Okay, I wanted to put a wedding cake as my profile picture, BUT I decided against it :-P

Name's Kay! I'm 24 and as of May engaged to the love of my life, we are aiming for a small beach wedding late next July, or early August. (We can not for the life of us settle on a date yet....). I'm 170 pounds and would like to lose 30 pounds (That's my first goal, after that...we will see how I feel?). I decided before embarking on this journey fully...(because I've spent the past 1-2 months just increasing my workouts again, and examining my routines, habits, mindset) I wanted to find the ROOT of the weight issue, so I knew where to tackle it and stop it from occurring again.

SO my story: I have struggled with weight since I was a teen really. In high school, I became a vegetarian, and later a vegan - even went into Culinary school to become a vegan chef. So trust me, I did it right. Not an unhealthy vegan - at least not food wise...but....
Part of me wonders to this day if I became vegetarian and then vegan because I truly had a passion for vegan cuisine or if it was one thing I could actually control, I mean there is no gray, you pick your lifestyle and that's how you eat! And live, and cook, and work....so on. I worked in a health store after school, health restaurant. 16-21, the entirety of my life, a big portion of it was me preaching about healthy food. It was my dream. Yet working out was an unknown/unloved concept to me, so I weighed between 140-150.

I also developed epilepsy as a late teen, which lead to me A) make a career change (knives are not the best thing to have around while having a seizure - yes I should've acknowledged this sooner, but persistence is a trait that I DO posses just choose to bring out when I WANT) and b) me being put on medication which would change my metabolic rate (so I always had a crutch....)...all my other girlfriends would eat a slice of cake and workout, and whine "How do you do it?"...."...well, my medicine.." But still, I was going from around the 145-155 range.

As well, it should be mentioned that with my epilepsy and career change so did my vegan lifestyle. My doctors said with my constant increase of medication and how my medicine consumes so many vitamins found in meat/fish/eggs/dairy, and how so many vitamins in meat/fish/eggs/dairy are essential to people with epilepsy, that it would be a constant battle unless I made this change. And so I did, because the battle was already very difficult.

In the midst of this, I was doing advocacy work for poverty in America, I developed a group from a campus trip out of state...and what did I naturally envelop this around? Feeding those in need. I believe this stems from growing up in a low income family but appreciating the fact that food was always on the table. At this point it is becoming more difficult to stay below 160, and I'm working out now!

I am now a business professional. (Not food related!....something I realized needed a celebratory cause upon this reflection...so YAY!) But, I do spend an immense amount of my day...on my butt. And trust me, it shows :-P Plus, I'm not sure about anybody else and their office environment, but whenever there is a celebration to be had in my office (birthday, retirement, success,....bonding time, or well, just because) we bake, or order in, or have a potluck. Food is endless. I pack daily, but aft er one day of logging, I did not realize how many calories I pack in my own PACKED lunch, gahhh, I can't imagine the potluck days.

So after "Falling in love weight" :-P, and office weight on top of that, wham, 167-172 back and forth for several months. Today =170.

It is time for this nonsense to be over. Most of my problems stem from emotional eating. (Heck that's all my whole relationship with food HAS been) I am well aware of this. My fiance will watch his sporting events and I will spend hours in the gym at a time, loving it. Working out is not a problem, when I go, once I'm in the gym, I don't want to leave. The big thing is...when I'm upset, not gravitating toward the cookies, pasta, potato chips, cereal, glasses of milk....or whatever else may be laying around.

I'm ready for this, to go ALL out and to take my mind back, body back, and to have a positive relationship with food....one where well...I just eat GOOD food because I'm hungry. Not to make a point, or to fit in, or because its there, or to show appreciation. I will control the food, not the other way around.

Thanks for anybody who read that all the way through. And well, if you can't tell I'm honest...so I'm not afraid to admit, I don't know how the networking thing works on this site, but I will need support in this...anybody willing? :-P