I also am a little confused.

I've calculated my activity on Scooby with both "lightly active" and "moderately active" because my non-lifting days are practically sedentary, whereas the days I lift coincide with higher daily activity (about 1-2 hours of walking around with the baby I sit for).

I'm tempted to just adopt the "control day" attitude and eat at the lower TDEE (2,100) on non-work out days, and the higher one (2,300) when I do, so essentially eating back the exercise calories. But does this not work for the reset? Should I just stick to one or the other?

Haha, sorry I wasn't any help OP, but we're in the same boat!

So for both of you - remember that the TDEE method takes your weekly expected activity level and averages it out to a daily level.

So the 2100 or whatever for 3-5 hrs weekly means obviously some days your TDEE is literally higher, some days lower.
Some days your have a smaller deficit, some days bigger.
But on average, it'll be some level.

So if you try to take 2 different levels as to 2 different days, you are not accomplishing the same thing.

If it's really that iffy of a routine, then indeed do it MFP style, just with reasonable deficit, eating back exercise calories. Of course, you'd take out the same 10% there too.
Because if the exercise was included in your TDEE, 10% of it would be removed there also.
(non-exercise activity + exercise) - 10% = (non-exercise - 10%) + (exercise - 10%)

Also be aware, almost EVERY estimator of calorie burn, HRM, machine, database table like MFP - includes not only the calories burned in the activity, but also what you would have burned anyway, your BMR at the bare minimum if you were sleeping. So like 80-100 calories needs to be removed from your exercise burn, and then 10% taken off.

If you exercise is different every day but consistent, who cares, use the TDEE deficit method and eat your set goal daily. It's easier to plan for, you learn where to put the calories, ect.

If you need help getting a better estimate of activity level and TDEE, use the spreadsheet on my profile page.
Stick on Simple Setup tab, fill in the stats you should have memorized or written down, fill in the Activity Calc with your normal expected routine, and there are your results.
Use the Progress tab to log your stats.

If you really want the exercise eat-back method, only fill in the Activity calc with increased daily activity (that burn with kids), and then go to the MFP Tweak tab, enter the Katch BMR shown and BMR multiplier shown, and there are your results to use. Bottom of page is place to put your calories burned and time for the workout, and that stuff I mentioned above is done automatically, telling you how much to log and eat-back.