More self-conscious eating in public post-surgery?
Lissa_M
Posts: 131
I am finding that it is harder for me to eat in public post my RNY than it was before. I guess because I was fat, it didn't bother me what people thought of how much I ate, etc. Post surgery I am finding it harder and more uncomfortable for me to eat in public. Usually I have to explain to the wait staff that I want to order off the children's menu (I have a little card from my surgeon that requests they allow me to order off the kid's menu since I have had RNY). Of course since I can't drink within 30 mins of eating, I don't order a drink which usually gets an odd look. Then when my food arrives I usually pick at it slowly and don't ever finish all of it, which just makes me feel more self-conscious.
Anyone else feel this way?
Anyone else feel this way?
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I have a card my WLS program gave me but to be honest I never use it. I just order off the reg menu or get soup or an appetizer and have that (usually 1/3-1/2 as my meal). It is just less hassel and embarassing I feel than showing them the card and explaining it all to them. I have noticed more the insane amount of food people eat than anything. I realize I was also one of those people packing in that food too. It almost makes me sick how much food we eat or is put on our plate now. It's an eye opener for sure!0
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Forgot to mention, I always ask for water with lemon also when they ask about drinks. I might not even drink any of it but that is better than them bugging you about a drink during the dining experience I have noticed. I also ask for a to go box too, never get any funny looks about that though. My boyfriend always kids me about the to go box. Last time we ate out on last Fri we shared a meal. It was one of those Japenese Hibacti places. They give you an insane amount of food. It cost me $6 to share his meal but I got my own soup and salad and then just had a bit of rice, noodles, shrimp, and scallons from his huge plate. If I would have got my own meal I could have taken enough home to eat 7 more meals at least off it!0
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When we go out to eat, I usually order something small--if they don't have something that I can accommodate, I eat what I want and either share with my sons (they are 20,22, and 23) or get a to go box and take it home. I go ahead and order water, though it goes untouched unless my sons drink some. I'm not embarrassed. I do what I need to do and don't worry about everyone else. I have a full time job worrying about what I do. Let them stare. LOL0
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I have not yet had the joy of eating out since my surgery. This weekend though my hunny and I are taking a road trip and he is worried about what I can eat. I told him that I can find something wherever he stops. He can be sweet.0
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Last night we went to Chilli's. I ordered the chicken bacon ranch quesidillias and ate 2 of them. Asked for a to go box. I have found the food on the children's menu is crap and I am no longer feeding myself crap. I would rather throw it away than put that stuff in my new body. I can usually make 3 meals off 1 restaurant meal (crazy, I know). At 380 pounds I could finish my meal, eat a salad/soup before maybe an appetizer and then be ready for dessert. Know, I do good to eat a third of my meal and I am satisfied. I never knew what that satisfied feeling was until my surgery. It's amazing the amount of food people (and my former self) eat.
Be proud. I am sure people were looking at me scarfing down all the food before I had surgery, if they are looking at me now, maybe it's going to encourage someone else to watch what they eat. I have found that my family eats less now instintively. I have made a change in their life too.
Good Luck!0 -
I have also not had the privilege of eating out since my surgery...
Thanks for the tips!
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I too continue to be shocked at the amount of food that is "normal" to most people. Knowing how much we learn about portion sizes (although to be fair we don't eat a typical portion either post-op), it is amazing to me how society has come to expect such huge amounts of food as normal.
I order a water upon arriving at the restaurant too, although sometimes I do have to have a sip with a meal because I don't produce enough saliva to help with chewing and swallowing. We haven't gone out nearly as much as we used to (my ex and I would go out one or two times a week!), so it has become more of a treat than it used to be. I always think to myself that I will order something that may not be the best food choice but since it's such a rare thing, it will be okay, but then I get there and see something (like grilled fish) that just sounds delicious and I end up getting the healthy thing anyway. To go boxes are almost always a must, except when my whole family goes out - then my kids usually end up finishing their food and mine....0 -
1) Order water -- they always harrass the crap out of you if you don't order a drink. I find it is far easier to just let the water sit and not drink it then to continually tell the waitress that you are all set, thanks.... :drinker:
2) If you can - try to avoid the kids menu. FOr one, you pay insane amounts for tiny amounts of food. I find most places have a children's menu consisting of chicken nuggets, hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. If I am going out to eat, I am not paying to eat that! :sick: I order off the regular menu, and then I have three meals to take home after I eat! LOL
3) Order an appetizer if you can find one that appeals to you. The sometimes have the same options as appetizers minus the fries and extra sides. It is cheaper and you get a managable amount of food (still end up taking home a lot of it though!)
4) I used to feel quite badly when the waitress would come over and inquire as to whether "everything's alright?" when I left 3/4 of my meal on the plate. Now I smile and say, "It is wonderful. I'm taking the rest home!" :happy:
5) Honestly, after four years, I am becoming much more aware that most people are not even looking my way let alone worrying about what I eat. I am sure, when I was 400 pounds they were far more concerned about what I was eating then they are now! At most, if they happen to even notice, they assume I am just another health conscious dieter.
I'm sure you are doing great! WOrry not about the rest of them... they'll find someone else to look at
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I do feel a little guilty, not ordering a beverage, no appetizer or dessert, and often splitting a meal, so I usually make up for it by tipping extra. I feel bad for the wait staff, ordering as little as I do these days. But that's really the only part that bothers me.0
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I have no qualms about using my "children's menu, please" card . . it took me ONE post-RNY trip to a restaurant to realize that absolutely no one is looking at me - or watching what I order/eat. As long as the restaurant is okay with an adult ordering off of the children's menu - I call ahead to find out - I'm ready to roll. Perhaps it's my age (sixty-four in a few weeks), but *guilt* around food choices/plate and utensil size/bite size, etc. is not an issue - it's nobody's business what I order/eat - or why I make the choices I make. If someone at a neighboring take is curious - that rarely happens - I'm happpy to explain - I love when that happens because it gives me an opportunity to promote the value/blessing around weight loss, the surgery and healthier eating habits. Eating out is a treat for me - most of my meals are home-centered . . when I DO eat in public, I enjoy the meal, the company and the "ambience" . . lookie-loos (if there are any) aren't even on my radar.0
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I do eat from the children's menu, but only if the food is quality!
Most often I get a small cup of soup,asking them to avoid scooping just noodles from the bottom of the pot.
If I end up ordering a full meal, and just end up picking at it, usually in the case of fried greasy foods, and if I get asked if there is something wrong, usually I am blunt and say it is too greasy or too salty, or too ugh, big a portion of unhealthy food, I say so, and often do not get charged. I then tip the waitress what would be a excellent tip, after all I have enjoyed the company of friend, and have usually had a couple of bites of protein and a couple of green veggie bites.0 -
May I ask when did you have your surgery I have mine on Tuesday0
