Overeaters Anonymous (OA)

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The pronoun problem

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sheltony
sheltony Posts: 73 Member
in Social Groups
I have a lot of trouble with the use of "he" in reference to my HP. This tiny piece of OA has made it harder for me to follow the steps. Does anyone else feel this way? My HP is mystery, not male or female. Why not use the term Higher Power and leave the pronouns out? Is it because the wording of the steps is unchangeable?

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  • ms1judy1d
    ms1judy1d Posts: 6 Member
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    I understand the dilemma, but I (my ego) can use every excuse in the book not to do the work. I just change the words in my head. Don't let the technicality of a pronoun get in your way of working the steps. Hopefully, you have an understanding sponsor who will work with you on this. My higher power is too big to wrap my little brain around, so I really don't have a clear understanding. I just know there is a higher power and it isn't me or any man I tend to make my higher power. There are many of us who think as you do, so see those folk out. Also, as always, keep an open mind.
  • suz155
    suz155 Posts: 326 Member
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    Yup,,,it bothered me to say it, so I change it when I work the steps with my sponsor. God for me, isn't male or female. I've used "Our Creator" or Higher Power,,, when the majority are reciting the Lords Prayer, (saying our Father, just didn't work for me),,for the last 15 years or so in a 12 step program. When I work the steps,,,an example: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.(I say as we understand God) Now, if I read the steps, in a meeting, I do usually say him, but, its for reading purposes only, in my mind, there is no gender attached.
  • Terri_Wickwire
    Terri_Wickwire Posts: 149 Member
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    I, also, initially had a challenge with the "he/male" ideal of God, or Higher Power. It stopped me a lot the first time I was in OA many years ago. Today, HP for me is everything from the breeze blowing through the leaves of my roses to the dragonfly that dances over my head to my grandson finally deciding to take a chance on Nawnie and talk with her about his Hot Rod Magazine after hanging out for 2 hours and running away from me.

    God is everywhere for me today, and it is neither male or female but Divine Spirit and I use he/she/God/Spirit interchangeably.
    :heart:
    :flowerforyou:

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