Yay new people!

Hi all,

I have been around for a long time. I lost the weight. I reached my goal. But then I had nothing to obsess over and I didn't know what to do. Then I broke my foot and later needed breast surgery for what turned out to be a benign papilloma. Bottom line of all that...

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be happy....I wasn't.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be content, feel less crazy...didn't happen.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be nothing bad would happen to me...it wasn't true.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be able to control myself around food...I couldn't, the old obsessions came back.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be more in control of everything...I have no control, especially other people (nor should I :embarassed: )

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that my marriage would be better....it didn't fix communication.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be hot and love my body....I still focused on the flaws.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that I would be loved more by others...didn't happen...still couldn't really love my real self....loved my "new" self...but it didn't feel like it was really me...it felt fake.

I thought that when I was skinny, active, and fit that shame and guilt would be part of my past...it didn't leave.


So bit by bit I have put some of that weight back on...very slow...but that is how I lose as well....very slow.

I need more help in this area.

D