Your worst
autumnrunning
Posts: 103
I was wondering what have your worst binges been like? Have you ever been in the middle of one and tried to stop?
I'm trying to leave the past behind but i'm fine with talking about it. Okay, some of the worst binge-moments:
It was a few days old cake and no one wanted it since it had gotten too moist, i ate the whole cake with my hands.
Once i binged on a bowl of pasta, my brother called me a fat b****, i went to my room and started crying, closed the door and purged it in a container i hid in my closet (i actually never purge, but it was easy that time
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Some of the worst ones have been planned or the type when you go to the store and buy everything you might want and then go on eating cycles: salty foods/dessert/sweets/salty stuff again/sweets...
When i binge i usually abuse coffee too since it has a laxative kind of effect on me and i guess it's not the best for your heart to eat a ton of calories and then overdose on caffeine...
I have cried and still eaten and promised to never eat again. I have fought the thoughts of overeating, putting food on my plate while a tiny voice in my head goes: "somebody stop me, please!"
I have hid away at home after a binge to fast. I have gone running to punish myself for eating too much. I have baked a whole pizza for myself and eaten it.
But not anymore, not anymore, not ever.
I'm trying to leave the past behind but i'm fine with talking about it. Okay, some of the worst binge-moments:
It was a few days old cake and no one wanted it since it had gotten too moist, i ate the whole cake with my hands.
Once i binged on a bowl of pasta, my brother called me a fat b****, i went to my room and started crying, closed the door and purged it in a container i hid in my closet (i actually never purge, but it was easy that time
)Some of the worst ones have been planned or the type when you go to the store and buy everything you might want and then go on eating cycles: salty foods/dessert/sweets/salty stuff again/sweets...
When i binge i usually abuse coffee too since it has a laxative kind of effect on me and i guess it's not the best for your heart to eat a ton of calories and then overdose on caffeine...
I have cried and still eaten and promised to never eat again. I have fought the thoughts of overeating, putting food on my plate while a tiny voice in my head goes: "somebody stop me, please!"
I have hid away at home after a binge to fast. I have gone running to punish myself for eating too much. I have baked a whole pizza for myself and eaten it.
But not anymore, not anymore, not ever.
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Replies
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Everything stated above, except the coffee part and the purge part and the running part
And the never again part. I don't want that kind of pressure on me. If it happens, it happens. And I move on. Easier said than done, but that's how I have to try looking at it.0 -
I have pretty similar experiences, especially in terms of going out and buying everything I have been craving, and eating it all in a huge binge. Those have been my worst also. Carrier bags full of junk food, though 99% of the time, it is all sweet, with no salty foods. I tend to purge almost every time I binge, to be honest, unless it is a binge on something like nuts. I also sometimes push myself to do a lot of exercise after a period of binging. I have never eaten a stale cake, but I have gone out to dig out leftover binge food out of the dustbins (Always still in its packaging though). I have had to resort to putting washing up liquid on the leftover food to keep myself from being able to eat more. My largest intake was about 10,000 calories over the course of a day. When you purge, and know you can purge, you tend to just end up binging on a whole lot more.0
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Thanks for replies. I also remembered one Christmas dinner when i had snacked the whole day during the making of the food and then later and after we actually had dinner and some wine with it, my stomach started to hurt, i got gassy and after drinking some water to make it go away, i vomited pretty much all what i had eaten out on the kitchen floor. It was about a meter long and it ruined everyone's mood (funny/sad/pathetic when you think about it).
Also after it i got asked ~jokingly~ whether i was hungry. I think i lost 6 pounds with that one...0 -
Wow - -the part about cycling through salty/sweet/desserts/salty/sweet ... I never realized it, but I do this. Holy crap. Except I also add bread or something in there too. And cheese. Anything with melted cheese. I am so glad I found this group on MFP. I really, really have been hiding this binge issue and dealing with it by myself. Not good. I am glad I am not alone.0
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My worst binge was when I was stressed about stuffing up a job interview. Right after the interview, I ordered 3 medium fries, 2 double cheeseburgers and 6 nuggets from McDonald's. Walked home and ate them immediately. That's 2300 calories over a one hour period. Not to mention, another 1000 or so calories from breakfast and dinner.0
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Wow - -the part about cycling through salty/sweet/desserts/salty/sweet ... I never realized it, but I do this. Holy crap.
I didn't realise it either, this is exactly what I do as well. Sweets-->chocolate-->salty foods--> bread-->sweets etc. On a normal day I can easily consume 2000-3000 calories of sugary foods on top of 3 very large meals. On a bad day....I don't even know what I eat....anything I can get my hands on.
For the past 8 years, I've gone through cycles of binge eating every day for 6-8 months and then obsessively dieting and exercising on 600 calories a day for 3-4 months, so my weight has never been steady. This time last year I was 150lbs and now I'm 232lbs because of my binge eating.
It stops now.0 -
I actually haven't binge ate in a long time, ive just been eating horrible everday steadily and logging it all. However, I suspect once I go back on a diet in the new year it will start up again. **** cycle.
My worst I dont even know... but I also plan it and do that food cycle. Weird isnt it?0 -
Here are some of my worst binge moments:
- my sister didn't finish her chocolate chip pancakes. Already having 2 pancakes myself, I said I'd only take a few bites. After I did she threw them away. There was nothing else in the trash but some wrappers and paper, but I stuck my hand in and ate a lot of it. I then continued to binge on other foods.
- I was sleeping over at my friends house and when everyone was asleep I snuck upstairs and took food out of her pantry. I'm not even that great of friends with her.
- at a family party I had eaten a lot. Then I went to hangout with some friends and told them I hadn't ate all day and ate a ton of snacks with them. Later we went to panera and I gobbled a big pastry before everyone had even gotten their food. My stomach hurt so bad I went into the bathroom for about 20 minutes. (They didn't understand why it took so long) then we went home and as they jumped and laughed on the trampoline I sat on the sidelines feeling sick.
- I tiptoed downstairs around midnight to sneak some food. When I turned on the light my dad was on the couch and woke up to ask what I was doing. I lied and said I needed my charger from my purse and ran upstairs.
- I was babysitting and when I out the kids to bed I ate a ton of the family's food such as ice cream, granola bars, pop tarts etc
- every thanksgiving/ Christmas for the past 3 years I been in pain and sad because of how much I'd ate.
- up late studying for finals, I binged. I became distracted from my studies and did not review as much as I had wanted
Yeah I know I'm pathetic0 -
Last night was my worst in years.... I ate more than I did on xmas day!! 2 big platefuls of risotto, a bottle of red wine (ouch - headache today), 2 bowls of chocolate brownie with ice cream, loads of chocolate (including some of my son's christmas chocolate - how awful is that), I had cheese and crackers and then a couple of bowls of cereal before crashing out in bed, feeling full, bloated and seriously uncomfortable.
Not very happy with myself at all today. I am the slimmest I have ever been and I know I can get back on track this week, but I hate the emotional damage I do to myself with this daily food battle.
Wouldn't it be nice to eat what you want when hungry and stop when full?0 -
You're not pathetic, though. You have issues that you need to deal with. That doesn't make you pathetic. It makes you human. When I binge, I go until I am sick and I can hardly function. But I'm not pathetic. It isn't a wise choice but it doesn't make me less of a good person. It just means I lack self control. Which is why we are all here. Cheer up!0
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I workout at a private, personal gym. One time, I bought a pumpkin whoopee pie and a bag of sea salted caramels on the way to the gym and ate them in the gym instead of working out, because no one was there. Ugh.0
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My darkest is when I come to the realization that my binge has gone on for days, and I don't think I can stop the next day. Thatts when I start to feel hopeless. I also hate reading books about food where they talk about feeling naturally full or some one not needing to diet because they will naturally limit themselves. I hate that I can't do this, and it makes me feel different and alone.0
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I'd go to the store and buy tons of junk food and stuff myself,
during parties, I'd eat for 4-5 people
during the holidays I eat and eat without control
in the evenings I'd buy snacks and just stuff my face.
I haven't done any of this in months, I'm so proud and I feel better as well!
good luck!0 -
Reading all your posts on here has really been a comfort. Its like looking into a mirror. I thought I was alone in this struggle. I honestly have no reasons as to why I need to binge eat, other than it feels good at the time. I am notorious for going grocery shopping just for a binge, spending over $50 on nothing but crap food and then feeling awful afterwards. I'm very happy I found this group, a place where people relate and wont judge me. Its really hard keeping this lifestyle from people. No one I know would understand. I cant think of a binge right now that is worse than any others, they are all pretty bad IMO.0
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I've only just joined this group and have been reading through people's comments. I have never commented myself before but I feel so relieved and comforted that I am not alone! I think maybe putting my actions and thoughts into words may help me a. acknowledge my behaviour and b. hopefully give someone some support or comfort too and c. help me break this habit which makes me hate myself!!
I thought I was going mad! My binge eating was never really that much of a problem. I then went on medication which sent my appetite through the roof!! I felt sick with hunger almost all the time. I gained back the 10lbs I'd lost. Since coming off the medication I feel my binge eating has become a really bad habit. I am desperate to break it!
I find myself going to the supermarket and buying junk food and spending so much money!! I'll eat some of it on the way home in the car. I've also found myself to stop off at shops / garages on the way home to pick up some other things which I know these places have which perhaps I didn't get at the supermarket. When I am eating things that I got I often don't eat the whole thing. So for example if I buy a chocolate cake sometimes I will eat the topping and a small amount of the actual cake. It sounds so strange! I am such a mess!! I have also been staying at a friends and woken in the night and raided her fridge! I bought her lunch the next day because I felt terrible (I didn't tell her!)
I am desperate to beat this! I have to! (for my bank balance as well as my sanity!!) I hate the feeling of going to bed and knowing I wont sleep because I am so full and the pain and discomfort! I feel so ashamed. I hide it from my family and feel like without telling anyone I'm not acknowledging it and dealing with it. Sorry for such a long post. I just sort of started writing and it all came out. I have to say I feel better and like this is the first step to addressing my behaviour. Such a long way to go. I feel more involvement in this group and on these boards may help!
I sometimes feel that I restrict my diet too much and this is getting more and more as the binges increase and I know it is a cycle. Has anyone had any luck with allowing themselves one treat say on a specific day and ONE specific item? I was thinking on a Sunday evening (I hate Sunday evenings due to anxiety related to work) and ONE chocolate bar??
Thanks for reading through my rambles. Any responses and support would be appreciated. I feel so horrible and ashamed.0 -
Since 1st march I have binged 4 times. Dominos x 2, macdonalds x2, bars of chocolate by 1 million. Started CBT last night and binged today. Going to gym later and walking dog too. Feel so guilty and disgusting. Hate myself for it0
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An enitre box of chocolates (lindt, maybe about 18-20 pieces) at 10am in the morning right after waking up. It didn't belong to me, it was a gift my BF received and had been keeping for a while on his desk. The reason I did it at 10am was cause he was still sleeping and wouldnt see me do it. I had to go out and replace the box of chocolates so he wouldn't notice what I had done and I had to run around town to like 4 different places looking for the exact same one a few days later when he went out of town... He didn't catch on to the missing item from his desk during this time at least.
Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe how ashamed and disgusting this made me feel.....0 -
I won't get into the worst being what foods or how much, but I remember all the times I drove clear across town to binge shop at grocery stores where I figured I wouldn't run into anyone I knew. I remember telling lies to the check out clerks that "I was having a party" or "I was babysitting nieces/nephews". It made me feel pathetic.
I remember striking up conversations with the check out people about anything, just hoping they would focus on what I was saying, not item after item of junk and crap beeping across the scanner. I would leave quickly like I had just bought some crack and drive clear back home.
It was never just *A* candy bar or *A*pint of ice cream thing.
I can easily drop $30-$60 on a binge. I recall one at Walmart, nothing BUT food, it was almost $120.00
edit, typo.0
