I'll always be fat
heatheryhamlet
Posts: 3
Hi, my name is Heather and I guess I am just feeling disappointed in myself today. I am hoping I can vent to you all and maybe get some advice. I have been big since I was a toddler. At 19 I was 367 pounds and underwent Gastric bypass. I only lost 100 pounds. Yes, 100 pounds is a lot, but to go through major surgery and still be 267 was heartbreaking. Fast forward five years later and after marriage, and a baby I stepped on the scale this morning and I am at 301. I broke down crying. I have tried diets and exercise. I diet for three months or more eating only 1500 calories and I only lose 2 pounds so I give up. It's a cycle I'm tired of repeating. I just feel like I'm going to be fat forever and there's nothing I can do. Even surgery didn't work. I'm sorry to vent to you all my sadness, I just needed a place to go to get it out.
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Replies
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It's good to be able to get it out... Don't be sorry. Have faith in yourself, even if you have to force it for awhile. Like the saying goes "fake it til you make it".
Maybe you are eating too few calories? I thought that sounded odd at first too, then started to eat closer to what was "recommended". Each of our bodies reacts differently to foods, what works for some doesn't work for others. (A fact my doc reminded me of this week, and something I struggle with.).0 -
DON'T GIVE UP!!
I have lost and gained the same weight my whole life... I’ve always been the "big girl" and "the fat one"..... but I’ve just had to completely overhaul my way of thinking... this isn't a "diet" I’ve changed my whole attitude with food. I don't deny myself but I just watch the portions. I thought I would be fat forever too, just keep trying different methods until you find something that works for you!!
The message boards can be a great place to get ideas (but they can sometimes be a bit harsh) lol
Try reading this post:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
It helped me a lot and makes sence! Good luck and fee l free to add me if you like
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I know that we are all here to lose weight, but sometimes I think it is just a piece of a larger puzzle. Even at my skinniest I was a size 16, but happy b/c I was healthy. I think that sometimes we have to stop thinking of it as a weight problem, and start thinking of it as trying to be kind to ourselves. Take the time to make healthy choices not because you want to lose weight, but because you are a person of worth and deserve good things. Focus on the things that make you feel healthy, and feel fit, and feel happy. Keep pouring energy into those things, and things will seem better. Fat does not always have to mean unhealthy. Healthy, fat and happy are not mutually exclusive. I am sure that things can and will be better! Do not lose hope.0
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As my grandfather used to say: "where there's a will, there's a way."
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You just have to latch onto it with determination, tenacity and commitment.
There are a lot of tools available here for free:
1) a calorie counter (both on website and your phone) to record what you eat
2) a sensible calorie goal tailored to you and your body. Follow it, and the pounds will fall off.
3) a vibrant, positive, helpful community of people going through the same things you're going through.
But you can't depend on any of the above alone to do the job. You have to make the commitment to yourself. You are the captain of your ship. You are the master of your fate. And you can do anything you set your mind to.
Please feel free to add me as a friend.
Frank (ftw37)0 -
I agree with EVERYTHING above!!! I've struggled my entire life with my weight too and I've lost weight, then gained some back, lost more, then gained even more back, until I hit 318 a couple years ago. This time around has been totally different, A LOT slower than I ever hoped or planned for, but I am developing habits that are sustainable. My lifestyle is changing (last week I exercised 3x each day close to or over 1000 calorie burns, and just realized today that I was calling that a "bad week". A year ago that would've been a GREAT week for me). I think one of the biggest things is that when I mess up, I get right back up. I don't let it last long, because I know if I don't get back up I'll end up right back where I started and I have no desire to go back there.
Don't give up!!! When you give up and say "it's over", then it's over until you decide it's not. You are NOT at your heaviest. Sure, you gained some weight back, but you aren't all the way back at square 1. It's like you climbed a mountain and almost got to the top, then slid halfway down. You can choose to keep sliding down until you're back at the bottom, or continue climbing from where you are. :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi Heather
How are you going since vocalizing your fears? has anything shifted?
A friend of mine who has lost 100lb gave this advice to someone in a thread and I thought I would share it with you
If you are feeling stuck
Buy a FITBIT ...track your movement as weight loss is 80% food, 15% activity and 5% genetic/attitude
Muscle weighs more than fat so, if you're replacing the fat with muscle, you're going to see inches disappear before the weight does...are you taking measurements that are non scale related?
Are you weighing yourself at the same time of day each time?
Are you having normal bathroom issues? ..it is important you can release your waste
What's your sodium intake look like? you might be retaining water which is supposed to mean you need to drink more water so your body stops trying to save it. It's supposed to be 64oz plus another 8oz for every 25 pounds you want to lose. If you're not drinking at least 100oz of pure water a day, there's your explanation. And I don't mean flavored water - most of that has added sodium which pretty much ruins the point behind drinking it.
Are you sleeping well? sleep is so important to good weight loss
Have more sex... it puts you in a good mood and burns calories at the same time
Have you started any new medications or supplements? some of those do weird things to weight gain
Are you honestly tracking every nibble and bite? some people who do most of the cooking taste a lot more than they think they do and it adds up quickly ..is it time to weigh your food and really note portions
Are you eating properly? I have read a million times that you have to eat to lose weight. If you go below 1400-1600 calories on a regular basis, your body will start storing the fat just to piss you off. It goes into starvation mode and stores everything it can.
Anyway I hope that is some food for thought
Blessings
Carol0 -
Hi Carol. I took a bit of a "vacation" from my mind and body and dieting. I just had a baby three months ago and I'm battling Post partum depression. I've gained 30 pounds since she was born. But I logged on tonight and I feel like I'm ready to try again as of now. I am going to go slow for a while, I think sometimes I get too ahead of myself and go from eating anything to only eating 1500 and I end up feeling like I'm dying within a few days and give up. So I'm thinking maybe 1800 for now? and scale it down over the next few weeks? Thank you everyone for your support. I just need to pick myself up and take it one day at a time.0
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Take care of you
the fact that you have returned to MFP is a great start
it will allow you to become a mindful eater and to log truthfully will make a great impact anyway
so 1800 is so realistic, take it easy
take time for your self care0
