We had sex at least twice more after the first time, and he was still talking about "next time" right before he told me that he always felt guilty after having sex with me. From there the conversation went to, "should we really be doing this?" And then, it just sort of fell off a cliff. I really just think it was more about his moral values than anything. He has some emotional discord he's dealing with too... lots of baggage. The sex was super-hot.

Seems in this specific case, the guy has issues (perhaps intimacy, religious guilt about sex or maybe he's just not over an ex, who knows?) and something probably would have come to light regardless of the timing of sex.

Yes, I realize that (it's likely all of the above, honestly). Or at least, I'm trying to accept that. Just trying to decide if I need to change my behavior.

Like I said, rushing into sex hasn't really worked out for me in the past. I feel like I may have sabotaged this relationship in my own way.

I think part of what keeps me befuddled on this is, in spite of his issues that I'm well aware of, he continues to date and look for a potential mate. And I know that it is his head that is screwed up, and no I don't need a head case in my life, but I'm just wondering if I have issues that I too need to address.

Maybe you were not right for him. (Guessing that the case here)
Why is it an issue if he continues to date other people?

Because his proclammation that he "can't" love another woman other than the ex... look he has issues that interfere with his relationships... but he continues to pursue relationships without addressing his issues.

I could care less at this point. He's not in my life anymore. He can do what he wants to do.

I hate to say this but you should be very thankful you have moved on from him (ok maybe I don't hate to say it ) becuase he is all kinds of confused. The problems are all his and I don't think any time you spend on trying to figure it out will get you anywhere. He thankful you have moved on from an emotionally unavailable man, and if you end up feeling anything - feel sorry for his next victim.

I hate to say this but you should be very thankful you have moved on from him (ok maybe I don't hate to say it ) becuase he is all kinds of confused. The problems are all his and I don't think any time you spend on trying to figure it out will get you anywhere. He thankful you have moved on from an emotionally unavailable man, and if you end up feeling anything - feel sorry for his next victim.

I do. It just makes me very sad. I do care for him very much. But I know it's for the best.

You know, and honestly, you make me realize that he probably pushed me away because he knew that being with me would mean he would have to deal with those issues, and he doesn't want to.

He isn't capable, and this is what he does... because he's not healthy.
I have dated plenty of them... one is my kid's ex, and he has never changed.... and never will ....

Worry about what you want in life, what your boundaries are, gain your worth/self esteem, and you will never wonder about another man, you will just live life by your rules and the right guy will fall into place... This I know for certain

A lot of players are well too familiar with the so called waiting game. The black and white traditional approach of "waiting it out" is like going to a casino and expecting better odds because you're having better luck on one slot machine over another.
It's a chance thing. The best prevention, as always, is honest and direct communication of what a person wants. If the person doesn't directly communicate, and offers vague, confusing, and mixed signals, then that's what the future will hold.

I've seen way too many iterations of this. It's called the "let's confuse casual relationship for a regular relationship" game. Mostly, I've seen it done to my gal pals. I have seen it go the other way. In essence, one person only wanted a casual relationship, but will settle on someone that wants something more. Usually, it's for the "security", the "comfort", the person is "nice". But, I'm talking burnt language now...anyway....

This is primarily the "casual relationship" language that I've seen used time and time again, with different iterations, but always the same philosophy. It's meant to keep the more traditional person "hooked".

"I'm really not ready for a relationship yet, but I do care about you and I do want to see what the future holds. I believe that eventually I do see potential for something more but I can't guarantee what that future holds. I do care about you, and I still want us to be together."


This is what the person who really only wants a continued casual relationship really means and is telling the person:
"I'm really not ready for a relationship yet, but I do care about you and I do want to see what the future holds. I believe that eventually I do see potential for something more but I can't guarantee what that future holds. I do care about you, and I still want us to be together."

This is what the other person picks out and only wants to hear at the time.
"I'm really not ready for a relationship yet, but I do care about you and I do want to see what the future holds. I believe that eventually I do see potential for something more but I can't guarantee what that future holds. I do care about you, and I still want us to be together."