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POF ... did I miss something?

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raige123
raige123 Posts: 352
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I've been single for almost 7 weeks ... and I think I missed something being off the market for 8 months.

I'm on POF and I find it easier to txt people after a few messages rather than the constant back and forth on that site ... yet I have had more than 1 guy question if I am txting more than one person. Is it okay to question someone you just started talking to about how many other people they are talking to? I would assume we are all talking to other people ... it's a dating site and we're all looking for our ultimate match ... I just find it weird I guess that people are asking. And how do you respond to it? I've been floored and didn't really know the right answer.

Replies

  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    Answer honestly, but without bruising his ego. Just tell him that until you are too early in the "getting to know you stages" and that you are speaking with a couple men. Don't give him numbers, it's none of his business. If he's offended by this, he doesn't understand the rules of dating and will be nitpicking every step of the process. Step away quickly and then run. :)
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
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    Don't worry about it. If a guy asks me if I'm multi dating, I'm just honest. I'm not multidating at the moment but I was honest with they guy I'm currently dating.

    I thought you met a great guy a while back??
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    Answer honestly, but without bruising his ego. Just tell him that until you are too early in the "getting to know you stages" and that you are speaking with a couple men. Don't give him numbers, it's none of his business. If he's offended by this, he doesn't understand the rules of dating and will be nitpicking every step of the process. Step away quickly and then run. :)

    Agreed!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Hmmm! It's not a question I would ask, so I tend to think it's none of my business. Nor theirs.

    Why would someone make demands when they haven't even met you yet?

    Alternatively, just say 'yes, isnt that what dating sites are for?'
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Yeah just be honest, it's better to weed out the crazy people sooner rather than later. If they have a problem with you emailing more than one person at a time on a dating site than they probably have some issues and it might be best to stay away anyway. Or maybe they're just curious or making conversation but it's sort of a weird thing to ask.
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
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    I always just said yes and was honest.
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
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    Hmmm! It's not a question I would ask, so I tend to think it's none of my business. Nor theirs.

    Why would someone make demands when they haven't even met you yet?

    Alternatively, just say 'yes, isnt that what dating sites are for?'

    This. All day. :drinker: I just think it's creepy!! It's TEXTING!! :laugh:
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
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    Don't worry about it. If a guy asks me if I'm multi dating, I'm just honest. I'm not multidating at the moment but I was honest with they guy I'm currently dating.

    I thought you met a great guy a while back??

    Great guy turned out to have a girlfriend ... so not such a great guy.
  • azhcanedition
    azhcanedition Posts: 29 Member
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    Asking if you casually date more than one person at a time when it was never specified before hand, that's okay.
    Specific numbers, creepy as heck.
    Specifically asking about texting other guys when that's a completely understood rule of just starting to date, especially on a dating site where one shouldn't really need to ask obvious questions...


    R U N

    *Ahem*

    I'm more of a romantic, so I put up front that I only like to date one person at a time.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    What a childish question. From him, not from you.

    Tell him yes, but not as many as you're f*cking.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Just reply: "Not anymore" . . then never text him again. .

    Seriously. . how lame!. . it's a competition. A guy has to legitimately win by demonstrating quality, charm, and wit! Not by trying to limit the playing field.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    What a childish question. From him, not from you.

    Tell him yes, but not as many as you're f*cking.

    Love this! And then I would be sure to never text him again.
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
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    i think it's the insecure ones that ask questions like that.....
  • Showgirlbody
    Showgirlbody Posts: 402 Member
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    That happened to me all the time! I had some that said they weren't interested in competing and didn't want to meet or anything if I was talking to different guys. So I'd say "So, you want to be exclusive before we even meet?" It's a dating site. Generally you may fade out from one person if you have a stronger interest in another. But putting all your eggs in one basket is not healthy.
    I would say that you are single and though you are not a serial dater, you are communicating with guys that there is potential with until you meet one that you become exclusive with. I think some guys are afraid of wasting their time on girls that are just going around getting taken out by lots of guys and have no interest in them. But it's not fair for them to ask numbers or dictate that you cannot talk to other people until you have dated and mutually decided you no longer are on the market.

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