Anxiety, Depression, Flip out relief ideas?
nan199678
Posts: 140
Hi Mommas. I'm kinda hoping for some ideas on how to calm down or boost my mood during this pregnancy. With my first daughter I was home alone during the day & I'd have a glass of wine if I started struggling w this. (I discussed w my midwives & am not debating wine w pregnancy here) This time I spend my day w my daughter & a couple other kids that I babysit. So drinking isn't exactly appropriate. Nor would it really help as usually I would enjoy it w a little peace & quiet. So what now? My midwife wanted me to take a daily med to help but I don't & won't. The fast acting stuff I've used in the past isn't safe w baby. Today I just found myself staring in space wishing I were anywhere else. I'm not totally opposed to having a glass of wine in the evening but I'm really trying to watch my calories. Any help would be great & please remember that I'm surrounded & responsible for kids so I can't just take a bath or a walk.
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Replies
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First off, *HUGS* Total empathy here! This is my 8th baby, and I have an anxiety disorder, so I can really get where you are coming from. My youngest is about to be five, and I spent the last few years getting my anxiety under control, and I really underestimated how difficult pregnancy was going to be, especially not being able to drink or take my meds.
(BTW, no judgement from me on having a glass of wine. Studies have shown that drinking in small amounts is not harmful, and might even be beneficial. It's just that nobody knows exactly how much is safe, so nobody feels comfortable recommending it. As for me, if one glass of wine helped me relax, I would TOTALLY do that. Unfortunately, it takes me more like three or four, so I don't.)
How old are the kids you are watching during the day? Do they take a nap? Is there a safe place where you could let them play only semi-supervised, so you could read a book or something? Would it be possible to take them on a walk with you? For example, if you had a wagon they could ride in, then you could walk and relax and not worry about holding onto hands. Or, if you have a bike and a big enough bike trailer, you could take them for a ride.0 -
I set up a totally childproofed playroom with a gate on it and a bazillion toys and I sit in there and zone out on pinterest or whatever on my iPad while the miniature(s) wreak havoc around me. It sort of helps? Everyone gets different stuff out of different activities... I have anxiety disorder and panic disorder but not as many children to deal with. Kudos to you for taking so much on and trying to think of appropriate ways to balance yourself out. I'm totally interested to hear what kinds of things are working for people and I hope you find a good answer here.0
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Have you ladies found that your anxiety is just horrible early in the pregnancy? I am almost 11 weeks and my anxiety has been horrible. I tried googling it but everything is about anxiety regarding the pregnancy (miscarriage, birth defects etc.). I do worry about that stuff but I worry about EVERYTHING else too. Work, my older child, and just stuff in general. I read that hormones in pregnancy (especially early) can make you anxious.0
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^^ YES my anxiety was AWFUL in the first trimester. I think the nausea made it 100x worse. Now that I am 25 weeks it is pretty much gone for now.
I don't take anything for anxiety even when not pregnant because medication makes me MORE anxious in the beginning and I can't seem to make it past that initial phase.
My advice-
Magnesium- Natural Calm (I get it off Amazon) every night
Omega 3s- I assume you are taking DHA, add flax seed and salmon to your diet
Exercise- as much as you can. NOT OPTIONAL. Take the kids outside and run around with them. Put on dance music and have a dance party with the kids. You might feel silly at first but I promise you will laugh!!
Sleep- Set the environment. Try light yoga and meditation for at least a few minutes before bed. Find a light-hearted book to read before you fall asleep (no iPad, laptop or TV for an hour before bed)
Take a bath before bed- use lavender oil/soap (I like Dr. Bronners)
Talk therapy
Diet- Cut way down on processed foods, up the vegetables and fruit
^^^ All of these things can be done during times you are not watching the kids. If you take pre-emptive measures it should help you during the rest of your day.0 -
The exercise thing is true. I've kept up with my same routine (half hour weights and a half hour on the elliptical twice a week) and a walk at least once a week so far. But I missed a few days due to the 4th of July holiday and then it was way too hot to be walking (under heat advisory). And I felt awful. It feels so much better to be back to my routine.
I'm wondering if you could get to a park while you're watching the kids? You could get a little walking in and they can amuse themselves on the playground equipment. Or just being outside in the sunshine could be helpful.0 -
Have you ladies found that your anxiety is just horrible early in the pregnancy? I am almost 11 weeks and my anxiety has been horrible. I tried googling it but everything is about anxiety regarding the pregnancy (miscarriage, birth defects etc.). I do worry about that stuff but I worry about EVERYTHING else too. Work, my older child, and just stuff in general. I read that hormones in pregnancy (especially early) can make you anxious.
YES. Only for me it's not just in the beginning. Something about pregnancy amps my anxiety up to 11, and not just because I can't take my meds. You know how pregnancy can cause really vivid dreams? Mine are all nightmares -- every single night. Not all horribly scary, mostly just discomfiting, but still.
Like PPs said, the two things that make the most difference for me are exercise and getting outside. I walk with my kids to the park or the pool almost every day, and that helps. Sleep is important too, but I find that I struggle with sleeping too much. It's best to find a way to relax in the evening (I spend some quiet time with DH), and get to bed early, and then get up early. If I let myself sleep in too much, I wake up feeling like I've already ruined my whole day.
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Big hugs to you!!! As an obsessive, high strung and prone to anxiety type A kind of person, I can feel your pain. I used to medicate and self medicate occasionally (love me some wine!), but have found a lot of good ways to manage the anxiety that are more pregnancy friendly, so I figured I would share what has helped me.
I do regular yoga every morning and evening, with a longer practice once per week. It does a LOT for me by bringing me into the present a bit, which I am not naturally good at. I tried meditiation, but never could get the hang of it. I discovered hypnosis though and I swear by it!! I am currently doing the Hypnobabies home study program and it is killing two birds with one stone by helping me relax and sleep as well as prepare for birth. The program I used before for insomnia was a free phone or tablet app called Relax Completely, by Darren Marks. It is free, so worth a shot, especially if you have any sleep issues and it is a great introduction into hypnosis.
I second the physical activity and getting outdoors as much as possible. That is hard to do in a Florida summer, but I make an effort and am sure to work out at least 4-5 days per week. It very literally keeps me sane. I had to take last week off due to a cold and noticed an increase in my anxiety. I also make a concience effort to eat "clean" and really fuel my body. This is especially important while preggo.
I avoid people and things that "fire" me up while I am pregnant, too Sadly, one of those is my mother who suffers from Bipolar disorder. I have had to distance myself from the drama of others to protect myself, but it has been worth it.
Talking to people who may understand is also helpful. Mommy boards can be a great place for that. Trading massages with my husband in the evenings and taking some time to myself here and there has been a real life saver, too. Amazing what a 10 minute shoulder rub or a warm bath can do!0
