new to this group (:
selkins90
Posts: 33 Member
Hello everyone!
Posting this introduction is not easy for me- but I'm hoping this is a stepping stone to telling my family about my eating habits and hopefully to recovery. So without further stalling, let me get this off my chest.
My name is Sara. I am a binge eater. Just typing that was difficult for me to admit. I never thought that I would be in this position. I have been on MFP for a while now but have been consecutively logging for 205 days. I have lost 70 pounds in about a year which puts me at a healthy and steady rate of weight loss. All sounds gravy right?
Wrong.
The past two months or so, I feel as if I have been on a slow spiral out of control. During the day I eat so good, keeping within my calories and try to exercise consistently. I don't starve myself, I don't deprive myself (I eat anywhere from 1700-2000) calories a day and I let myself eat out of the 'green' sometimes. I do not understand where this new problem has arose from.
I feel ashamed of this problem, for everyone in my life I am their rock, I have spurred my biological brother's weight loss, my boyfriends, my boyfriends brother, mother, grandfather and grandmother. I am the person with the answers and the person that everyone relies on for support and information. I even helped my boyfriend's brother cease his descent into bulimia. For once, for myself, I don't have the answers and I am too ashamed to even admit to my mom that last night I went through half a bag of cocoa puffs, three glasses of milk, two packs of pop tarts and just cereal bars, nuts and anything else I could sneak up to my room and eat in private.
I am on here, hoping that I can meet some people that have beat this habit and that may have some tips to help me. I am willing to put in the work and put myself out there for scrutiny or whatever. I just need someone who understands what I'm going through.
I hope that everyone is prepping for a long weekend, I know I am. Please post here, private message me or whatever means for communication. Also, feel free to add me as a friend.
Thanks,
Sara
Posting this introduction is not easy for me- but I'm hoping this is a stepping stone to telling my family about my eating habits and hopefully to recovery. So without further stalling, let me get this off my chest.
My name is Sara. I am a binge eater. Just typing that was difficult for me to admit. I never thought that I would be in this position. I have been on MFP for a while now but have been consecutively logging for 205 days. I have lost 70 pounds in about a year which puts me at a healthy and steady rate of weight loss. All sounds gravy right?
Wrong.
The past two months or so, I feel as if I have been on a slow spiral out of control. During the day I eat so good, keeping within my calories and try to exercise consistently. I don't starve myself, I don't deprive myself (I eat anywhere from 1700-2000) calories a day and I let myself eat out of the 'green' sometimes. I do not understand where this new problem has arose from.
I feel ashamed of this problem, for everyone in my life I am their rock, I have spurred my biological brother's weight loss, my boyfriends, my boyfriends brother, mother, grandfather and grandmother. I am the person with the answers and the person that everyone relies on for support and information. I even helped my boyfriend's brother cease his descent into bulimia. For once, for myself, I don't have the answers and I am too ashamed to even admit to my mom that last night I went through half a bag of cocoa puffs, three glasses of milk, two packs of pop tarts and just cereal bars, nuts and anything else I could sneak up to my room and eat in private.
I am on here, hoping that I can meet some people that have beat this habit and that may have some tips to help me. I am willing to put in the work and put myself out there for scrutiny or whatever. I just need someone who understands what I'm going through.
I hope that everyone is prepping for a long weekend, I know I am. Please post here, private message me or whatever means for communication. Also, feel free to add me as a friend.
Thanks,
Sara
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Replies
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I could have written this, fr sent.0
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The only thing I can suggest is that you stop logging for a while and start eating at mainenance. If seeing the red numbers is causing your binges than MFP might not be helping you right now. Your binges sound like they might be coming from deprivation so eating at mainenance (mostly healthy with a few treats thrown in) might help stop any feelings of hunger or deprivation that you are feeling0
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Hi Sara. I'm Lisa, and I'm a binge eater too.
For me, it started when I was a kid. I used to sneak into the kitchen at night to find snacks to hide in my room. At around the age of 13, I used to bake cookies and other desserts after school (before my parents came home) and I would hide part of what I made. Noticing my weight gain over time, I started trying to restrict my caloric intake as often as possible to 'make up' for my binges.
I knew I had chronic depression. My depressive symptoms would wax and wane over time, but they never disappeared. My disordered eating was one symptom of my underlying depression.
I finally got my depression (mostly) under control a few years ago. It took a long time to find a treatment program that worked well for me. Since then, my disordered eating habits have mostly disappeared. Still, I sometimes can't resist junk food when it's within hand's reach. And when I have a little, I can't stop going back for more and more.
I struggle with this, but I know gaining mastery over my food intake is the way to achieve my weight loss goals.
I'd love to make friends who people who also struggle with similar issues. Please do send me a Friend Request if you wish.0 -
Our stories are similar, minus the success you've had already. This is day 1 for me. Day 1 of a new way of living. I've read a few threads here, and I'm already feeling more optimistic. We can do this. We can take back control. Food will not win. I don't have answers. I don't even have advice yet. But I'm happy to take the journey with you!0
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I agree with the others about taking a break, for me at the start I had a set calorie goal which now might seem quite low at that weight but whenever I went over I just threw in the towel and continued to eat. I also stopped myself from eating many foods so when I did binge I went for them and felt guilty for breaking my own rules, anyways after a while it became such a habit and I was physically in pain on that day and the next day so I decided to maintain and not count calories so basically portion control. I also stopped weighing myself. After some time being away I felt I was ready to start losing weight and I decided to lose 0.5 lb a week. I think sometimes we all get overwhelmed my the numbers, the counting, the control that it becomes our job and then we see the scale and its not moving down and its not the outcome we expected but you'll grow to learn how inches is important, water retention, how its okay to eat over goal as there is a deficient, in the past I didn't know much so it felt like I had failed even though I hadn't.
Best of luck and learn to forgive yourself no matter what.0 -
Hi everybody! I really like the "break idea" - I've definitely had the feelings SoLiveItUp is talking about. The guilt!
I'm always scared to just eat until I'm full instead of tracking - but maybe just because it would force me to actually face my feelings!0 -
Hi,
I'm new to this group. Not sure what kind of support I need, but I am feeling confused and down. I made a huge accomplishment two weeks ago and ran a half marathon. But then the binging took over again, and I've gained 10 pounds in the past two weeks. I don't get how I go from being healthy to destroying my health.
I just went to Barnes and Noble and bought some of the books on the recommended reading list in this group, but then came home and binged as I was reading one.
Makes no sense.0
