What are your binges like?
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bunjijk-Firstly, I think that all of us supporting each other is a great step in recovery!! It gives us a safe place to vent and share our thoughts and ideas on how to cope with binges. You can also see if there's any nutritionists or therapists that specialize in eating disorders in your area. I know that this is not an option for everyone. You can also check if there are support groups in your area, I've heard of overeaters anonymous-not sure what they are like. I'm going to look up some online resources too. I quickly googled and found this: http://bingeeatingtherapy.com/2012/03/04/top-ten-online-resources-binge-eaters/. Let me know if there's anything interesting in it
I think we should all share ideas and resources that may help us. 0 -
A slow burn. They rise and then they just layer and layer and layer.
First, I'll be doing good for the day then my mind will go through about 70 different attempts, all unique, to rationalize eating a chocolate bar or some bread. (I'm a ketoer). I fight it most of the time but by a few days It's screaming at me, so I give in. And then it's like an avalanche. Ever seen those cartoon snow balls in avalanches that just grow as they roll down the hill? It's like that. First the chocolate bar, then the bread, then a bowl of chips...and then two bowls of chips. Juice. Ice cream. And I go to bed feeling sick as a dog, mad at myself and convinced that due to my self sabotage everyone who wants to lose weight can lose weight unless they happen to be me.
It's a pretty brutal cycle.Trying to kill it for good, though. I'm too secular at heart for something like FA so I run a board on Reddit for food addiction. The support and camaraderie helps immensely.0 -
I binge both when I'm alone and when my husband or other people around. It's only because I have normal weight and one wouldn't be able to tell that I binge/or when they see me eat so much, I make a joke about how funny I am eating all the stuff. My binges start with convincing myself: "I'll eat only this one piece" and then, when the piece is eaten I can't control myself anymore - automatically I just eat more and more and more. I usually start with a cookie, ice cream or something sugary, then eat fruit (in attempt of stopping the binging - sometimes apples help), then I make sandwiches, then probably eat some instant noodles or some kind of a soup or something fast to make. The food has to be easy and fast to cook - I wouldn't binge if I had to bake each time...0
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Thank you for sharing!!! I can totally relate.0
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I am really crazy with my binges. I usually do them alone and it usually involves take out food. I will eat the fattiest food ppossible- poutine, pizza whatever, and lock my door to my room and eat until I am in physcial pain and can't physically eat anymore.
I sometimes binge in public, eat a lot but its usually not as bad as when I'm alone.
and my triggers are any emotion or if I'm overly hungry0 -
This is hard to talk about... Even to myself. When I binge it's usually emotional. I prepare something quickly (it has to be quick for some reason) and gulp it down until I feel sick. Afterwards I feel really ashamed, yet it continues... I have recovered once before, but fell back after about a year. I found that chewing gum helped me control it a little since it gives the chewing sensation... That's about it...0
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With respect to what SM5246 said, I wonder how many of us were anorexic/bullemic at some point? As a teenager I was anorexic and then gained a lot of weight fast, and I see my binge eating as just the opposite extreme. IT seems like everything I do is "all or nothing". When I really want something, I'll work so hard to be the best. With food and binging, I figure that once I start the ball rolling, I might as well go all out and start over tomorrow. However, when I'm in my full binge mode, everyday I'm starting over. I'm so anxious for my husband to leave. It's like I'm encouraging him to go to class or go out with his friends so I can have my binge. I often feel somewhat proud and deserving of the binge while it's happening. It relaxes me. Afterwards, I just feel so sad, and this has really been worse in the past year. My gosh, I'm 45 years old and have been struggling with this for almost 33 years!
However, I have recently tried a new approach, which seems to be working (for at least 3 days, but hey, it's a start)! My son has been diagnosed with autism, and a treatment called applied behavioural analyses is used to correct/change his behaviours. IT's been amazing, but it is a slow process. Essentially, a behaviour is broken down into it's smallest components and worked on with only positive reinforcers....NO NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT.... AT ALL! For instance, the act of brushing your teeth requires several small steps such as getting the toothbrush out, putting paste on, water, brush the mouth, spit, etc.... you get the point. Each act of toothbrushing is worked on individually and rewarded individually, then combine. So, with weigt control & binge eating I have decided to attemp the same process. It seems rather "lofty" to say that I'm not going to binge, and frankly quite scary. So, I'm breaking my eating into small goals. Right now, it's just recording everything, and my positive reinforcer is 2 squares of dark chocolate with tea at the end of the night. For some reason this does not give me a craving & is very satisfying. A few new tops is my long-term goal if it's maintained for 1 week.
So for, so good...my outlook & mood is so much better. I'm not scared by the aspect of "being perfect" on my quest to stop binging (which is typical of anorexia). Rather, I'm looking at my small successes and plan to build upon them. But finding that positive reinforcement is key.
I hope this wasn't too lenghty. It really helps to write out my thoughts, even if nobody is listening, it's just therapeutic. Thank you!
I was also anorexic. I actually still swing between restricting and binging, and I think that's why I binge so much. I go just a bit over my calorie limit, so then I freak out and restrict a ton. That always leads to a binge because my body is in need and because I am mentally exhausted from lying to myself about not needing food. Then I freak out again mid-binge and it starts all over.
Your method sounds very good! I do similar things, but I'm usually not able to pull through because my ED thoughts tend to get in the way.0 -
My name is Miranda and I can reate to all of you ins ome way or another. Here I am thinking that I am alone, but really I am not.
Most of my binges start in the afternoon/evening. I stand alone in the kitchen and just start eating. I am an emotional binger, happy binger, let myself get too hungry binger, stress binger, celebrate binger, anxiety binger....I will binge all the time. I counteract calories with a lot of exercise. I want to one day learn how to exercise normally and eat normally. I am working on it......any tips and any supportive friends would be really helpful. You all seem like a great group of people!0 -
This is all too familiar. I swear I would be at my ideal weight if binging wasn't a problem for me. I never do it in the midst of company. I wait till I am alone and let the festivities begin. I usually go for peanut butter, mass amounts of candy and really any carb I can get my hands on. I think it stems from our childhood. Think about it, if you had a bad day at school your mom would give you a cookie to feel better. If you did well at something, food was often a treat. I find I eat emotionally when things go really well or really bad.0
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Hi there, I'm Rachel. Wow, everything sounds so familiar here. Mainly my binges consist of sugary food, carbs. Ridiculous amounts. Cookies, cakes, ice creams, pies, etc. And keeping these things out of the house doesn't work, because I bake. If I'm craving, and don't have what I want, I make it. Stupid, right? Why even start baking when you know that you're just going to eat the whole thing, then regret it? Brilliant. Ugh, so frustrating, but I've been dealing with this since as long as I can remember, gotta keep moving forward. I look forward to getting to know everyone.0
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I used to be a very healthy weight but society taught me that wasn't good enough. I started to starve myself and lost quite a bit. I got a boyfriend and things changed, i started eating again but eating too much. I started binge eating and put on almost 20kgs in a very short time. I've been eating better this year and have managed to loose 10kgs. I'm wanting to loose the other 10 but my binges have started to come back and i'm really scared i'm going to gain all the weight back.
It's like i have a trigger that goes off as soon as i eat something slightly unhealthy. I think well today is ruined may as well eat everything else. It's like i eat for the sake of eating.. i know it's bad for me so i do it, and think tomorrow will be better so i will eat as much as i can today. I just crave the full feeling. Which sucks because i never feel full. You may think thats impossible.. but i can literally stuff myself with food all day and not feel full. I don't understand it and i hate it because well.. i binge. I'm also a secret eater, i i eat in my room/car a lot. I binge a lot on candy and chocolate late at night with chips. And when driving i feel the need to be eating something. I hate binging
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Mine were always after 6pm and it would always be until into the wee hours of the morning. I never really binged on cookies/candy...I always went for the pasta/breads/popcorn/rice! I was a huge carbohydrate addict!!!! I would be FINE all day long...I'd even exercise, but when it came time for me to settle back and relax I would eat like there was no tomorrow...and I'd get SO SICK from it!!! I'd have to take an antacid before going to bed!!! Talk about horrible!
Then... after the binges... I'd start crying. SOBBING actually. I'd hate myself, wanting at that point to just commit suicide because what good was I? Oh man... those are the darkest moments of a persons life. Every single time I binged I'd feel so guilty and just couldn't stop crying...sometimes I'd cry for hours, then I'd end up on the floor begging God to please end this cycle of hate for me!
I've been binge free for 9 days now...and I never want to go back to that place in my life again. I absolutely feel for people that DO have this problem and go through what I went through. A really tough road.0 -
Binge normally strike because of emotional reasons, stress, or boredom ... It stinks because I wanna learn how to SIT with my feelings without feeding myself physical stuff and deal w. my mental stuff instead. The healthy way that is *
Before a binge, I'll chew gum nonstop. One after the other, convincing myself I'm not hungry and I dont need to eat anything else because I just ate a meal. OR I'll think of what my therapist/nutritionist have said to me to prevent one and think why do I wanna eat etc. Then it just HITS. I'm in my room alone and sneak downstairs to where my snacks are and grab a bunch, mostly pretzels, crackers, granola bars are my LOVE during a binge. I just sit and eat and play freecell and eat. I get mad if someone walks in my room, calls me in the middle, or notices I'm eating .. just eating in general. I repeat in my head how I shouldnt be doing this, but I started so finish. Then I think how my boyfriend just called and I skipped it - I think. WHY didnt you take that call and stop. You could have save yourself calories and all the guilt and the lies to say why you missed the call in the first place. :ohwell:
I just love and hate eating. As a recovering anorexic / bulimia and now struggling with diet pills and binges, it just sucks afterwards. I think how I used to be SOOOO good at restricting and now I suck and eat nonstop. Then I realize how I know we need food BUT goodness gracious NOT AS MUCH AS I CONSUMED just now. Then I get triggered to take pills to counteract the binge. It's a cruel vicious sick cycle. I try so hard not to make myself sick and just normally FORCE myself into work if it happens before work or if its late at night [like normally] I force myself to sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow.
HOWEVER, I'm learning to be a better friend to food and not see it as the enemy. I eat my daily allowances and well, struggling to get back to the gym REGULARLY. I think once I get some control IN MY LIFE, I'll be able to better let go of the binges and the feelings of HIGH I get during it. I sometimes wish I didnt have my own room because then I wouldnt have the advantage to be alone and do what I want -even though I really dont have control when in a binge. :huh:
I feel like being THIS open is making me soooo vulnerable so I hope you all arent judging me
I get scared really easily being this open, but I feel the first step in BECOMING CLEAN is being as honest as possible and seeing how I feel with my binge and being honest with others who I believe can relate.
Good luck to everyone and keep up the good work as you all work to be binge free :flowerforyou:
I SO identify with you. You basically just described me!!
I need to learn to be more kind with myself and not keep hurting myself. We can be free!!:flowerforyou:0 -
Yesterday I woke up so tired only a few hours of sleep because my daughter wakes me up in the middle of the night every day and then I cannot go back to sleep.
I have a 45 minute commute and all I can think of is stuffing my face with food but at the same time thinking, I can choose not to go. Just do not pull off the freeway. I don't have to do this. This isn't necessary. Remember I am thinking of food differently now and fast food and processed is not an option anymore.
Then I go to the donut shop and buy $9 worth of donuts and sausage rolls. I take them back to the car thinking, just because I bought them, I don't have to eat them. I can throw them in the trash or put them out for other people at work. This isn't necessary. I don't have to do this.
Then I say, yes I do, and proceed to eat every single thing I bought plus the free cinnamon roll the donut lady put in, right there in the parking lot outside the donut shop.
That is usually how it happens.0 -
I hate to admit but I tend to eat little bits here and there from the time I get home from work until I go to bed. It is like a constant graze. The little bit here and little bit there adds up to a large amount of food for my 5'3" body.0
