Crabs in a bucket

CipherZero
CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
Anyone else have to deal with the ones purportedly on your side being your worst nightmare once you're getting /fit/ter? Jesus Christ, I thought someone would be on my side.

What bull**** have you gotten, and how do you counter it?

Replies

  • They have no power over your sucess - honestly ignoring them is the best idea and if you're pretty frustrated you could simply disprove them, because both you and them know the truth that You > Them.
  • Sesaza
    Sesaza Posts: 49
    they jealous brah. acquire aesthetics, they are mirin on the inside
  • Move to Australia. Everyone here is aesthetic. When they see your dedication they will want to do it too, that's what happened with me anyway
  • Forget everyone OP, haters gonna hate. People will always find ways to put you down, an average person doesn't understand the dedication we put into our training, dieting, and lifestyle. You'll have the last laugh bro.
  • Daguava
    Daguava Posts: 3
    The only tough interaction I've had to deal with is with my grandpa. I love the guy to death but he's extremely concerned with my loss of weight. Any time I'm over at his house, I'm always offered dinner, and I eat extra there to make him happy because he believes I'm starving. He's the definition of stubborn, so I know I can't change what he thinks, so I just deal with it. Things should be better once my first cut is done and I start putting on some muscle mass.
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    My huge crab in the bucket is my wife.

    Mind, I'm a manlet at five foot seven. At 188 pounds I was told:

    "You're losing weight too fast" - by going from 230 to 188 in nine months.
    "You look gaunt" - which is apparently what losing fat in your face is.
    "You're losing too much weight" - at 16 pounds shy of "obese" category.

    Last time is was her quite literally *begging* me to stop losing weight. :huh:

    I'm still not stopping, but god-damn it, something resembling a *little* encouragement or positive reinforcement would be nice.

    (also, down another pound this week while still enjoying n00b gainz)
  • falcynn
    falcynn Posts: 5
    My friends are mostly supportive, except one friend who's about where I was 2 years ago. He's always trying to pressure me into going out for beer, pizza, burgers, etc. with him and then makes fun of me whenever I workout. Good example was last night after I slipped up and ate 1000 calories worth of pizza (never realized 3 slices=over half my daily calorie intake).

    "Yo, JP, let's go to Buffalo Bill's and grab some burgers and hit the bars" (and yes, this was like an hour after we ate)
    "Nah man, that pizza sent me over, gonna try to work some of it off on the bike"
    "Well whatever then little *****, have fun sweating your *kitten* off on a Saturday night"
  • fitizengainz
    fitizengainz Posts: 7 Member
    My friends are mostly supportive, except one friend who's about where I was 2 years ago. He's always trying to pressure me into going out for beer, pizza, burgers, etc. with him and then makes fun of me whenever I workout. Good example was last night after I slipped up and ate 1000 calories worth of pizza (never realized 3 slices=over half my daily calorie intake).

    "Yo, JP, let's go to Buffalo Bill's and grab some burgers and hit the bars" (and yes, this was like an hour after we ate)
    "Nah man, that pizza sent me over, gonna try to work some of it off on the bike"
    "Well whatever then little *****, have fun sweating your *kitten* off on a Saturday night"
    I know that feel bro. Except it's with a friend of mine who's bigger than me. Because I'm looking more aesthetic he always says "you should just eat mcdonald's if you're trying to gain the weight or you don't need to workout just try and gain some weight first while he drinks beers to his hearts content and gains that belly fat. He's still stronger than me but I hope to achieve that natty physique with all that strongman strength to accompany it and finally be the /fit/ masterrace if my friends. Just keep going for the gold and know that the best show of success is being better than you were before. Progress!
  • I have this one friend who is quite big. Last year I had lost a lot of weight and got very thin, she didn't like this very much. She used to try and get me to join her on "chocolate breaks" during class and when I'd decline or tell her I'd come with her to buy stuff but she'd be the only one eating, she would keep trying to pressure me and guilt me into eating, even though she knew I was trying to diet. This happened daily.

    One time during the year I was very sick and was bedridden for about 2 weeks, I couldn't even muster up the energy to go downstairs. So as a nice gesture she came to visit me after college and brought me some homemade soup. She stayed and we chatted for a while, and after a bit she suggested that we should go for a walk to this really nice bakery to buy chocolate croissants and cake. Mind you this was an hour walk. I told her no because I could barely walk around my house, nevermind walk for a cake. She kept insisting on it but gave up after a while.
    20 minutes later, she suggested we order 2 large pizzas and have dinner. I just told her that she could order a pizza for herself but I wouldn't have any (seriously, weightloss aside, who the **** eats pizza when they're sick?). She then started this whole thing of "well if you don't eat then I can't either", trying to guilt me into eating with her.
    I stood my ground and said no. Lo and behold, 20 minutes later, she suggested we order chinese food. Again doing the whole thing of "if you don't eat I'm not going to either, I can't be the only one eating!". I was so irritated at this point I didn't care (who makes a sick person eat junk food?!).

    Eventually it got to a point that I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't dieting anymore for her to stop this ****.
    She's the only person who's ever done this kind of thing to me so I'm lucky everyone else in my life is ok (then again she is the only friend or relative I have who's this size either...)
  • fitizengainz
    fitizengainz Posts: 7 Member
    I have this one friend who is quite big. Last year I had lost a lot of weight and got very thin, she didn't like this very much. She used to try and get me to join her on "chocolate breaks" during class and when I'd decline or tell her I'd come with her to buy stuff but she'd be the only one eating, she would keep trying to pressure me and guilt me into eating, even though she knew I was trying to diet. This happened daily.

    One time during the year I was very sick and was bedridden for about 2 weeks, I couldn't even muster up the energy to go downstairs. So as a nice gesture she came to visit me after college and brought me some homemade soup. She stayed and we chatted for a while, and after a bit she suggested that we should go for a walk to this really nice bakery to buy chocolate croissants and cake. Mind you this was an hour walk. I told her no because I could barely walk around my house, nevermind walk for a cake. She kept insisting on it but gave up after a while.
    20 minutes later, she suggested we order 2 large pizzas and have dinner. I just told her that she could order a pizza for herself but I wouldn't have any (seriously, weightloss aside, who the **** eats pizza when they're sick?). She then started this whole thing of "well if you don't eat then I can't either", trying to guilt me into eating with her.
    I stood my ground and said no. Lo and behold, 20 minutes later, she suggested we order chinese food. Again doing the whole thing of "if you don't eat I'm not going to either, I can't be the only one eating!". I was so irritated at this point I didn't care (who makes a sick person eat junk food?!).

    Eventually it got to a point that I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't dieting anymore for her to stop this ****.
    She's the only person who's ever done this kind of thing to me so I'm lucky everyone else in my life is ok (then again she is the only friend or relative I have who's this size either...)

    eventually when you reach your goal, she'll hopefully get inspired. If not, may be time to cut ties if all your conversations lead to the junk food dilemma
  • I have this one friend who is quite big. Last year I had lost a lot of weight and got very thin, she didn't like this very much. She used to try and get me to join her on "chocolate breaks" during class and when I'd decline or tell her I'd come with her to buy stuff but she'd be the only one eating, she would keep trying to pressure me and guilt me into eating, even though she knew I was trying to diet. This happened daily.

    One time during the year I was very sick and was bedridden for about 2 weeks, I couldn't even muster up the energy to go downstairs. So as a nice gesture she came to visit me after college and brought me some homemade soup. She stayed and we chatted for a while, and after a bit she suggested that we should go for a walk to this really nice bakery to buy chocolate croissants and cake. Mind you this was an hour walk. I told her no because I could barely walk around my house, nevermind walk for a cake. She kept insisting on it but gave up after a while.
    20 minutes later, she suggested we order 2 large pizzas and have dinner. I just told her that she could order a pizza for herself but I wouldn't have any (seriously, weightloss aside, who the **** eats pizza when they're sick?). She then started this whole thing of "well if you don't eat then I can't either", trying to guilt me into eating with her.
    I stood my ground and said no. Lo and behold, 20 minutes later, she suggested we order chinese food. Again doing the whole thing of "if you don't eat I'm not going to either, I can't be the only one eating!". I was so irritated at this point I didn't care (who makes a sick person eat junk food?!).

    Eventually it got to a point that I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't dieting anymore for her to stop this ****.
    She's the only person who's ever done this kind of thing to me so I'm lucky everyone else in my life is ok (then again she is the only friend or relative I have who's this size either...)

    eventually when you reach your goal, she'll hopefully get inspired. If not, may be time to cut ties if all your conversations lead to the junk food dilemma

    funny thing is that this did happen. she kept a written journal and carried it with her... it lasted a total of a week though so I can't see it happening.
    i'd be delighted for her if it did but i think she's the type that sees discussing weight or dieting in general as taboo and prefers to ignore it.
    she's genuinely a good friend who will help you when you need it but when it comes to this... I just think she has issues about it.
  • Dat feel when I have friends that have been /fit/ their entire lives and are supportive of my goals

    I say do what you enjoy and **** the rest. Good luck OP I don't have anything wise to contribute because I have never been in your situation.
  • fitizengainz
    fitizengainz Posts: 7 Member
    I have this one friend who is quite big. Last year I had lost a lot of weight and got very thin, she didn't like this very much. She used to try and get me to join her on "chocolate breaks" during class and when I'd decline or tell her I'd come with her to buy stuff but she'd be the only one eating, she would keep trying to pressure me and guilt me into eating, even though she knew I was trying to diet. This happened daily.

    One time during the year I was very sick and was bedridden for about 2 weeks, I couldn't even muster up the energy to go downstairs. So as a nice gesture she came to visit me after college and brought me some homemade soup. She stayed and we chatted for a while, and after a bit she suggested that we should go for a walk to this really nice bakery to buy chocolate croissants and cake. Mind you this was an hour walk. I told her no because I could barely walk around my house, nevermind walk for a cake. She kept insisting on it but gave up after a while.
    20 minutes later, she suggested we order 2 large pizzas and have dinner. I just told her that she could order a pizza for herself but I wouldn't have any (seriously, weightloss aside, who the **** eats pizza when they're sick?). She then started this whole thing of "well if you don't eat then I can't either", trying to guilt me into eating with her.
    I stood my ground and said no. Lo and behold, 20 minutes later, she suggested we order chinese food. Again doing the whole thing of "if you don't eat I'm not going to either, I can't be the only one eating!". I was so irritated at this point I didn't care (who makes a sick person eat junk food?!).

    Eventually it got to a point that I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't dieting anymore for her to stop this ****.
    She's the only person who's ever done this kind of thing to me so I'm lucky everyone else in my life is ok (then again she is the only friend or relative I have who's this size either...)

    eventually when you reach your goal, she'll hopefully get inspired. If not, may be time to cut ties if all your conversations lead to the junk food dilemma

    funny thing is that this did happen. she kept a written journal and carried it with her... it lasted a total of a week though so I can't see it happening.
    i'd be delighted for her if it did but i think she's the type that sees discussing weight or dieting in general as taboo and prefers to ignore it.
    she's genuinely a good friend who will help you when you need it but when it comes to this... I just think she has issues about it.
    Yeah I feel ya, at the end of the day you have to weigh the pro's and cons of some of the people you hang out with. What I've learned to do is take a break from some friends when I can and just chill. Maybe focus on myself or something of the sort
  • My fiancee is driving me ****ing nuts. She is recovering from a shoulder injury/surgery, so she dropped muscle, but she still has low bodyfat, and before the injury was quite muscular. You would think that she would be supportive, but no.

    She busts my balls about how hardcore I've become regarding lifting and eating. She says I'm "obsessed," and comments how I always pick something to get obsessed over. My response is yes, I have new interests that I tend to get very into, but it isn't like I give them up once I find something else. I still race motorcycles, I'm still a competitive shooter. Anywho, that's just the tip of this iceberg of **** --

    So she always wants to go to the gym, but for her that is like 30 minutes on the elliptical. Whatever, we took two cars, she can go -- no, she'd rather stand around looking mopey and keep asking when I'm going to be done. This happened this past Friday. I told her exactly what I was going to do (lifts, sets, reps, etc) and when I would be doing it (leave my desk at 4:45, be on my bike heading home at 6:15.) So 90 minutes. At 6:00 she starts asking when I'll leave, I tell her that I am still on schedule [I am always on schedule], and that it will be the 90 minutes I said it would be. She throws a scene in the ****ing gym about me taking 2 hours and storms out.

    This is what I deal with. Oh, and if I hear, "I find you sexy the way you are," one more time I'm going to just move into the gym. I lift for the man in the mirror, not anyone else.