Crap

Options
sarahp86
sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
Ultimate binge day... I consumed over 4,500 calls with no exercise. Feel like ****, very lonely and depressed today ( for no good reason btw) just one of those days. Am very anxious and panicky and would love a hug :(

Am dreading having an empty bed tonight because my bf is away

Replies

  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    Options
    Oh, I'm so sorry that you are having a bad day! ((hug)) Good for you for recognizing how you're feeling. I read your post and was impressed that you were able to acknowledge what's really at the root of your binge.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    Options
    after a binge, do you truly feel like being touched or curling up with another person, especially your SO? i tend to feel so disgusting and worthless i don't feel like i deserve nor want any human contact. i can't imagine actually longing for my SO after such a shameful (to me, i always feel ashamed - not saying you are/should be at all!!) act. just a different perspective - i'm not trying to hate or anything, i'm honestly amazed at seeing you express your want for your boyfriend to share your bed with you after a binge.
  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    Options
    after a binge, do you truly feel like being touched or curling up with another person, especially your SO? i tend to feel so disgusting and worthless i don't feel like i deserve nor want any human contact. i can't imagine actually longing for my SO after such a shameful (to me, i always feel ashamed - not saying you are/should be at all!!) act. just a different perspective - i'm not trying to hate or anything, i'm honestly amazed at seeing you express your want for your boyfriend to share your bed with you after a binge.

    This is an interesting perspective. When I feel ashamed (from a binge or just a low self-esteem moment), I get a little clingy with my husband because I want to feel comforted and loved. I guess we all have different coping mechanisms.

    Disclaimer: I'm not speaking on behalf of the OP, just myself.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Options
    after a binge, do you truly feel like being touched or curling up with another person, especially your SO? i tend to feel so disgusting and worthless i don't feel like i deserve nor want any human contact. i can't imagine actually longing for my SO after such a shameful (to me, i always feel ashamed - not saying you are/should be at all!!) act. just a different perspective - i'm not trying to hate or anything, i'm honestly amazed at seeing you express your want for your boyfriend to share your bed with you after a binge.

    I'm like you. When in self-loathing binge aftermath, I don't want even my DH cuddling, snuggling, hugging on me.

    But there is no right or wrong way, I want to stress that!

    Sorry about your bad day OP. I've been there manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy a times, it stinks!
  • melmckay99
    melmckay99 Posts: 358
    Options
    I wish I could crave affection after a binge like you. I hate being touched or wanted or even just looked at by my BF after a binge. It is really taking a toll on my relationship. I hate myself for what I do to my body, and I am ashamed, embarassed and guitly...I don't want to expose all that to him...

    Has anyone had much luck with counseling/therapy or seeing a psychiatrist? What about supoprt groups? I need to try something different cause whatever it is I'm doing now is clrealy not working.....
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    Options
    I only opened up to my BF in January. We're together 19 months. He's trying to be understanding and he's very supportive, he just doesn't get why I do it. I never tell him when I bing but he just seems to know.
    He doesn't judge me but I feel like a fraud when I binge and hide the wrappers or lie about what I did. I'm currently doing CBT with a psychologist and I'm seeing a nutritionist next week. I want to beat this. I'm sick of ot controlling my life!!

    And afte a binge I need comfort so I don't feel completely worthless. I get clingy and moody and need to feel loved
  • eso2012
    eso2012 Posts: 337 Member
    Options
    I had 2, almost 3, bad months (and BED has not happened for years)....and I can completely relate to your feelings. Yesterday was Day 0 of a new me, I know how to beat this thing because I have been through so many related issues. I have the best support at home and with friends. Glad to know you are doing CBT. I am off to my doctor too. Take care and hugs.