Gastric ByPass/VSG/LapBand

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kvandeman
kvandeman Posts: 527 Member
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I live in a house that right now has three adults other than me and a two year old. The two older children are visiting their grandparents for the summer. Why am I, the one that just had a RNY and can't eat the one that has to cook dinner? I can't even taste it to see if it is seasoned enough. Is it asking too much for them to help? I know that I have to eat different but what the hell? Others feel put out that I haven't decided on what to eat. Nothing even sounds good to me. They think that just because I am not hungry it is ok for me to do all this.

I told them if they didn't decide on something tonight then I was just going to randomly put things in a pot and make them eat it. It was going to be the grossest things I could find in the fridge. So they decided on sweet and sour chicken. I called 3x for someone to come taste the sauce (homemade) to see if it was good. Nobody came. Tough **** on them. I quit. I will stick to my protein shakes and if they go hungry I don't care they are grown adults. I will make sure my daughter is fed and that is it.

I am going to go cry in the shower now. Sorry for the rant.

Replies

  • Agate69
    Agate69 Posts: 349 Member
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    Bingo, adults need to be responsible for feeding themselves, and deciding what to eat and when to eat. Give your daughter the attention she needs, and give yourself the time to heal. Tomorrow I celebrate 40 years of marriage, for 30 years I pretty much decided what everyone in the house was going to eat, how much to eat, did all the shopping, all the cooking and all the planning. I heard a sad story 10 years ago, a wife of a friend died suddenly leaving her DH alone. Because he did not know how to cook, how to shop, how to decide what to eat, he almost died..... Yes he stopped eating and started drinking....

    Dh and I decided that it was time for a change. Is he perfect? Not hardly, but he can make several healthy things and even makes me my morning shake. Do not fear change, embrace it
  • happpyhappyjoyjoy
    happpyhappyjoyjoy Posts: 44 Member
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    I know it's hard but I wouldn't worry too much about the seasoning- it they want it to taste good they'll come. If not, they get what they get at meal time. Don't stress about it. If it tastes gross then they'll come running to taste tomorrow night when you ask. I know it's hard in the early days of surgery but things will get (somewhat) normal soon as you can add the foods. Like you said, just focus on you and your daughter and let the others deal with it! Hang in there :smile:
  • steffyp01
    steffyp01 Posts: 34
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    One of the hardest things I had to realize in my 22 years of marriage was to learn to take care of myself. Even though it is not in our nature we have to let our husbands and older children take some of the responsibility of taking care of themselves. You need to focus on yourself and your baby right now. I have a husband, a 23 yr old, a 20 yr old and an 8 yr old. What I did was stock the house with things THEY can cook. If none of them want to cook then they can have a sandwich, no one in this house will go hungry. I just had my lap band done on 7/15 and let them all know that I'm focusing on my healing right now and you have to help out. So far it has been fine. I really hope things get better for you. Sounds like it might be time to push back a little.
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
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    My sons are 20, 22, and 23 and knew that they would be taking care of things at home for a while. They are not strangers to this because I have had surgery before and they had to fend for themselves. First time, they were left home alone for 5 days they were 13, 15, and 16 and they did just fine. They learned to cook early and can make plenty of things for a family. My two younger sons work about 38 hours a week and are full time college students and my oldest is disabled, but does 90% of the housework at home. I have been blessed. They appreciate me (most of the time!) and when I don't feel like cooking or am out of commission they are great at stepping up. They were taught that it is a man's duty and responsibility to know how to take care of a home and respect women--down to standing up when a woman enters a room and treating her like a lady deserves to be treated. Old fashioned values that you don't see very often anymore. Yep. I'm blessed that way. I sometimes don't realize that everyone doesn't have that.

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