Newbie :D
xsarix
Posts: 1
Hi I'm Sara (aka Sari.) 
I'm 32 (on April 19th) and I have been in and out of the Rooms since I was 19, due to my own denial (mostly brought on my family/relative/therapist 'peer' pressure) of the fact that I truly belong in OA. Which after today's…ahem…festivities is an all too glaring and resounding "YES!' that I truly and unequivocally know I do! ;-)
So to complicate things a bit, I have been receiving all kinds of guff from my folks and therapist lately, telling me that ' control what I put in my own mouth' etc. etc. and that 'nobody has control over this but [me]' and the choice is (has always been, etc.) [mine] and only mine, but that (continually) refuse to make a change (to my diet, eating habits, etc) so [they] don't know now how they can help [me] anymore.'
And when I try and tell then I have a disease, that I can't control; an Eating Disorder, like Anorexia or Bulimia; or an Addiction tantamount to Alcoholism or Drug Addiction they just shake their heads and tell me to 'stop arguing' with them or 'making excuses for [my] (so-called) bad behavior'; sometimes even to go so far as to say to me, it's your life, Sara, if you wanna be buried in a [Piano] crate next week, that's fine- we'll just go pick out a burial plot for you, then.'
*frustrated sigh*
But I know, deep down, as I always have when I first tried to get in Program at age 19, almost 13 years ago, that I had- have, rather, a problem. And that I am not a 'normal eater'. That is Step 1! ;-)
So I emailed my sponsor and I am going to text her tomorrow to see if she has time to talk to me (she travels a lot on weekends); otherwise I will correspond with her simply by text. Worse comes to worse, I don't ear from her via email or phone (after I send out the initial text) tomorrow, I will call someone else from the Rooms (I have a very long phone list I use.)
But in any case, we are expecting snow tomorrow and since I don't drive in inclement weather (and I'll be darned if my folks would drive me to a meeting) I will use phone or online meetings- but just to get to 30 in 30, no matter how, because I'm starting back at Step 1, is my goal now in any case.
Just so glad I found this community - and I know it doesn't replace Program or the 12 Steps- but it's nice to see I am not alone here on MFP!
Sending out lots of positive vibes for a healthy, abstinent night to you all! xxxx Sari
I'm 32 (on April 19th) and I have been in and out of the Rooms since I was 19, due to my own denial (mostly brought on my family/relative/therapist 'peer' pressure) of the fact that I truly belong in OA. Which after today's…ahem…festivities is an all too glaring and resounding "YES!' that I truly and unequivocally know I do! ;-)
So to complicate things a bit, I have been receiving all kinds of guff from my folks and therapist lately, telling me that ' control what I put in my own mouth' etc. etc. and that 'nobody has control over this but [me]' and the choice is (has always been, etc.) [mine] and only mine, but that (continually) refuse to make a change (to my diet, eating habits, etc) so [they] don't know now how they can help [me] anymore.'
And when I try and tell then I have a disease, that I can't control; an Eating Disorder, like Anorexia or Bulimia; or an Addiction tantamount to Alcoholism or Drug Addiction they just shake their heads and tell me to 'stop arguing' with them or 'making excuses for [my] (so-called) bad behavior'; sometimes even to go so far as to say to me, it's your life, Sara, if you wanna be buried in a [Piano] crate next week, that's fine- we'll just go pick out a burial plot for you, then.'
*frustrated sigh*
But I know, deep down, as I always have when I first tried to get in Program at age 19, almost 13 years ago, that I had- have, rather, a problem. And that I am not a 'normal eater'. That is Step 1! ;-)
So I emailed my sponsor and I am going to text her tomorrow to see if she has time to talk to me (she travels a lot on weekends); otherwise I will correspond with her simply by text. Worse comes to worse, I don't ear from her via email or phone (after I send out the initial text) tomorrow, I will call someone else from the Rooms (I have a very long phone list I use.)
But in any case, we are expecting snow tomorrow and since I don't drive in inclement weather (and I'll be darned if my folks would drive me to a meeting) I will use phone or online meetings- but just to get to 30 in 30, no matter how, because I'm starting back at Step 1, is my goal now in any case.
Just so glad I found this community - and I know it doesn't replace Program or the 12 Steps- but it's nice to see I am not alone here on MFP!
Sending out lots of positive vibes for a healthy, abstinent night to you all! xxxx Sari
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Replies
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Sari, welcome to the group! I understand your frustration when others around you do not understand this disease. I'm lucky to have a family who understand and support 12 step programs, as most of them are in the medical field. I use MFP as a supplemental source to my program, and that's okay, but meetings, the big book and the steps keeps my sanity in check. I've worked the steps twice formally, now I'm at the point where I practice them as if my life depended on it. I like that I can come to the forums and share any experience, strength and hope to help my fellow sufferer!!!0
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Thanks for sharing!0
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:flowerforyou:
Lots of loving kindness...Wanda0 -
Keep coming back!0
