E.D. Recovery & Weight Loss

Join

Ignore this.

Options
letmerun
letmerun Posts: 15
in Social Groups
How do you do it? I know eating healthy and exercising is better and healthier in the long run but sometimes i wish i could just starve myself away because. . . well, because i want to get there faster.
I want to go back to the time i had control, even if it meant torturing myself to stay under 1000 calories and running about 10 km every day. I don't want comfort, i don't want it to be easy, i want to earn it.

I don't know, just a rant about how i could do or be so much more. I've gained so much since i'm home that i can't even run propely. I don't last that long anymore or i just get bored.

Need some "fresh blood", motivation. Somebody slap me in the face before i accept myself as a fat blob.

Replies

  • skrlec70
    skrlec70 Posts: 302 Member
    Options
    how are you doing ?
  • letmerun
    letmerun Posts: 15
    Options
    I am not giving up so easily so. . . starting over and trying to stay on track.
  • wisteriafleur
    wisteriafleur Posts: 24 Member
    Options
    its been a trial for me as well hun. i used to make myself eat only 200-300 calorie diets a day and now it barely seems to phase me to eat only 600-800. its been a step each day to try and get to a point in caloric intake where i dont place my body in starvation mode. my problems have always been that i will either binge or starve and its very difficult for me to get a medium. still today it makes me tear up a bit to think about the pain i have suffered already from abusing my body to such a degree. and a friend on MFP asked me yesterday how i felt back then and the only way i could describe it was "soul shredding, like i was falling into an ever growing dark pit with no hope or light in sight for me. like i was being torn in all directions" i dont know if anyone else has ever felt that way but i can already tell from joining this group and making friends (including you skrlec) that as long as you are determined and dont let it control; try and improve yourself (when it comes to eating healthy and exercise) that you CAN do it.

    so add me letmerun
    If we have to struggle to stay on track then i sure as hell am going to make sure to try my best to be motivational for you also

    ive had enough of wanting to just stop eating and waste away again
    we are the ones in control (thanks for reminding me skrlec)

    [sorry if i seem like i got a little emotional. its been one of those days for me]

Categories