did not announce my 1st pregnancy. You can take precautions, but when it happens to you, you are less rational than you would be, had it been a friend coming to you, informing you that they'd fallen pregnant. I was livid for self. Gutted. To have abstained for so long, get back on the saddle and then fall pregnant brought my reality home; Why I'd chosen to abstain in the first place; To avoid conception with a man who isn't my husband.

What did I do? I opted to terminate My friends knew and my guy friends thought I should've informed the prospective father. I know him. Ukranian, a sworn bachelor, loves his live-it-up playboy lifestyle; We don't share a faith and had I gone through with it, I would've had to convert. I don't rightly know what his family feel about coloured women "joining" the family and of all modes of entry ~ via pregnancy. Business, yes. Not a good start. And not that I'd seen him as a potential prospect. For me ~ yes; Beyond me, considering a family with children, a life with him ~ NO. He is unsuitable, for he is selfish. And I'm not the sort who'd rope a man in via something I can control and deal with myself. So, I headed for the OBGYN with my sister. Had I gone through with it, I know that at least I would've had the support of my friends and sister, with father-figure considerations from amongst my male friends corps. They were stumped. And sadly they're of the school of thought, that all men should be informed and the men need to be part of the process (from pregnancy kit to ob gyn).

Why did I choose to enter into this thread today? My brother. The one and only I have. The man I'd single-handedly raised, failed my rearing. A man whose wherewithall was my legal responsibility from when I was 16. He heard NOTHING. He learnt NOTHING. Two girls, 2 career models have "possibly" fallen pregnant. From my heritage it is never a light matter. A child born into our House, qualifies that child for inheritance, when written under our Book of Life/Heritage relevant to assets; Land, Sea and Mineral Rights is cause for my stress!! And these possible children are garnering for their position in our Traditional Book of Life/Heritage to be entered before his Marital Children. In an arranged marriage culture, consideration for entry, is a no-no, if the child was conceived out of wedlock. Entry is only permissible via 'our approval' . Meaning under the elders of the line(in this case, me or my older sister), before our own children. If they are proven legitimately his, then they will be given an allowance, but will NOT enter the book. That is solely for children conceived in marriage.

How did he react to them possibly falling pregnant when they both informed him of its possibility yesterday? "I'll let my sisters know to expect you." He knows. Neither is his wife, so therefore they don't fall under his responsibility but ours. I am so mad right now *Insert expletives here* Cultural protocol is so lack luster right now. To protect the line, she delivers the "I'm late" to us and we have to play the Banshee; Demand for a medical pregnancy test and follow it up with a paternity test. And if it's not his, we have to be the bearers of bad news, which will gut either girl and their families. Patriarchal Principal Wife Preservation; Her privileges and her rights. And as his older sisters, it's our responsibility to handle and manage the "I'm late." And I can't tell her/them or plead with her/them to consider termination; They gain through pregnancy. The very reason they do it. It's their qualifier. And the boys of our line are stupid, weak, irresponsible and reckless ~ born with a shield called cultural protocol that effectually protects their misdeeds.

The "I'm late" is a nightmare for women like me, whose roles determine a "Yay" or "Nay" to any conceived child. Unfortunately we aren't like the Native Americans of the US. They start getting their stipends at the age of 18. For some Tribes US$21K - US$100K per week. For us it's from birth, fortnightly, ranging from US$1K - $100K per month, depending on the allocations.

2014 off to a rrrRRroaring start. Super!