Seeing in others, what you do yourself
danamariers
Posts: 155 Member
Yesterday I had an "A-ha" moment (no- I did not enter a world where I was chased by men wielding a plumber's wrench and everything was drawn/sketched), I saw that I did not care for something that another person said, reacted internally, and then realized I was guilty of the same thing. Well played universal forces.
I was idly chatting with a lady I work with who is such a sweet lady. We were talking about the weekend, and gardening and trying to keep up with the weeds that grow like the end is near. I said something casually like, "well at least they can be sprayed to help keep them down." And then it happened. She (unconsciously) made a disapproving stink-face and said, "oh well I don't spray. I don't believe in it. It's unnatural, is harmful to the environment and there are healthier ways of dealing with them."
The conversation carried on- neither of us mentioning that she disapproved of spraying, while I have been known to spray weeds a few times in the year to keep them down. Then we parted ways and I began walking to catch my bus. I thought about how I didn't like that judgmental face, I didn't like that she gave me a mini-lesson on what is good and what isn't for the environment and I didn't like that she couldn't just keep that crap to herself because I was only trying to make idol small-talk.
*forehead smack* I then realized I was guilty of the same thing. I have made faces at my family and friends when they cite that they're having healthier side dishes like whole grain bread or brown rice and I do the same thing, often accompanied by an eye-roll. I make a face, cite references to insulin-resistance, blood glucose levels and what not even though they didn't ask, aren't interested, and the fact that if they want to eat a loaf of bread that's their business and their bodies.
Lesson learned for me: If I don't like hearing other people\s opinions on why what I do is incorrect or inferior, why the F would anyone want to have me do that to them about food/exercise?
Happy Saturday all!
I was idly chatting with a lady I work with who is such a sweet lady. We were talking about the weekend, and gardening and trying to keep up with the weeds that grow like the end is near. I said something casually like, "well at least they can be sprayed to help keep them down." And then it happened. She (unconsciously) made a disapproving stink-face and said, "oh well I don't spray. I don't believe in it. It's unnatural, is harmful to the environment and there are healthier ways of dealing with them."
The conversation carried on- neither of us mentioning that she disapproved of spraying, while I have been known to spray weeds a few times in the year to keep them down. Then we parted ways and I began walking to catch my bus. I thought about how I didn't like that judgmental face, I didn't like that she gave me a mini-lesson on what is good and what isn't for the environment and I didn't like that she couldn't just keep that crap to herself because I was only trying to make idol small-talk.
*forehead smack* I then realized I was guilty of the same thing. I have made faces at my family and friends when they cite that they're having healthier side dishes like whole grain bread or brown rice and I do the same thing, often accompanied by an eye-roll. I make a face, cite references to insulin-resistance, blood glucose levels and what not even though they didn't ask, aren't interested, and the fact that if they want to eat a loaf of bread that's their business and their bodies.
Lesson learned for me: If I don't like hearing other people\s opinions on why what I do is incorrect or inferior, why the F would anyone want to have me do that to them about food/exercise?
Happy Saturday all!
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Replies
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Thanks for sharing this! In my circle talking about ones diet is like discussing religion or politics. When I used to eat Keto I got so much flack and lectures on how I'm hurting my body by not eating a balanced "healthy" diet. Arghhhh, I had to stop talking about it because it pissed me off. Now when I'm questioned I just tell them the truth, I'm a type 2 diabetic and I'm cutting out grains and foods that raise my BG. They seem to get it and leave me alone.0
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Awesome post. A very honest place. Yes I get very judgie myself. I usually simply pass on stuff but when someone asks a second time, then I say, sorry I don't eat poison :-)
Lol. My friends are used to it and actually ate now starting to slowly change what they eat. Sometimes I am a bit of a joke to others about my nutrition because I am so strict, but they all are jealous of my continued results. When I had new found knowledge, I wanted to share.. I evangelised. That didn't work. So I shut up... Now a year later, I get the occasional, so how bad is rice for me and how does it compare to wheat, or so is all artificial sweetener bad?
Lead by example, bud judging is a natural reaction.0 -
Ahhh! I've noticed myself doing the same thing recently! I've been trying hard not to take a judgmental view of their choices, and to accept others' criticisms without internalizing them, but it's really difficult sometimes. I've pretty much stopped talking about it among my friends because no one truly cares what I'm doing, and only have opinionated responses to everything I tell them. I'm open with them when they ask, but I've stopped initiating the conversations.0
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Most of my friend groups are really mixed in diet and I also don't bring it up any more. I get annoyed with Vegans say eating meat is evil and I don't want to be that person to someone else. Diet arguments have turned into an annoyance and I've started to finally get smart enough to ignore them. Especially the ones on MFP general forums! Wow, some of those are intense.0
