HTOTD: How to handle crush on coworkers or subordinates

JanieJack
JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
I'm at a contract facility today and a convo I overheard spurred this question: what do you do when you have a crush on a coworker? Do you ignore it? Find excuses to be around them? Keep it at work? Try to ask them out outside of work?

How does the answer change if your crush works FOR you?

I know a couple folks who flirt at work as a form of entertainment but have no desire to "make it real" outside the workplace. Personally, though I work around some hot men their personalities turn me off (as mine does them haha) so I rarely have this problem. One time one of my students was quite attractive and compatible in personality so I had to maintain strong boundaries (no one-on-one, no lunches with just me and him, keep it strictly business) til he graduated.

What do you (or others you know) do?

Replies

  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Well... I have crushed on co-workers. I ended up in a long-term relationship with one. Another one, I asked out, but he just ignored the question and life went on as normal. But one, broke my heart big time, and I knew the minute I saw him that it wouldn't end well for me. :brokenheart:

    I have never had any subordinates so I can't relate to the second part of your question.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I just feel bad for ladies who really think their boss is into them. I wish every young girl would be taught your middle aged boss is just passing time and/or manipulating you, not seriously interested in a relationship. Then again, I could be jumping to conclusions. She could be well aware of whats going on and taking advantage of the situation.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    I just feel bad for ladies who really think their boss is into them. I wish every young girl would be taught your middle aged boss is just passing time and/or manipulating you, not seriously interested in a relationship. Then again, I could be jumping to conclusions. She could be well aware of whats going on and taking advantage of the situation.

    Most likely...
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    When I was 16 I had an 18 year old coworker I had the biggest crush on. A few years later I had a crush on another coworker. He was actually super nice to me and sometimes I thought even flirty. I remember posting about him here last summer. I thought maybe on my last day he would make a move (hahahahahahahaha in my dreams!!) but alas he did not.

    Unless the person is your subordinate or supervisior I see nothing wrong with dating a coworker. My old boss met his wife at work and now they're happy with three kids!!
  • grum84
    grum84 Posts: 428 Member
    I tried having an office romance once. It started at the office, then ended up outside of it. Sadly, when it ended, it was incredibly hard to get over as I saw them often at work.

    I learned from then on to just keep it to flirting at the most. Maybe I would try it if we didn't work directly with each other. So wouldn't see them on a daily or even weekly basis.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    I've had a couple crushes on people I've worked with, but for the most part it was just because they were attractive and I had to see them every day, and other than that didn't have much in common so I didn't act on it. The only time I did was when I was an intern and I asked out another intern since I knew the job was only temporary. I'd never date a subordinate, that would just be weird and very frowned upon.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    When I worked days I had a few. Never did anything though. 1) I was hyooge back then thus never tried anything. 2) All had boyfriends as far as I knew. Now working nights, it's even less. There was 1 really cute brown-eyed Indian girl I'd exchange smiles with when I was ending my shift in the mornings and she was coming into work , but she moved back to the east coast.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
    No no no..I don't *kitten* where I eat.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    No no no..I don't *kitten* where I eat.

    You know, that is such an ugly expression.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
    No no no..I don't *kitten* where I eat.

    You know, that is such an ugly expression.

    lol ok how bout this one.. I don't fish off the company docks
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    No no no..I don't *kitten* where I eat.

    You know, that is such an ugly expression.

    lol ok how bout this one.. I don't fish off the company docks

    Better.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I just feel bad for ladies who really think their boss is into them. I wish every young girl would be taught your middle aged boss is just passing time and/or manipulating you, not seriously interested in a relationship. Then again, I could be jumping to conclusions. She could be well aware of whats going on and taking advantage of the situation.

    This sounds like a great start to a porn.
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
    I work in an I.T. department which handles multiple buildings with a predominantly female staff. A co-worker has a crush on just about every female in every building and dates multiple women all the time. Hearing his endless stories of trying not to be seen by other staff members when out, close calls, calling off a date only to be caught dating someone else the same evening, the awkwardness of ending a relationship etc. etc. I don't think I would pursue anyone from work.