"Just exercise more and eat salads"
Options
Cheryl188
Posts: 114 Member
Yes, this was said to me by someone I considered a friend. I've known her for a year and she's the motherly type so I felt I could confide in her about my decision to have WLS. I was stunned to the point of speachless when that was her comment to me. The only thing I could say was "It's not just that easy." Since then I've felt bitter towards her, but I'm trying not to because I know you can't always blame people for their ignorance.
Moving forward. Head held high!
Moving forward. Head held high!
0
Replies
-
What a lot of people do not realize is that a salad can have more that 1200 calories. It is also amazing the reaction people have to surgery. Good luck and keep your head up.0
-
I've heard stupid comments like that too many times! Even my (former) PCP told me I shouldn't have WLS, I should just diet and exercise! She was my doc for 12 years and never once talked to me about weight. Last week I told a co-worker that I'd had WLS (she asked). Then she told me if I just used portion control I wouldn't have needed the surgery! People who have not been obese can be ignorant of the real struggles obese people face. If it was easy, we wouldn't be fat! Ignore the comments and keep doing what's right for you
0 -
I think we've all felt or heard this before. I used to hate going to doctors because I was told I needed to lose weight. I had hypertension and the doctor refused to put me on medication and instead told me to lose weight. There are many doctors who refuse to see obese/overweight patients. It's just sad how much discrimination there is against folks who are obese.
You want to know what the really sad part is. For those that do the discrimination are themselves overweight/obese, or know somebody who is. In the US, over half of the population is either overweight or obese! In July, 4th 2013 there were 315.1 million in the US. 176.8 of them are either overweight or obese. With about half of those being obese (BMI of 30+). So yeah, the odds are great that they have an overweight friend or family member, but yet they discriminate against those they find unappealing due to weight.
Add to that somebody who isn't overweight, or doesn't perceive themselves as overweight have never known what kind of struggle it is to lose weight AND keep it off. If it really was that simple, then a good 50% of the country wouldn't be overweight/obese. If it were that easy, then why are there so many fad diets, or diet supplements/pills? The ignorance of people sometimes just astounds me.0 -
The ignorance of people astounds me, too. Exercise more and eat salad? Really? (As if you never thought of that or tried that?) What really gets me is that some people think WLS is the easy way out, and we all know it isn't. We have to work hard at making it work. For some reason, as the weight has been coming off, NOW people want to give me advice on how to lose weight. I just say "Thanks for the advice" and then ignore it. Maybe practice saying that :-) Don't let anyone bring you down about your decision. You know what's right for you!0
-
Someone on here made a comment once that being overweight is very public, and people think they have the right (or responsibility in some cases) to "help" you with your struggle. It's so true. I'm sure she's well-meaning, but if she's a friend, and her comment bothers you - then you have to decide if it's worth addressing with her. Only my closest friends know I've had surgery, and they truly care about my success because they've seen that I wasn't loading up on bonbons and chips in front of the TV everyday, but couldn't get my weight down. Still, if they said something I found offensive i would explain to them why it hurt my feelings. Even MFP forums often simplify weight loss as calories in < calories out for guaranteed success. That's true in it's most dumbed-down form, however there are so many individual factors that play into it (as I am sure everyone who has had WLS knows). Some of us choose to try to educate when we hear uninformed comments, other choose to hit the mental "ignore" button. Either way, your opinion of what is right to do for your own body and health is the only one that counts.0
-
Pre-surgery, I had a few conversations with friends and family. It was suprising to hear the negative comments such as, "that's the easy way out" or "just push away from the table." At that point, I didn't argue with them. I figured that I would quietly have my surgery and privately go about my life. I had the surgery and initially only told a few people. Then I started to build my knowledge base on healthy living and saw just how much work I was putting into my new lifestyle. I felt it was a huge injustice for people to criticize my decision without having all of the facts. That's when I publicly announced on social media and to anyone that asked, that I had weight loss surgery. I would no longer perpetuate the inaccurate rumor that WLS is the easy way out with my silence. The reactions to my announcement were mostly positive. The majority of people are incredibly supportive and just ask questions out of curiosity or because they have a loved one that is considering it or considering it themselves. My public declaration and honest reaction to inquisitors also opens my decision up to criticism. These are merely opportunities to educate the ignorant. Some people are stubborn and if they try to debate, I end the conversation and move on. But all in all, most people are respectful of my personal decision. If you encounter a nay-sayer, try to educate them and keep moving forward. Keep in mind that no matter what, this decision was for you and your future health.0
-
All that matters are your results and your long term health. Look them in the eye and tell them you finally learned what it would take to make yourself healthy and are working real hard to keep it that way. Say it with confidence and pride. The naysayers are looking for power and control, just like a bully. They percieved you as weak becasue of an inability to control your weight, allows them to feel superior. Display strength and conviction and they will back off.
WLS is not the easy way out. It is a major decision that requires a great deal of effort. You must work through 6 months to a year of medical work ups. You must attend workshops and nutritionist consults and adhere to a very strict pre-op diet. After all that you must develop new eating habits and start an exercise regimine in order to have long term success.
In the end my sleeve just provided me with a jump start and a fail safe to limit my ability to overeat. Like a "shock collar" my sleeve helped me learn what over full feels like and helps me monitor myself.
Now if the person who made that comment to you does not have a perfect body I would wait until you get in better shape and then point out that they could benefit from a salad. 0 -
This is the primary reason I have told no-one about my WLS except immediate family, SO and 2 friends. I will tell strangers, like salespeople trying to help me find new clothes for my new body. But never ever tell anyone who might voice a crappy opinion.
I spent my ENTIRE life being judged for being overweight. I REFUSE to be judged now that I am no longer fat becasue of my choice of how to chnage my weight. My days of having to drastically overcompensate for my weight to be considered a useful and worthwhile human, lover, employee, co-worker, woman, student, friend are over. that more than anything is WELL WORTH any tribulation regrding WLS.0 -
I told only my team at work before surgery. I tell everyone who asks now. And a lot of folks are asking and complimenting me as I'm 75% of the way to my goal of 135 lbs. I've had very few negative comments, (if any, now that I think about it). I'm honest because I know that either they or someone they know is struggling with this disease called obesity. They may be comparing their struggle to mine and feeling bad about their progress. It's not a fair comparison. I have a fantastic tool that they don't. In this way if I can educate someone who needs the information I'm going to do it. If their opinion is negative, it really doesn't matter to me. It's their loss to have a closed mind.0
-
I was very open about my decision to get the sleeve before and after the surgery. I knew that having me suddenly losing so much weight so quickly my family/friends/coworkers would either think I was really sick or guess WLS, so why bother trying to avoid it. I had one very close friend question what I was doing and her concern was a valid one. She had watched me try and fail so many times she was concerned that this would be just one more faliure and after surgery no less. She recommended specific diet plans and more exercise instead. I know she meant well, but as my PCP said, once you hit a certain point in obesity, diet and exercise alone no longer work and I was way past that point. In the 2 plus years since surgery, my friend has seen my commitment to healthy eating and my new lifestyle (food and exercise). No I haven't made my goal weight yet, but I haven't given up either. And she is now very supportive, in fact everyone in my life is or at the very least, they keep the negative to themselves.
I talk about my weight loss a lot because I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far and because if I can help just one obese person find the solution to their obesity, then it's worth any negitive comments I might have to endure. Don't let anyone keep you from your success and your joy. Be proud of yourself, because WLS is a tool, it's not a magic bullett. Losing the weight and keeping it off is all us, doing what we need to and using our tool to make it happen.0 -
Hi Cheryl,
I'm now what... (checks calendar), 17 days out from Surgery on the 2nd...
When I started this journey and made the initial decision in October of last year, I was very open about it to anyone who asked. Heck, I was proud to have made a decision to try and fix my life...
What I found, like your experience, is that some people -- even those you trust and love -- can offer the most ignorant of opinions. My dad, for example was "just eat 1/2 of what you do now and you'll be fine"... Heart breaking to say the least, and from that moment on, my level of sharing with others pretty much bottomed out.
Then it dawned on me that no one except me knows the challenges I face in life.
It's probably incredibly difficult for people who've never weighed more than 180 pounds in their life to understand that sometimes losing weight is FAR more difficult than they could even imagine... Certainly harder than just "eating more salads"...
If you've searched your soul and come to the conclusion that you need to change and that you NEED this tool in your arsenal to fix your own life, I say "congratulations" and "bravo!".. It's not an easy road, and the surgery itself certainly isn't the be all, end all of the journey, but it's one huge first step in the right direction...
Those who offer differing opinions simply don't have the ability to understand your needs, so to bleep with them, and bully for you!
Good luck..
Wayne0 -
Wait - exercise and salads?!? Why did I never think of that?!? Think of the money I could have saved, and how long ago I could have been thin if I had only thought of more exercising and eating salads. Wow. Amazing that I never would have though or tried that.
I am lucky that most of the people I interact with are generally supportive and not judgmental about the surgery. It is NOT the easy way out that some seem to think that it is. It is a tool, in support of a life change. People that say 'Well, why didn't you just...." are clueless to the problems of the obese or food-addicted, and this is just one way that their ignorance manifests itself. I am going on 46 years old. I have had "weight issues" almost my entire life, so yeah, I have probably tried darn near everything that anyone can come up with, with varying degrees of success and failure.
Everyone has their own path to health and weight-loss, and it is up to you what tools you use to get there. Find what works for you, and be comfortable with that path.
Now, if only someone would come up with the calorie burn for restraining yourself from smacking an idiot...I'm sure I'd go over my daily allotment....0 -
Now, if only someone would come up with the calorie burn for restraining yourself from smacking an idiot...I'm sure I'd go over my daily allotment....
If I could count calories from doing this I wouldn't need to work out :-)0 -
Now, if only someone would come up with the calorie burn for restraining yourself from smacking an idiot...I'm sure I'd go over my daily allotment....
If I could count calories from doing this I wouldn't need to work out :-)
+10
