How do you feel about starting a family?
imogen__may
Posts: 78 Member
I imagine people here have had to consider the possibility that they might not be able to start a family by conceiving and giving birth, so how do you, your partners, your families feel about starting families through adoption, fostering or surrogacy?
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My husband and I have talked about it at length. While we aren't ready to give up on the idea of having kids together naturally, we've agreed that surrogacy and adoption are the ways that we are comfortable with. We ruled out fostering only because of the possibility of losing the child after we'd gotten attached. Surrogacy is our preferred method because we'd still know all of the child's medical history and be able to help if need be.0
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I'm 25 and I have an 8yr old son. I got pregnant with my son when I was 15 and had him when I was 16. I'm currently not I'm a relationship and don't plan on being in one for quite some time. I want to work on me (lose weight, get healthy) and then think about a relationship. I do think about having more kids but I don't know what routes I'm willing to go just yet. I'm hoping by losing weight, I can get pregnant on my own when the time comes.0
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We actually landed in between those two options and did fertility treatments. That's the "nice" thing about PCOS, giving birth is not the issue. And apparently sustaining the pregnancy is also doable (with lots of progesterone). The issue was just getting pregnant and that the docs were able to take care of in two attempts. I did look at all of those options though and believe it or not, fertility was the cheapest option for us. Surrogacy seem to be the most expensive. That was two years and a baby ago though so I'm afraid I couldn't tell you where I did my research. Adoption is our top choice for a second though, only because I recently had thyroid cancer and am radioactive for a year. That means starting fertility treatments again when I'm 40 and I just don't know if I could do that again.0
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I had my 8 year old daughter when I was 22. It was a complete surprise as I was told that I wouldn't be able to without treatments and miscarriage risk was very high even if I did get pregnant. I was still big, but I was100 pounds lighter than I am now and had been exercising every day,eating well, and been on birth control for 4 years by that point. No children for us in the 8 years since and the comments from others about us "not giving her" any siblings hurt very deeply. I am so so grateful for my daughter and feel lucky that we have her and that she is healthy. Not getting pregnant was a monthly disappointment for so many years, and I am done trying for now. I had to be honest with myself that I have only gotten bigger and I need to take care of that first if I hope to have a healthy pregnancy (or any pregnancy at all). When I get down to the weight I was when I got pregnant with my daughter I may try again, but for now I am working on being content with our family at its current size
I don't want to go the treatment or surrogacy route. Not sure why, but I just feel like it isn't for me. We have talked about adoption, and I am very open to it, but our finances have never been in a place where we had the money to do that.0 -
^^ I am (finally) pregnant with my second. My daughter is about to turn seven and I can't believe the comments people make. I heard all the time "You have to give her a sibling". People have no idea what health problems others might be going through, that it might not be possible.
We felt the same about about fertility treatment. I don't know why - it just didn't feel right for us. But I know many others who felt differently and have started their families all kinds of ways. Good luck to everyone!0 -
I only found out I has PCOS about year1 1/2 ago im still learning what it all means. My husban and I want kids but not at the risk of me (as he says). So the "PLAN" is for me to lose weight so that the risks go down and it will be easyer to get pregant and not miscarrie. I know that even if I lose the weight it is still likely that I could not get pergant and/or have miscarrie. We have talked about adoption and we want to try the natural way first. We have only been married three years so we still have time before I get worried about age. I do worrie tho because my mom had many miscarries 4 with my father 6 total.0
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We have been TTC #2 for 5 years now and have had 7 m/c's. On top of PCOS I have Endo so that could dramatically increase my cases of M/C. I've know so many ladies get pregnant and have happy healthy children so don't give up hope if you're trying. x
I'm 33 and once my specialist and I get my current cycle under control he is happy for me to start trying again. We'll start with clomid, met and progesterone. I was doing injectables but it really ruined my cycles and now I'm facing the possibility of endometrial hyperplasia, he wants to induce a period and then do another scan to confirm.
If I can't have another child (who isn't my husband biological child) then I would be open to use a surrogate!0
