Sleep patterns

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RBXChas
RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
Hey,

I'm having a bit of an issue... It's not bad enough to buzz a doctor about, just annoying, and I thought I'd see if anyone went through anything similar. I'm at a loss experience-wise because my older son slept through the night by 6 weeks, but I think part of that was because he was mostly formula-fed (100% FF at night), which keeps babies fuller, longer (breast milk is digested more easily and thus faster, which generally leads to longer sleep intervals).

This time, my son (who EBFs) slept really well from the start, as in he would have regular stints of sleeping 5 hours at a time. I never had that total zombie feeling like I did the first time! My dad (a pediatrician) and our local pediatrician both said that was fine as long as he was pooping enough (a sign that he's eating enough) - basically, babies need to eat a certain amount each day, but the "when" of their eating is less important than the "how much." In other words, if he eats more during the day, he's more likely to eat less during the night and thus wake up less.

Anyway, this great sleep schedule has slowly deteriorated since birth 8 weeks ago. The last 5-hour stint I got was almost 3 weeks ago, and that was a rare occurrence at that point. Basically his sleep stretches went down to 4 hours but usually about 3 hours. My son was really restless and gassy during the night. I figured out that I had an oversupply and a hyperactive let-down that was causing a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. So for the past week and a half or so I've been block feeding, and it's helped a lot with the gassiness/fussiness and engorgement. However his sleep patterns have not improved.

At six weeks he was waking up every two hours, which lasted about a week, and then he jumped up to every three hours for about a week. Then the other day right before he hit 8 weeks, he went back to being up every two hours and has done that for the past three nights. He's not up being gassy anymore, which is great, but he's still up wanting to eat. At most he's got a little pee in his diaper, so it's not like he's waking up because he needs to be changed. The only upside is that he wakes up, I'll change him, then he eats and goes right back to sleep.

Point being, his sleep is not improving at all. Even when he's not in the midst of the 6- or 8-week growth spurt, I'm still waking up with him multiple times a night. Considering at the beginning I'd only get up a maximum of twice a night with him, I'm really frustrated and tired!

Has anyone else had this issue where sleep actually got worse like this? Did you change anything up or just wait it out? How long did it take to resolve?

They say 80% of babies sleep through the night by 12 weeks, which is less than four weeks away, and I'm feeling down thinking my baby will fall in that 20%. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's hard to see it right now. I just wish he were six months old already with more of a set schedule!

Maybe I was spoiled the first time... I do remember, though, that my older son started sleeping through the night out of the blue, as in, I woke up one morning and was shocked when the realization hit that he hadn't woken up at all. I'm praying that happens, and soon!

Sorry this is so long, and thanks for reading! Part of this is my need to vent (especially because my husband doesn't get it because I have to be the one to get up every time due to our EBFing), but I would also like to hear your experiences.
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  • chickybuns
    chickybuns Posts: 1,037 Member
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    It sucks he is getting up more regularly now. Miles would sleep about 7-8 hours around 2 months, then about 10 weeks (when I went back to work of course) he started waking up to eat around 3/4, but it only lasted a month and now he usually sleeps about 11 hours....but maybe once a week he will get up to eat still. So hang in there, babies are unpredictable. But it is good he just eats and goes back to sleep...Miles is the same. Hope you get some longer stretches of sleep soon!
  • mellynat
    mellynat Posts: 345 Member
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    I know how you feel! None of my 3 kids slept through the night especially as infants.. My 2yr old is still waking up & coming to our bed last few months. My 3rd is 6months old and is still walking up 2-3hours a night and it has been that way since she was born.. It's worse when she goes thru a growth spurt. She is also EBF. She was in the bassinet next to us up until 1-2weeks ago. And i'm a total zombie now that i have to get up from the bed and walk to the other room to feed her. NOt sure what to suggest other then wait it out. It will get better.. maybe once he is old enough to start solids it will help keep him fuller at night. Good luck
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Our 2.5yo sleeps through the night and has for a long time. It's rare that he wakes up during the night and can't go back to sleep on his own. Even when he was six months old, maybe he would wake up once, but it was uncommon (maybe not rare, though).

    I really want to move this little guy to his crib but don't want to do that until he's sleeping longer. I don't want to get up to walk across the house, etc, multiple times a night on a regular basis. It's so much easier when he's right there to do a quick change (if needed) and feed. He eats plenty during the day, so it's not that... I am so tempted to give him formula at night to help him sleep, but I'd have to get up to pump to support my supply, so it's pointless, plus it costs money, I'd have to prepare and clean bottles, etc.

    I'm almost half wondering if putting him in his crib would help. He doesn't cry in the middle of the night; he just stirs enough for me to realize he's waking up and rooting. So perhaps if he were in his crib, he'd go back to sleep, but I'm waking him up unnecessarily. Who knows? I guess I won't know unless I try.

    I'm just frustrated, I guess. (Not frustrated to the point of doing anything bad, don't worry!) It's also hard because he wakes up between 6 and 6:30 and doesn't go back to sleep at that point, so I'm not getting to sleep late. Today he slept until 7:45 (as did our older son), which would have been awesome if I hadn't been up with him at 12, 2, 4, and 6!

    Anyway, let's hope this passes with this 8-week growth spurt! Thanks for your input, ladies!
  • MrsCarter00
    MrsCarter00 Posts: 502 Member
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    I have a different situation but I can relate to the lack of sleep! From 6 weeks on when we went straight to formula at night (now he's only FF) he's been a FANTASTIC sleeper and would sleep anywhere from 8-12 hrs before waking up until about the past month. He's 7 months now but I think he hit the 6 mo growth spurt and his top two teeth are trying to come in and he's getting uncomfortable sleeping in his swing so he's been waking up so much!!!! He has pretty much always slept in his swing but now that he's bigger he's uncomfortable in it so we've been trying to slowly get him out of it instead of just letting him CIO. So this past month has been trying to say the least! He's starting to sleep better/longer now in bed with me but has still been waking up at 1 and 5 to eat..I'm not really sure if he's hungry or he's just eating to eat. It doesn't matter how much he'll eat at 1-1:30 he still wakes up around 5 to eat again!

    I hope your LO's sleeping pattern straightens out and you're both able to get some good rest! (Hugs!)
  • Jillsie11
    Jillsie11 Posts: 249 Member
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    How much is your baby sleeping/eating during the day?? I know this isn't a popular option, but I always woke my child from naps to make sure they were staying on the eat every 3 hour schedule. It sounds counter-intuitive, but the more they sleep/eat during the day, the better they sleep through the night.

    I followed a schedule, and it worked for us. Both my girls slept through the night from 7 weeks on, and they were exclusively breastfed.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    He really doesn't sleep well during the day. If I'm lucky, he will nap for an hour in the morning, and usually I get 1-2.5 hours in the afternoon with the occasional short nap in the evening (~30-45 minutes). He eats all day long, so there's no issue of his not eating enough during the day. I'm also doing the block feeding to make sure he gets the hindmilk to keep him full.

    ETA that with my older son I kept him on a schedule, and it worked. However it's a bit easier with formula because he stayed more full, and I couldn't just whip out a boob if he was being fussy.

    Do you think I should try and schedule him to eat every three hours rather than on demand (not counting his growth spurts)?

    Also, his bottom teeth are coming in, which might have something to do with things. (I know, it's super early but, believe me, unmistakeable.)
  • jls8209
    jls8209 Posts: 450 Member
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    How much is your baby sleeping/eating during the day?? I know this isn't a popular option, but I always woke my child from naps to make sure they were staying on the eat every 3 hour schedule. It sounds counter-intuitive, but the more they sleep/eat during the day, the better they sleep through the night.

    I followed a schedule, and it worked for us. Both my girls slept through the night from 7 weeks on, and they were exclusively breastfed.

    ^^ I did the same, and Rose started sleeping 10pm - 6am at 6 weeks old (and soon moved to 10pm - 8am, then 8pm - 8am). However, she is my first and it could very well have been luck. I won't know until we have another!

    You mentioned Joseph is sleeping in your room, is it possible you/DH are unintentionally waking him? Maybe he hears you guys move/snore/etc? Or it could be he's hit a growth spurt, or maybe he's not eating quite enough to keep him satisfied for longer each time he wakes?
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Hmmm, I am liking this scheduling idea. I felt like because I am BFing that I am supposed to feed on demand.

    I sleep downstairs with him, and my husband, son, and the dogs (on the bed with my husband) are all upstairs. It's very quiet down here, and I sleep lightly. I know nothing else is waking him because it would wake me up before he does.

    I know he's hitting a growt spurt now, but in between the 6- and 8-week spurts he didn't sleep well, either, unless they're overlapping. Otherwise when he wakes up I make sure he eats a complete feeding (at least 10 minutes), which can be tough because a lot of times he starts to fall asleep after 3-5 minutes.
  • kcasey155
    kcasey155 Posts: 968 Member
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    If he goes straight back to sleep after feeding I wouldn't worry too much about him. It IS hard on you not getting decent blocks of sleep though, I know as I've ebf four already. I would look at increasing his feeds throughout the day though. There are different things you can try. Look at his daytime eating and sleeping pattern. Being so small he may have two of three good blocks of sleep during the day and you should see if you can whittle them down a little with more stimulation and play. Also if he falls asleep when eating during the day maybe try keeping him awake a little longer so that he eats more. Try getting his feeds up to 15mins a time if he's only eating for 10mins a time for example. Or make sure he feeds from both breasts before nodding off. Perhaps make sure he's eating more frequently, like every two hours during the day instead of three. And don't be afraid to wake him for feeding during the day. Also make sure you count those trips in the car and buggy if he nods off when moving, most do!

    At night when he wakes can he immediately see you if he opens his eyes and know you're there? This can help if he's waking for comfort. Does he have a toy/blanket/comfort item in bed that is with him wherever he sleeps? Do you keep a nightlight on or is he in complete darkness? Is there sunlight coming through the curtains or do you have blackouts? Does he wriggle out of his sheets when asleep? Might he be better in a baby sleeping bag? Might white noise or a radio on low throughout the night help? Do you pick him up as soon as he wakes/cries? I would usually try and give it a minute or two before picking him straight up. Do you talk to him/pet him when he's feeding? I would limit all stimulation when he wakes in the night. And I wouldn't change him if he was only wet unless there was a risk of the nappy splitting or leaking.

    Essentially, every child is different and you may have to experiment a bit until you find out why he's waking so often. What happens during the day has a great effect on what happens at night. Is it just comfort he's looking for, just to know where mum is? Would he sleep better somewhere else or would you co-sleep? I hope it doesn't take you too long to work it out. I feel for you! If nothing else it WILL get better with time, as he grows and his tummy can hold more and as he feels more secure in the outside world without constant contact. Good luck.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    He really doesn't nap well during the day and eats constantly. I feel like my entire day is spent entertaining him. The only time I am almost guaranteed a nap is in the car, and I definitely count that as a nap! I think the nighttime things you mentioned might be an issue. He can see me whenever he wakes, and to keep him from starting to cry, I grab him immediately when he wakes up to tend to his needs. I keep interaction to a minimum at night so that he eats, gets burped, and goes back to sleep, but I put the TV on (very low) and have the lights on (no dimmer) to keep me awake and not tripping over things when I get up to change his diaper. In his room the lights have a dimmer, I have blackout shades snd curtains, and I have a setup for music for him. The two nights a few weeks ago when I tried to move him to his crib, he would fall asleep nursing and then wake up at the slightest noise because it was dead silent in there. He never liked swaddling (he always broke free in 10 seconds flat), nor does he like a pacifier (my older son hated swaddled and pacifiers, too). I don't have him sleep with anything for comfort for safety reasons.

    I really do think that once he gets through this growth spurt, I will be feeding him more fully and on a schedule as well as moving him to his own room in his own crib so that if he does wake, he at least gets a chance to go back to sleep.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    He whips his arms out, then kicks his legs out, of a swaddle in less than a minute :( I wish that were an option!

    I will check into that sheep, though!
  • momRN2B
    momRN2B Posts: 247 Member
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    From my experience with my 2 kids I found that they sleep much better when they are not in the same room as you. Otherwise they see you, smell you, sense you.... and want to breastfeed. Thats pretty much all i can offer. Good luck...it will get better.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Last night was better! He fell asleep at 9:30 (about normal for him) and woke up at 12. That made me sad because I figured we'd be up every two hours. Nope! He woke up at 3 and again at 6:30, so the last two stretches were a bit better. He was still nursing a lot this morning and is napping now (he had two 1/2-hour naps this morning). Depending on how he does after his nap with wanting to eat constantly (growth spurt), I may or may not try him in his crib tonight. If not tonight then probably tomorrow night or Tuesday night :) I think that sucking it up and putting him in his own room may be the answer.
  • Jillsie11
    Jillsie11 Posts: 249 Member
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    I'm glad he slept better last night!!!

    Yah, I breastfed both my babies exclusively, and did it on a schedule- every 3 hours towards the beginning, then 3 1/2, now about 4. It's worked great for us, but I know that each baby is different and responds in his/her own way.

    I'd try putting him in his crib more often, and a bit more of a schedule. Lots of women feel it's not necessary to do so, but in my own personal experience, babies really crave that consistency:)

    Good luck!
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Oh, also, I'm buying the Cloud B Sleep Sheep brand-new in-box from someone (non-smoker, no pets) off Craigslist for $5 tomorrow :) It's $22-$30 new, so it's a steal! I just decided to check for it cheap there, and she'd posted it today! For $5, if it doesn't work for us, no big deal.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    He cluster-fed all afternoon and evening yesterday, so we slept downstairs again. He fell asleep at 9:15 and was only up at 2:15 to eat and then 6:15! It was glorious! (Well, it would have been more glorious if I'd fallen asleep earlier than 11:15, but that's another issue...)
  • Jenny_Rose77
    Jenny_Rose77 Posts: 418 Member
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    He cluster-fed all afternoon and evening yesterday, so we slept downstairs again. He fell asleep at 9:15 and was only up at 2:15 to eat and then 6:15! It was glorious! (Well, it would have been more glorious if I'd fallen asleep earlier than 11:15, but that's another issue...)

    Because of my health issues, in the beginning, we had a baby nurse, who insisted that G be on a schedule (of pumped milk and formula). He slept 3-4 hour blocks but never longer. Once I got him back to EBFing (around 6 weeks), I noticed he would cluster feed in the evening (6-8pm), but then sleep until about 3 or 4 AM (so, 7-8 hour stretches). Sadly, this is still his pattern (to wake once in the night), but sometimes he does sleep through the night.

    It's funny because I am the daughter of a man who spent nearly 40 years in the Air Force (which is to say, the love of a schedule is bred into me), but I would be afraid to put G on a schedule (mainly a fear of what that might do to my milk supply). Plus, I like having the ability to sooth him that way when he's being fussy.

    ETA: That I feel like I've had better luck getting him to sleep longer stretches by feeding on demand versus when we were feeding on a schedule. I re-read what I wrote and felt like I wasn't being clear. (I'm not sure this edit got me any closer to it either! My brain is mush right now.)
  • kcasey155
    kcasey155 Posts: 968 Member
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    I'm glad things are getting better for you! I agree about not sticking to a schedule. I would just feed as much as he wants it, just make sure he's offered food often during the day. For example, make a point of sitting down/offering it one or two hours after the last feed when he's awake throughout the day and you should continue to have better nights, even through growth spurts!
  • laurab1217
    laurab1217 Posts: 123 Member
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    I'm having similar sleep issues......at the beginning I went through a few weeks of him staying up all night. He would fall asleep breastfeeding then wake up as soon as he was put in his crib. My son has never liked his bassinett so he went straight to his crib the first week and has always done better there. Around 5 weeks he started going to bed better and would wake up every two hours to breastfeed. I tried everything to get him to sleep longer.....What helped a lot was keeping everything dark when I put him in his crib (except for a lamb night light) and putting on a CD of lullabies. But he never liked to be swaddled (he would also get out of it). I even tried formula right before bed but he refused to take formula...it actually made him gag and he spit it up everywhere. Around 6 weeks he started sleeping for 4 hours, followed by a couple of two hour stretches. The four hour stretch got longer every week, and last week he slept for 7-8 hours a few times! I was so excited!! Except now he is also teething so I think it is making him wake up more often...and now he is back to waking up more frequently.....unless it is a growth spurt maybe? He's ten weeks going on eleven weeks. My son also doesn't like napping during the day. He falls asleep, then wakes himself up immediately....it's like he wants to see everything that is going on....I know he is eating enough because he's a big boy (he was 16 lbs 5 oz at his 2 month check-up).
  • kcasey155
    kcasey155 Posts: 968 Member
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    10 to 12 weeks is definitely growth spurt territory and can co-incide with the start of teething and jabs, so it's not too surprising babies don't sleep well over this period. Is your child more prone to sleep when moving? In which case it might be advisable to invest in a little motorised baby swing for his naps. I managed to pick mine up for about 2 dollars off ebay, so there are bargains out there. Or will he sleep when strapped to you in a carrier? Then at least you have your hands free and can get on with stuff while he's asleep. At night you may have to get him into the habit of going into his crib awake, rather than letting him fall asleep at the breast. The other alternative is that he sleeps with you, but then unless you want him there for the next two years you may not want to start this habit. And when he does wake at night let him cry for a few minutes before you go get him, sometimes they learn not to bother if they're not getting picked up right away. Clingyness is a phase they go through when there's lots going on and it's easiest not to fight it, but work with it as you don't know if it'll last for weeks or months. Sometimes it's about teaching him you'll still be there no matter how long he sleeps for and just building up his confidence to sleep, sounds weird but you did say he doesn't like to miss anything.