Overcoming Depression when over 300lbs

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I have recently started my weightloss journey again after having kidney problems that had me balloon up to 306lbs. Before my kidney issues I lost 90lbs then pretty much gained it all back. I am back on my weightloss journey again, but this time finding it hard to get motivated because of depression. I just feel so low and crappy about myself and just very ugly. Looking for motivation and just support while I kick this weight.

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  • judgejess
    judgejess Posts: 36 Member
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    I have recently started my weightloss journey again after having kidney problems that had me balloon up to 306lbs. Before my kidney issues I lost 90lbs then pretty much gained it all back. I am back on my weightloss journey again, but this time finding it hard to get motivated because of depression. I just feel so low and crappy about myself and just very ugly. Looking for motivation and just support while I kick this weight.

    I completely understand where you're coming from. I posted a very similar post at the same time you did! :) So, here's the thing: I think we have to make a choice--do we stay miserable in our shoes (with all the ankle swelling that increased weight brings!), or do we all work together as a group and support one another as we move towards the goal?

    Will constant comparisons to others who only have 20 pounds to lose help us? Probably not.

    Of course, all this is easier said than done. I won't lie. At 12:30 AM, all I hear is "eat, eat, eat." When I'm particularly down, all I hear is "eat, eat, eat." And when I'm happy, I think I deserve to celebrate with food.

    At this point, I'm starting to see that this journey can't be done alone. I tried OA, but it wasn't right for **me** for many reasons (no judgments for those who have found success there).

    Perhaps, with the group camaraderie and honesty we have in posting here, we can encourage each other to stay positive and stick to our meal plans. And perhaps coming on here and posting will help pull us out of the depths of depression and body shaming that we have all become so accustomed to. So in response to your question, I think posting what you're going through on this particular board will help lift you out of the depression, and also keep you motivated to continue. That's my plan, at least.

    Thus, expect a post from me at 12:30 AM when I feel the urge to night-eat! :)

    In mutual admiration of you and others also beginning this journey,
    Jess
  • SCSURaynmann
    SCSURaynmann Posts: 21 Member
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    I think self loathing and depression are what led some of us to the weight we started at, and thus where we are at today in this group for starting weight 300+. After leaving the Military where I was considered OverFat at 206 pounds at 5'11", I went back to college where although my discipline was there for the schooling, it wasn't for the eating. My parents started getting a divorce in 1997 when I was 26 years old which probably started my depression although I never sought help for it. I self medicated with food and quickly ballooned up to around 260. I maintained this weight until 2007 when my Mother and my Godfather both passes away on October 16, 2007 both from cancer. Although I thought I was dealing with it, my wife noticed some weight gain again and by the time I hit my peak of around 334 pounds, it took a trip to the ER to really shake me up as I thought I was having a heart attack which i didn't thankfully.

    God sought fit to give me another chance to re-tune this vessel he gave to me for a very short time here on earth. After making the commitment to not only Him but also my wife and daughter to lose the weight and become the man He wanted me to be and the man that my wife and daughter deserve, I dove in head first using MFP and my trusty Vitamix. I still have the rolls that I so desperately want to lose, and when I reach my goal weight, I may need surgery to get the loose skin off, but I am committed to losing the weight and keeping it off.

    There is nothing more motivating than to see the scale move in a downward direction, but don't let that be your only source of encouragement! I've had a couple weeks where I lost nothing and it made me mad to go back and look at what I ate and can then attribute my stagnant progress to certain foods I ate which is what MFP is great at!! The biggest thing i've noticed other than the scale movement, is the way my dress slacks fit me. When I started, they choked me at the waist and there was a noticeable bout of Dunlap and the under bulge. Now my slacks are so loose, i've had to go a notch in on my belt just to hold em up!! It is the little victories that keep me motivated as well as my team at work who are almost all on MFP with me and have noticed how my clothes are fitting differently.

    I am on daily, so add me as a friend and I can cheer you along in your journey. Remember through any journey, there will be pitfalls and there will be days of failure. It is the way you respond to those, that will make you stronger in the end. If you ever feel you are at your weakest point, and I don't want to sound preachy, but there is one verse that I lean on in my weak spots, which is Phillipians 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." You don't need to be alone in this marathon, and you may need to be carried in spots. MFP teammates and others can be there if you want them to be.

    -Ray
  • melissa3324
    melissa3324 Posts: 33 Member
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    I am very familiar with this situation. A couple years ago, I was all the way up to 330. I was so depressed and at the lowest point in my life. Then I moved away and lost 45 lbs. And a few months later another 10 lbs. But then I went back home last summer and went back to very bad habits, and gained all the way back up to 308 which I'm at now. I've been yoyoing the past year from 290 to 310.

    Fighting depression is really hard. I admit I am bipolar, also. My weight goes down when I am feeling up and and then up when I am feeling down, lol.

    So my goal is to just take exercising and dieting at a very slow pace, instead of doing it all at once. Hopefully next time I am feeling down I will still have the sense not to eat junk and maybe go to the every once in a while.


    Talking to people on here and getting support is also a HUGE help.
  • 1802go
    1802go Posts: 77 Member
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    HI am at 349. there will be joy in little moments look for them and you will find them. Little steps to loving you, more water for a week try not to be so hard on yourself your here we care!!! You are not alone we need you too.
  • jsazieser
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    I have major/clinical depression that flares up and stays for weeks at a time. Stress can bring it on (my husband has stage four cancer, but is healthy, if that makes sense, so I know stress) or it can simply appear out of the blue. I've used medication since college (I'm 43 now) and know I can't go off it...bad things happen when I do. That said...here's what I've learned and wish I would have known before:

    1. Don't diet. Ever. Dieting while I was depressed and not dealing with my issues is what got me here.

    2. Don't fight the depression. Let it ride. Do things to make yourself feel good, but don't fight depression, it's too invasive. Eventually it will go...make your life/body inhabitable for it. The things (for me) that really work are lots of naps, eating vitamin-rich foods, sitting in the sun for at least 20 minutes a day, avoiding stress (headlines, facebook, tv news) and practicing positive self-talk.

    3. Take medication as directed.

    4. Deal with issues. Aside from my husband's cancer, I experienced a lot of abuse as a child and that really affected how I view my body. Therapy is essential...with a good therapist.

    5. Lift weights or practice kettlebells. Seriously. My life changed when I started kettlebells. It makes me feel strong and capable and the endorphins...oh the endorphins! (laugh)

    These aren't easy things and aren't things that I'm saying lightly. It has taken me YEARS to finally get to where I am now and while I'm still over 300 pounds, I feel better about myself than ever before. The scale is going down and soon my outsides will match my insides.

    Feel free to add me as a friend (anyone on this list!)...I check in daily. I've only been here a week, but I'm finding MFP just the tool I need.
  • Peachy1962
    Peachy1962 Posts: 269 Member
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    Exercise does help depression and meditating on the good things in your life!! Counting your blessings makes ya humble when you realize how so little some others in the world have!!

    Sunlight is a very good thing!! :)

    I was on Zoloft of a long while for my depression and it really took away ALL of my feelings and I felt like a shell of a person! :frown:

    So I weaned myself off and tried to just deal with the sad feelings the lost and lonely feelings and then started having anxiety attacks

    I would fine one minute and then the next feel like someone had punched me in the stomach and knocked all the air out of my body!!

    a hard knot that was there and would not go away!! so I asked the doctor for an anti anxiety med not an anti depression one so that has seemed to help and I have been swimming for exercise and exercising in my wheelchair!! getting a good Sweat on really feels good!! :happy:

    Everyone has to deal with all the things life throws at ya everyday but having others that have been there and felt that that you can confide in and just be able to let ya hair down and have a laugh really helps lift your spirits!!

    Wishing all of you all the best that life has to give ya!!! :flowerforyou:


    Sharon xxxx
  • dawnnamira
    dawnnamira Posts: 11 Member
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    I think everyone's made good points. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years, and that definitely caused my weight to jump higher. I've always been overweight, but it only got completely bad when I let the depression control me.

    I've been taking medication and working on things with the help of therapy.

    One of the things that has helped me the most is realizing that I am going to have days where I don't feel like getting up to do ANYTHING. (This is actually really often, even with the medication, but I'm working on it.) On days like this, I try to do something anyway, even something small. Sometimes once you get yourself up to walk in place for five minutes, you realize that you can do five minutes more! And even if you can't? At least you've done those five minutes and you can be proud of yourself that you did SOMETHING.

    Focus on what you can do, instead of what you 'should' be doing.