Handling Change
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Terri_Wickwire
Posts: 149 Member
Tonight my almost 17 year old daughter purchased her own iPhone 4S with the income she has been earning through her new job! This is thrilling, exciting and scary as all heck. Tomorrow we take her paycheck and open her a checking and savings account -- including debit card. :noway: My baby is growing up and I can't stop it -- nor do I want to. It takes both of us into a new era of her growing independence and my continuing efforts to guide, nurture and teach her that Life is all about choices. Crap. LOL Almost $300 gives her a different perspective on life I'm thinking. I love it, yet there is sadness too.
Other changes are occurring in my own body as I become cleaner and cleaner around my food. My face and neck are thinning pretty quickly and I can easily pull almost any pair of pants I own down over my hips -- without unbuttoning or unzipping. Soon I'll need a belt to hold up anything that doesn't have the "standard issue" waist tie. It's pretty freaky weird. I find myself wondering now what it will feel like to not rest my arms on my stomach when I read, or feel comfortable fitting into any chair without being concerned that my @ss will get stuck. When I finish logging my food at night, I read things like "If you continue this route, in 5 weeks you will weigh 223.6 lbs". HOLY GUACAMOLE!! I haven't weighed THAT in like a decade or more!!! I have a totally cool pair of heeled brown boots I bought early this year -- $110 marked down to $27 -- that are too tight cause my feet are too fat. I tried them on the other day and they still don't fit :laugh: But that's ok because I now know that they may -- or may not. My feet just might not be able to wear that style. So they'll end up on eBay
And it's really ok either way (but I really do 
those boots).
My husband will be needing to change his job and move our family down to the Central Valley of California by this time next year; we'll be living apart during the week for a while during the transition, so that my daughter can finish her Senior year of High School. While I'm nervous, I am more excited -- other than when I was six years old, I've lived from San Francisco to Santa Rosa. More change.
My husband was home this morning during the time that I now do my 30 minute quiet time; I sit on my porch amidst my growing plants and read For Today & Voices of Recovery and then do my writing. My whole day has been thrown off by that, and my food has been a little whacked because of it. But -- I have choices. I can do my yoga (which I really want to add in on a daily basis anyway) and increase my calories if I'm hungry; or I can have more water (since I'm short anyway) or I can finish eating my dinner, which did not have any of the vegetarian choices I eat now (why did they get rid of the Garlic Eggplant anyway??) and be OK with the fact that I'm over on my calories. Because of taking my daughter to get her new phone, I also missed my meeting. But, Mom-dom is a priority for me, so here I am, talking to you.
Change is inevitable. Without change we wither and die. I used to wither and die because I ate until my stomach was ready to explode and the food was backing up to my throat. Now, when I go to bed, I can lay on my stomach and not feel like puking, my body is hydrated and happy. I sleep differently and my body feels completely different when I wake up in the morning. It's really pretty cool.
My abstinence is avoiding compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a normal body weight. I don't know yet what that weight is cause I've been "here" for so long. Sometimes, too, putting these types of thoughts and feelings down can trigger the desire to stuff my face. But I feel ok. I've come too far, released too much to step backwards today. After all, it's just for today that I need to be concerned. And I can always say "Hey God, I'm really in a pickle and need your help." Yeah, change is good.
:flowerforyou:
Other changes are occurring in my own body as I become cleaner and cleaner around my food. My face and neck are thinning pretty quickly and I can easily pull almost any pair of pants I own down over my hips -- without unbuttoning or unzipping. Soon I'll need a belt to hold up anything that doesn't have the "standard issue" waist tie. It's pretty freaky weird. I find myself wondering now what it will feel like to not rest my arms on my stomach when I read, or feel comfortable fitting into any chair without being concerned that my @ss will get stuck. When I finish logging my food at night, I read things like "If you continue this route, in 5 weeks you will weigh 223.6 lbs". HOLY GUACAMOLE!! I haven't weighed THAT in like a decade or more!!! I have a totally cool pair of heeled brown boots I bought early this year -- $110 marked down to $27 -- that are too tight cause my feet are too fat. I tried them on the other day and they still don't fit :laugh: But that's ok because I now know that they may -- or may not. My feet just might not be able to wear that style. So they'll end up on eBay
And it's really ok either way (but I really do those boots).My husband will be needing to change his job and move our family down to the Central Valley of California by this time next year; we'll be living apart during the week for a while during the transition, so that my daughter can finish her Senior year of High School. While I'm nervous, I am more excited -- other than when I was six years old, I've lived from San Francisco to Santa Rosa. More change.
My husband was home this morning during the time that I now do my 30 minute quiet time; I sit on my porch amidst my growing plants and read For Today & Voices of Recovery and then do my writing. My whole day has been thrown off by that, and my food has been a little whacked because of it. But -- I have choices. I can do my yoga (which I really want to add in on a daily basis anyway) and increase my calories if I'm hungry; or I can have more water (since I'm short anyway) or I can finish eating my dinner, which did not have any of the vegetarian choices I eat now (why did they get rid of the Garlic Eggplant anyway??) and be OK with the fact that I'm over on my calories. Because of taking my daughter to get her new phone, I also missed my meeting. But, Mom-dom is a priority for me, so here I am, talking to you.
Change is inevitable. Without change we wither and die. I used to wither and die because I ate until my stomach was ready to explode and the food was backing up to my throat. Now, when I go to bed, I can lay on my stomach and not feel like puking, my body is hydrated and happy. I sleep differently and my body feels completely different when I wake up in the morning. It's really pretty cool.
My abstinence is avoiding compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a normal body weight. I don't know yet what that weight is cause I've been "here" for so long. Sometimes, too, putting these types of thoughts and feelings down can trigger the desire to stuff my face. But I feel ok. I've come too far, released too much to step backwards today. After all, it's just for today that I need to be concerned. And I can always say "Hey God, I'm really in a pickle and need your help." Yeah, change is good.
:flowerforyou:
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Replies
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Good morning sunshine :flowerforyou:
Yes they grow up. I had three boys, and they all moved out pretty close to the same time. Two of the three moved back with me at different times, but now all have their own families and are all doing well. And your daughter will love her iPhone! I am a lover of Apple Mac products. :laugh:
Hopefully you will eventually fit those boots you But if not, you will be able to bless someone else with them. What a gift!
Changes can feel hard, but what is the saying? The only thing consistent in life is change? :bigsmile: And you said that move will be "this time next year." So, no need to worry about it today. Try to stay in the now. Turn it over to your HP. I do that sometimes too, but find when I stay in the now, man life is so much easier, go figure, LOL.
Life happens eh? Yesterday I was upset about some things going on at work, so last night I listened to one of the Vision For You OA meetings on my phone (audio), and did some step two writing. That certainly helped get my head back on straight.
Hope your day is a HP filled peaceful day today.
Patti0 -
This morning I was back on track with my Quiet HP Time -- reading, writing, drinking my coffee and sitting on my front porch amidst the splendor of my garden. Quite good. As the angst began to arise I reached for my phone and may 3 calls -- 1 to an OA anchor, 1 to my Sponsor, 1 to a struggling member. Call 1 answered, Call 2 Returned my Outreach, Call 3 is with HP.
Went to the store to do clothes shopping for my husband and was HALTed from purchasing the one thing I wanted -- cause the entire shelf was almost entirely empty. How's THAT for God At Work! Came home, made hubby's lunch to send him off and as I did, considered what I wanted. I'm working towards being a vegetarian, but after 56 years of eating the "other" way, don't beat myself up for choosing a meat sandwich -- which is what I had for lunch -- loaded down with spinach. Getting ready to down some more water and then get more done on organizing my house -- which keeps me busy and mind off chatter. Picking up the kiddo to go do her Big Girl Banking. Then she'll probably spend the night at a friend's, which will leave me in quiet time until my man returns about 11:30pm.
I'm just really looking forward to the Celebration tomorrow being over.
:flowerforyou:0
