Just dropping a little note to say hi I'm Danielle. 39 years old. Carrying around 360 REALLY heavy pounds day after day. Don't want to do that anymore. So here I am Doing a regular balanced meal/eating less type thing. I don't like things that are too difficult. I know me, and I know I can't make a lifestyle change that's too hard. I won't stick to it. And I'm not losing this damn weight to put it back on!
I've actually only tried dieting once before. And that's the honest to goodness truth. I tried Protein Power, which is pretty much the Keto lifestyle - healthy protein and fats, restriction of carbohydrates. I lost 35lbs in 4 months, which was great! But my now ex-husband didn't like that I was not eating the same things he and the boys were eating. I chose not to restrict their diets because the boys were still quite young and my ex just wouldn't have gone for it... *sigh*... So he offers me a bite of cookie one day and I say, "You know I can't have that!" in a playful mood, because you guys know what a loss of 35lbs feels like... pretty damn good!... he gets angry and says, "I don't know why you're even doing that diet. It's not even working, I can't see any difference in you at all." Like a backhand to the face... I cried and quit that day. I WAS YOUNG AND PRETTY DUMB!

I always promised myself I would not diet until I knew I was ready to do it forever. I watched my mom lose thousands of pounds through the years. I watched her be successful on every diet she ever tried. And she has LITERALLY tried some variation of them all. She'd drop 100lbs in less than a year, then gain back all that she lost and then some the following year. Over and over all my life. I saw her on the down slope at the beginning when the weight was falling off, then the slow down, the plateaus, and she always reached the same approximate weight... 160lbs, which would be excellent for me at 5'9... but my mother is 5ft even... 160, although it looked awesome seeing her down from around 250, was still overweight for her and she could never seem to get lower. Her recommended ideal weight is between 125 and 135.. And she didn't just stick to the diets diligently, she also exercised religiously... to the point of her and my dad getting up and out of the house at 4:30am to have an hour workout, shower, and head off to their jobs for 6am. She's on the gain from her last successful loss because she has never been able to master the maintenance stage. :brokenheart:

I'm the polar opposite of my mother. I have no motivation and no desire to be accepted in "society". I don't feel like I'm less worthy of respect than someone in an ideal weight bracket. I don't feel desperate to fit in with the thin ladies club. Mom would love to, for once, be in that prestigious inner circle with the thin people. (I know I sound bitter but I'm totally not... it just riles me up when I think of all the successes my mom has achieved but she was never quite good enough to be in her little thin ladies friend group. So yeah. I could care less about any of these things or what anyone but my children think... But there are some things that I do want...

I want i to fit comfortably in a damn chair with arms. And I want to be given a chance to make a first impression. Not just have a stigma stamped on my forehead based solely on my weight. And I want to run. I want to run anywhere. Or everywhere. And go to school and fit in a desk. And I want to see my grandchildren!

But I only want to do this once... So I plan to do it right. No rush, no time restraints, no expectations. My brother gave me the most simple, yet wildly motivational bit of advice one day and I think he had no idea. We were playing Madden(the football game) years ago and I had only gotten the ball 1 yard over the line of scrimmage, and I felt bad, I said, "I'm sorry I didn't do much of anything." And his response was, "No no, that's good. That's positive yardage. Anytime you move the ball over the line of scrimmage and closer to the end zone that's a successful carry. You're thinking about it wrong. You don't think about the whole field. We're working in 10 yard stretches. Each time you move the ball closer to that 10 yard mark, you're giving our team another chance to hit that mark and get a first down which gives us 4 more attempts to either score a touchdown or another first down. As long as you don't go negative on a play, that's a solid play. Just gotta keep the ball moving down the field towards the end zone."


SO... Positive Yardage, people! Keep moving our balls slowly down field toward the end zone. And no matter how small of a play we make, as long as we don't go negative (stop trying! :noway: ), then we are making solid plays and can't help but succeed! :bigsmile: