I have been up and down for years. More up than down over the past year - I am blessed. I am finally goal weight (most friends call me skinny) and have never felt better, healthier and fitter. But still those binges haunt me.
I know the signs, I can recognise them a mile away. Thankfully they are rare and I can limit the damage but still it knocks me sideways when they happen.
Tonight, I got my little boy to bed then proceeded to eat for 2 hours solid. I am now full, sore to the point of being doubled over and bloated. I tried making myself sick, but didn't get much up. I am dreading going to bed and waking up with that feeling of disgusting dread I know so well.
I just want to write my feelings here to save me dwelling on things too much. I know tomorrow is a new day and I wont really have gained the 5lbs the scale will be showing.
Some days.. I just hate how food makes me feel. High and happy one moment and like a disgusting heap the next. I wish food were like alcohol or cigarettes where you could give them up!!!