Redefining ME
weather_nerd
Posts: 93
Hi fellow 30-somethings!
I have been flip flopping on this idea for a long time. I no longer know who I really am. The image I portray isn't something I'm happy with. For example, I really haven't given a hoot about how I look or dress for a long time. I haven't worked out in a long time. I just feel blah.
Anyone else in need of this too?
L.
I have been flip flopping on this idea for a long time. I no longer know who I really am. The image I portray isn't something I'm happy with. For example, I really haven't given a hoot about how I look or dress for a long time. I haven't worked out in a long time. I just feel blah.
Anyone else in need of this too?
L.
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Replies
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Redefine simply means - give new meaning to.
I believe as humans we all go through several redefining phases in our lives. I think our 30's are such a monumental phase as most of us are coming into our own - establishing a firm career, getting married (or divorced), starting families; you know, growing up.
These stresses can take a toll on our bodies and minds and now is really the time to "redefine" ourselves to get ready for the next phase in life. We are young enough and strong enough to make that change.
Confidence in myself is something I have been really working hard on this past year. Yeah, it's great meeting your weight goal or pant size goal, whatever but if you still are downing yourself, finding/looking for flaws rather than focusing on strengths then you really won't be happy with that accomplishment once its met.
Me personally, I always feel good when I put on nice clothes for work or out socially, wear make up, do something with my unkempt curly hair, etc. you get my point. When I look at myself in the mirror I feel like I am reflecting a good image about myself. When I work out whether it be just walking around the block or jumping on the elliptical, afterwards I feel strong which in turn makes me feels good about me.
I say find your niche- what makes you feel good about being your awesome self and DO IT! There is no need to feel blah. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a blah day but you should not be feeling blah about you. :flowerforyou:
There are several of us actives on here, feel free to add any of us. This truly is a good community. :0)
You got this and change that gloomy profile pic, STAT!
xo,
Jo0 -
LOL! Gloomy profile pic? I LOVE the weather! I LOVE storms! Now that's something I'm interested in! I am a self-proclaimed weather nerd. If there's severe weather coming I will glue myself to the tv and watch the warnings, hahahah!0
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I have to agree with Jo.....find what makes you happy and incorporate it any way you can into your life. My 30's have definitely been interesting so far....some good and some not so good. I had a huge event happen the year I turned 30 and it took me quite a while to find myself after that drama. It's almost 4 years later and I have learned so much about myself that it's like I am a shiny new person. This is most certainly a time when we learn who we truly are, who we want to be in the world and where we want to leave our mark. I've tried so many new things the last few years trying to figure out what tickles my fancy, what I don't like, what makes me a better a person and what ultimately makes me happy. Don’t be afraid to try new things and don’t be afraid to do things on your own. I’ve adopted the theory that if I can’t make myself happy, then how I can expect to be happy with the people/things in my life.
Don't feel like you are alone, we all go through it. How you find your way back to yourself is what counts. Embrace the journey and start figuring out what gets your blood pumping.
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Thanks so much for your replies. It means so much to know I'm not alone in this journey! I'm trying so hard to find something I really like. So far, I like having a few hours here and there to myself so I can either sit and watch tv (and have a few beers) or just relax. But, I need to find something that makes me happy! I've started to read more, but that's nothing I rush home to do every night. I started running last night, so I'm hoping that catches on. I want to properly learn how to do yoga, so I'm going to sign up for a class. But I still don't have anything that I'm super pumped about doing, you know? The search continues.0
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I kinda on the same boat. I have my hobbies but I am always looking for something new to learn/do. Right now I'm trying to get new healthy habits to carry me through life. After that, it's up in the air.0
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This whole journey has been a huge redefining effort. I have been actively participating in redefining myself for the past 3 years. It takes a lot of self assessment and honesty to know what needs to be redefined and commitment to make changes towards a happier healthier person.
I used to be defined by the number on the scale. Simple enough. I am so much more than a number. It is a work in progress but I know I want to be a good person, healthy role model for me family, and make even a small difference in the world to make it a better place to live. It can be difficult and it is easy to fall off track but each decision you make gets you closer to knowing who and what you want to be.0 -
I think my problem was similar. I would define myself by something. So, I defined myself by my education/career. That's what got me flustered most of the time, because when I did this, I figured I was entitled to a certain job with a certain amount of pay. When that didn't happen, I was angry. I've been able to think of things differently in that aspect, and now I enjoy what I do because I look at it differently.
I've still got a ways to go. Just my appearance, my dress, the way I do my hair and makeup. I've been quite lazy in this department but it's getting better. I want to put forth a better image of myself instead of looking like a slob 90% of the time.0 -
A couple more ideas to get you circulating, give you a reason to dress up/give yourself some attention, just feel more satisfied overall:
I am a huge fan of Groupon/Living Social/Amazon Local deals. I have tried so many new things on Groupon that I would normally not spend the money on and have found some really fun things I enjoy. I did an all-women's boxing class, a pottery class, horse back riding lessons, massages, cooking classes and a whole lot more. It may be worth looking through their deals to see if anything sounds remotely interesting. Who knows, you may find something you enjoy and can start a new hobby.
There is also a nation-wide website called Meetup.com, and it's a way to find groups of people with similar interests where you can join in the fun. Almost all of the groups are free - you pay for the outings if you go somewhere. I belong to a movie group where we get together every few months to have lunch or dinner and then go see a movie together. I am also a memeber of a random group who does the most random things, from concerts in the park, dinner out somewhere, board-game nights, attending community events, etc. I don't have a lot of friends here, most of them are back in California where I used to love, so it gave me a way to meet people and get out of the house. There are single's groups if you're looking to date, weight loss groups, exercise groups, all kinds of groups, and you can even start your own if your area doesn't have one you're interested in. SInce you enjoy reading, have you ever thought about joinging a book club?
Those are my random Friday thoughts :laugh:0 -
Thanks! I just went onto a website called Canada Reads, and found a bunch of books that were recommended by people. I placed some holds on them at the library.
I'm going to check out Groupon for some yoga classes.
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Have you tried volunteering? There are so many worthwhile organizations who need volunteers of all different kinds. I grew up in a family that volunteered, and started at the ripe old age of 4 - I'm so thankful for the experiences! It helped me choose my career field, I've met lifelong friends, developed new interests (there are so many exciting fundraising events of all sorts), and have even travelled to about 28 states in a three-year period (no cost to me!!) as part of an organization.
I've found that people often get a fresh perspective on their own talents, interests and what's going well in their own lives through volunteering. It reminds you that you ALWAYS have something good to offer the world. Sometimes, when you're in a slump, you forget that you're a valuable piece of the pie.0 -
I do volunteer, but recently I haven't been wanting to go. I am CRAVING time alone, to do things I want to do. I know that sounds incredibly selfish, but it's at the stage I'm at in my life right now. I just want to be alone at times. So for now, the volunteering activities I do are going to stay at a minimum for now.0
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It doesn't sound selfish to me! I've fallen into the habit in the past of spending too much time caring for others and not enough taking time to care for myself. You know YOU better than anyone.
Wish you the best!!0
