I just finished my 2nd half marathon yesterday, only 21k. But a few years ago would never have imagined myself running leave alone a half marathon 2 years successively.
So, congrats on your training. Our mind is our biggest ally or biggest enemy. what you witnessed was one end and the other end is there too. I think of my long runs as meditations, whenever my mind goes astray I lead it on by saying I can do it till the next bend and then the next and so on, I count steps totalling how many thousands I have taken, I focus on my breath.inhale left foot exhale, inhale right foot, I say my prayers, I revel in Nature's beauty
I pat my thighs and thank my knees, muscles and bones for allowing me to live my dream. I hope you find something to help you.

I think you are over-reacting. That's why you do those training runs before actually running the race, so you gain experience and learn what it is like.
Next time you try it -- I believe your training has two more 18 milers (?) and a 20-miler -- you'll be a little bit stronger from having done this bad one, and you will know what to expect.
It is all about learning, and getting a little bit stronger, and a little bit stronger, and a little bit stronger.

I have not trained for a Marathon, but just recently completed my first Half Marathon. My last two long runs (11 and 12) were mentally hard. For my 11 mile run around mile 8 or 9 my brain started to play tricks on me. I had similar thoughts as you. What am I doing here, why am I doing this, my head kept telling me to stop but my legs keep telling me to go and finish the run.
I asked myself if I cannot run 11 miles and I am doubting myself how can I run 13.1. I wondered if I could do it, if I could finish that race.

My 12 mile run was again mentally tough, it is amazing what the brain can do to you. But I managed to finish and it felt good not to let my brain win.

During my Half Marathon I did not let my brain play that game with me, I somehow zoned out ( I run with music) my goal was to finish and when there was a time that my brain wanted to tell me that I could not do it. I just kept telling myself "believe in your training, you got this. You have run this distance before no big deal." somehow that helped to bring me back to the race and not get lost in my head.

Good luck on your Marathon, and great job on getting out there.

I'm just going to kind of echo what some others have said about mental toughness being at least as important (if not more important) as physical toughness. I have yet to run a full but I ran as far as 16 miles getting ready for my last half. I had some 12 mile runs where I just wanted to quit and felt like a big piece of *kitten* who shouldn't even be trying to run and I had some 15 milers that I felt like I could have sprinted another ten when I was finished. Hell I've had some 5 or 6 mile runs where I was doubting myself. I think it's good to have overcome these mental obstacles and remember that you did. So when they come up again you can tell them to eff off because you've done it already. About two or three weeks before my last half my long run buddy took me on an extremely hilly 14 mile run (he called it a "confidence builder"). And when we got to the top of the tallest hill he told me that I had done really well taking that hill and I should carry that in my back pocket during the race because there was nothing on the course as tough as that hill. Keeping your triumphs in mind is a huge help when doubt rears its head.

And despite having a number of 14 and 15 mile runs and one 16 in preparation for the half marathon there were still some unexpected conditions and at mile 8 of all places I got into my head too much and had pretty much decided that this race would be the last time I ever ran. But I was able to pull from my training and when I saw the sign for mile 10 I told myself "Hey, that's just 5K to go, no problem." And I was strong for the rest of the race and beat my goal.

The physical part is very often much easier than the mental but I think if you have a good base physically you can lean on that when the mental part starts fcking with you.

I am still trying to figure out my marathon pace

No bueno.
You've put a lot of effort into running, is there some to not figure out your training/running paces?

I had been carrying a camelbak for water and from what I can tell my hydration was good. I was also trying to consume some tasty (gross) gu packs every 6 miles. Pre-run I took a caffeine tablet for 200mg (I am a huge caffeine junkie) so I believed my nutrition was on point.

Based on what Fitzgerald, and others, have written about caffeine, I would not use caffeine during a training run. Caffeine can be helpful for endurance athletes (the data I've seen shows that it extends the time to exhaustion more than increasing output) but, per Fitz, a "caffeine junky" would need to stop caffeine two weeks prior to the race and then ingest caffeine just prior to the race.
The book by Fitz is about nutrition for the half and the full - it's about $10 for Kindle.

Is this what boinking feels like or did I just let my head wander to far off base?

Based on the amount of carbs you were ingesting, you didn't bonk in the classic sense but, based on what you've written, something got "inside your head". Any chance it was the shot of caffeine? I ask that 'cause I used beetroot juice before a Half last month and, for the first time ever, I "daydreamed" for some of the early parts of the race.

Good luck with this and with your race.

This was a good calculator for me too: http://www.mcmillanrunning.com

I took my best 5k time to figure out my pace for a half. And it was really pretty accurate.

Great thread - some brilliant points made in here.

I only started running in July last year and have never ran farther than so I'm fairly softcore!

I was getting concerned by my duathlon this coming weekend but after reading this I am full of renewed motivation and vigour..it is "only" 12km run and 24km ride - offroad and to some this is a lot...in reality...I can do it..and I know I can. I need to just man up - see that other people are breaking barriers, taking mental beatings and coming back for more.

Go big or go home!

I'm going to get some time for a half and a full marathon before I am 40.

Keep at it people

I heard this on the radio on the way to work this morning (it's a quote from a movie):

The hard is what makes it great.

I have the same negative thoughts when I am on a long run. I wonder what the hell I am doing this for and vow that in the future, I will just do shorter programs for shorter races. Then I wake up the next day ready to tackle whatever is on the schedule for the day. Give the negative thoughts their space, and then let them go. It's not normal to run 15, 20, 26.2, etc, etc. It's hard. And that's what makes it great. People who have never attempted it will never understand. I haven't run a marathon yet, but I have a new found respect for those that have. It's an amazing accomplishment.

Because it's hard.

And that's what makes it great.


Keep on, keeping on!

My head often gets the best of me, but usually not until race day. To prevent this in training when I'm conquering a new distance, I have a couple of tricks I try.

1. Lower my mileage. If I'm stressed about 14, I'll only go out for 10, take the pressure off. I'll keep it in the back of my mind that if i feel good, i'll keep going. On these days i generally make it the 14. Possibly even more.

2. Eat a good breakfast. I know a lot of people believe in fasted running. It doesn't really work for me for so many reasons. So i have oatmeal made with milk, fruit and coffee before heading out. If not I get distracted by my hunger early on and it ruins the run. My practice for runs over 13 miles is to have a snack at the one and two hour mark. Usually baby food pouches, banana and blueberry is my favorite. Powerbar makes one with more adult packaging, but with a steeper price tag. I have have the pouch at the first hour and the rest at the second.

3. New music. When conquering a new distance, I always treat myself to some new tunes that I've never listened to while running. Nice distraction.

4. Run slower than my long run pace. For long runs over 13, I lower my pace to la-ti-da, I could run all day pace. 10:30. For shorter long runs I'm usually 9:40 these days, in good conditions. My goal is to finish my extra long runs feeling like I could keep going and feeling like I don't need a nap after. A 10:30 pace works for me for this, but i do have to make a huge effort not to run my normal pace.

5. Positive thinking. I start telling myself I can do it 4 days before the big day. On my shorter runs during the week I tell myself "Of course you can run 16 miles! That's easy! Just take it slow and have fun!"

Of course my longest run at this point has only been 16 miles, with a 17th mile of walking up a very steep hill at the end. I won't be up to the 18-20 range until early may, but i plan to use these strategies then.

Training for a marathon is hard! So good for you for taking on the challenge! I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle it myself with schedule constraints so that's why I'm currently trying out marathon training without a race on the calendar to see how it goes. I'm currently in week 8 of my 18 week plan.

Anyway, try and brush it off as one bad run and start looking ahead to the next one. You can do it!

"But in the end, on the long term: You get it done. Because you decided to do it. So you do."

Love that

Let me second Legallyblonde, you are training too hard (IMO).

Granted, at age 60, I am not a speed demon, but I also have two marathons under my belt since November 2013 and am preparing for No. 3 in April.

How fast can you run the single mile without puking? Take that pace, multiply that by 1.3 and that is your approximate pace for a marathon with all the associated training running towards your maximum limit.

Personally, I follow a plan that has the long, slow endurance runs set at two minutes per mile SLOWER than the theoretical marathon pace (at 60 °F or lower. Add 30 seconds per mile for every 5 degrees above 60 °F). There is some divergent view on how fast you should go but most do not suggest that you run anywhere near what your race pace is going to be unless you are willing to rest one day for every mile that you run those long runs at that pace (that is the generally guideline for marathon recovery if you are putting out your maximum effort for the 26.2 miles). You can do some shorter distance speed work at higher intensity and it is all about pushing your limits. But the real progress comes not from pushing, but from recovering.

Two other things. First, everyone I know that trains for marathons (that aren't keeping some high level of preparedness between marathons spaced a few weeks or months apart) experiences the following: Every time the mileage from the previous long run is exceeded, the feeling of fatigue begins to set in. And when fatigue sets in, so do doubts and you realize that this is really, really hard.

Second, every once in a while you'll have a really bad run. Training for my first marathon, my runs at 6, 8 and 10 miles were good. My run at 12 miles was a breeze even in extremely warm and humid conditions. But the run of 14 miles was a disaster and I kept telling myself I could go faster under the conditions that I should or could. I would have been much better off walking the entire 14 miles and it would have been more effective and accomplished the same endurance benefits. I really doubted I was going to be able to do a marathon and maybe should lower my goal to a half instead.

Fortunately, the runs at 17, 20 (in the rain. it was good practice because most marathons go on rain or shine with the exception of severe weather) and 23 were great.

But the 26 miler four weeks before the race, not so good. Oh, it was good up through 24 miles and it quickly went downhill from there. Lesson learned was be careful with water that is too cold to really take into your stomach. Swirl it around in your mouth, let it cool the blood around your mouth and tongue. A shock to your stomach and intestines can be pretty painful. I made it through ,but I wasn't as satisfied as I had been with the previous long runs.

Oh, one other thing...don't make up for something you "missed" or didn't feel like you didn't do enough of in the last 3-4 weeks of your race. It can really drag you down. Three weeks before my first marathon, I was to do a 10-mile run. It's hard for me to run in an exclusively flat area here, but I chose an extra hilly area and did 1600 vertical feet in 10 miles. Trust me, that was not smart. It took all three weeks to have my legs feel like I had recovered while doing my weekday and other weekend runs...and I had to slow way down.

My second marathon on February 6th, I felt seriously undertrained because of so many issues associated with taking care of my wife after her knee replacement surgery. I missed a lot of short and long training runs and my longest training run was 18 miles (scheduled for 20 but I couldn't stay warm enough so I bagged it at 18). But the runs I did were quality runs and on the shorter runs, I was actually faster than I had been prior to my first marathon. I had the advantage of having run a marathon, knew how my body held up (or didn't) and was running a fairly flat course at Hilton Head. It was cold and wet. The week before they had ice everywhere. On marathon day, it started raining at mile 3 and it basically rained until mile 22 with a couple of very short breaks at mile 17. I couldn't control that but I could choose how hard to run and how good I could feel at the end.

As a small marathon, I had less opportunity to challenge myself by "winding people in" but I made a game of it when I could. And I enjoyed the moment of nothing feeling seriously hurt (tired, yes) at the end of the race.

Here's the deal. Run the marathon not to exhaustion, but to completion. Know at the end, that you had something left when you came across the line and that you can complete it and feel strong. Then give yourself at least a week, maybe two, before you swear it off for whatever reason or say you are ready to go for the next one.

But when you show up at the start, you'll have to make an assessment of how you are doing that day. Know that you are in an elite group. Resist the temptation to go out too fast just because you get caught up with the crowd or you feel really great. And don't sweat the occasional down day. If you've done the training (and the marathon distance is so honest that you have to do the training), then you should do fine.

Enjoy the moment. It occurs only once on the completion of your first marathon. Non-marathoners or people who imagine what it might be like will be in awe of you.