family about it. Other thanmy very vocal support of LGBT Issues and Rights.
I guess the way I see it being Bisexual is the best of both worlds. I wouldnt have it any other way.0 -
In my world everyone is gay... period. I feel that the only reason we have straight people is to have them babies. I even had that as a movie idea a few years back. A community where everyone is gay and the straight people are used in factories to make babies. I call it The Procreators. People just don't know what they like until they try it. Now no I am not judging straight people and Im not telling them how to live but be honest aren't you just the least bit curious? This side is a bit tempting. We've got rainbows, butterflies, parades, and some pretty sexy people. Besides chicks can do anything a guy can but a whole lot better :happy:
And for guys I guess guys do it better
I wouldn't know but I dont want to seem sexist either. 0 -
I actually do that (say inappropriately personal gay related things in a convo) in an obnoxiously loud way so that everyone around me hears. :bigsmile: LMFAO I think straight people make the funniest reactions and faces. I live in a more open and accepting state than some do of course (Connecticut). So I understand why some can't be -that- open. 0
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In my world everyone is gay... period. I feel that the only reason we have straight people is to have them babies. I even had that as a movie idea a few years back. A community where everyone is gay and the straight people are used in factories to make babies. I call it The Procreators. People just don't know what they like until they try it. Now no I am not judging straight people and Im not telling them how to live but be honest aren't you just the least bit curious? This side is a bit tempting. We've got rainbows, butterflies, parades, and some pretty sexy people. Besides chicks can do anything a guy can but a whole lot better :happy:
And for guys I guess guys do it better I wouldn't know but I dont want to seem sexist either.
Good movie idea. I always wondered what it would be like if the majority of the world was gay.0
