Dilemma...HELP!
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mjharman
Posts: 251 Member
My dilemma is this...Is it OK to be selfish?
Here it goes...
I have a friend at work. Before I began this journey, I weighed 75 pounds more than she did. But while losing the weight that I have, she has gained some, and now I weigh about 25 pounds or so less than she does.
I've given her all kinds of advice, told her about MyFitnessPal and counting calories, and I've tried to help her. Unfortunately, she tends to believe that the answer lies in fad diets and spending money. I think her latest idea is to try Nutrisystem, but she also wants to add exercise.
So she has come up with a plan that, when my current semester is over and the weather is nice, we should walk together after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
My issue with this is that I already have a workout plan, which she is completely aware of, and Thursdays are my dedicated RUN days...they are not WALK days...they are Couch-2-5K training RUN days...
Is it selfish of me to want to keep with my current schedule?
Or should I put my own workout regimen aside to help out a friend? :frown:
Here it goes...
I have a friend at work. Before I began this journey, I weighed 75 pounds more than she did. But while losing the weight that I have, she has gained some, and now I weigh about 25 pounds or so less than she does.
I've given her all kinds of advice, told her about MyFitnessPal and counting calories, and I've tried to help her. Unfortunately, she tends to believe that the answer lies in fad diets and spending money. I think her latest idea is to try Nutrisystem, but she also wants to add exercise.
So she has come up with a plan that, when my current semester is over and the weather is nice, we should walk together after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
My issue with this is that I already have a workout plan, which she is completely aware of, and Thursdays are my dedicated RUN days...they are not WALK days...they are Couch-2-5K training RUN days...
Is it selfish of me to want to keep with my current schedule?
Or should I put my own workout regimen aside to help out a friend? :frown:
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Replies
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keep your schedule and maybe suggest different days like Monday and Wednesday. You are doing good and need to keep at it for you!0
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Keep to your schedule but maybe suggest a day that would work for you to walk with her if there is one - maybe you can walk at lunchtime and burn a few extra calories if after work doesn't work. You probably are inspiring her to do something about her weight as she sees you being successful but she hasn't yet figured out what will work for her. We each have to come to it on our own.0
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Honey, in order to care for other's we must take care of ourselves. Perhaps let her know how proud you are she is ready to take steps towards fitness and than explain your established routine. Is it possible to find some time to help her get in her work out groove? I bet she is really inspired by your success
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I agree with the others. You have found what works for you, your friend needs to find what works for them and if they can't be accommodating to your schedule than they need to go their own way. Point out that's your run day to your friend and let them know you'll happily make another time for them.0
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I believe we should all be selfish when it comes to what is best for us. You have your routine and there is no reason to change it for her. I like the idea of alternate suggestions (as long as you want to walk with her). For me personally this is a singular journey and I don't have anyone else I depend on for my eating or workout. My husband I and go to the gym on Sunday mornings and my friend joins us -- or not. We just go whether she is there or not and vice versa -- for sunday only.
We all have to come to this on our own. I arrived at MFP because of my brother. We don't see each other often but last year I noticed about may he was losing weight. I mentioned it and he started to yap about his fabulous APP (I hate APP's LOL) call My Fitness Pal, older sister just let it wash over her and I grabbed another cookie. In August we were in Vegas for his wedding and I hadn't seen him since that time in May - he was now officially 'skinny' and again he bathered about MFP. Still older sister didn't listen. A few weeks later I saw pictures from Vegas and the one of me in my kayak -- my brain finally decided to check out this My Fitness Pal and well the rest is history.
I wish your friend the best -- Nutrisystem works -- I lost over 70 pounds -- the following year I found them again plus 10....sighs.
It's all about the maintenance and this is the difference with this, we are responsible for ourselves to lose the weight, make the nutrition choices and I think this whole journey is training for maintenance. That has always been my downfall - -the maintenance.
Joanne0 -
I agree with everyone else. You have dedicated yourself to your program, and while it is awesome to want to help your friend, that is how we keep ending up depriving ourselves of the things we need in order to be healthy and happy.
If she is truly a friend, she will understand your needing to stay focused, and since she is more able to be flexible in that regard, hopefully she will be okay with another day.
Stick to your guns.
Guilt is a powerful weapon, just remember that if others use it against us, they are not friends. If we use it against ourselves, we have only ourselves to blame when we are unhappy. We are female, it goes against our grain to think that way, but if we want to succeed at this, we have to. Caring for ourselves is not selfish, it is necessary for us to be there for those we care about and to be the best person we can be when doing so,0 -
Thank you all SO MUCH! You all have mimicked the words of my husband, as well!
My friend is an extrovert, and I am an introvert. While this helps us get along most of the time...she talks incessantly while I listen...it is why I prefer to do my workouts alone. I also find her exhausting sometimes...although I hate to admit it! LOL! I do care and I want her to find success, too.
Monday and Wednesdays I go to the Y and do Zumba and Body Pump, which is why she suggested Tuesdays and Thursdays I guess.
However, Tuesdays are currently school nights for me, and Fridays I usually don't exercise. Once school is out, I have two options: I can walk on Tuesdays and Thursdays with her, and run on Fridays...although that will be tough because I usually do running intervals around Salem Lake on Saturdays, so that would not give me a day of rest in between. I would probably have to switch that to Sundays, although I prefer Saturday mornings because my husband is working and I get it in first thing on the weekend. Sometimes when I push it to Sundays, it doesn't happen!
I think I will suggest walking on Tuesdays and Fridays instead.
Your kind words mean so much to me. I don't know what I would do without the support of each and every one of you!
MUCH LOVE!
~Marsha0 -
Tuesday and Friday sounds great. Stick with YOUR plan and your goals. You're a great friend to add her into your schedule. Not changing your schedule for her!!!!!
You're doing great!0
