Hi everyone, my name is Brenda and I have been a binge eater for well over twenty years. I am a mother of four, two boys and two girls. All who have grown up and left the nest. I have re-entered college and am half way through graduate school. I use to go to the gym and had a personal trainer and was fit and trim but i had major foot surgery and four years late I am at 191 pounds and hate myself for allowing myself to get this heavy. (This is my heavyist). I have tried and tried to no avail to curb my eating, promising myself that I would not eat sugar and turn around and buy a box of brownies and have them gone in half an hour or sooner. I have lost weight just to gain it back and then some, then I look in the mirror and berate myself for being so fat. So its a vicous cycle, I feel like a junkie and food is my drug and I hate it. I want to be free and not have food rule my life, I have decided to go back to the gym and hired another personal trainer.

I get mad at him, I beg for his support and for him not to bring junk into the house, but every time he is at the store he gets something bad... he thinks it will make me happy for that moment. Which it does, but then I hate myself and him! I actually find that I can control my binges when he's away for work more than when he's home. I think its because when he's here and I say "lets go get ice cream", I know he will say yes, and him saying yes is him (as my support system) allowing me to have this cheat. I have no one to let me down when he's gone. so I do my hardest to stick with the program.

Hi Cyrstal, you can't put the control for what you eat in someone else hands. When I was really suffering with binges badly (I have them mostly under control now) I would talk to my husband about my goals, about my issues with binge-eating and while he doesn't understand it at all - he is one of those infuriating people that still has easter eggs from last year, when this Easter comes around (how do people do that?!!!) - he is very supportive. He knows that if my trigger foods are in the house I'm in trouble, so I make him stash anything he may want or any treats we may have for our two girls (3 and 6) away where I can't find them. Most of time I am fine, but when a really strong urge comes on and I actually go to search for them it pulls me out of the urgency to really ask myself what am I doing? and why?? If the food was just there, it would already have been eaten. With regards the ice-cream, I think you need to be honest with yourself and your partner, if you are serious about losing weight and controlling your binging, you just can not eat that type of food until you get control over the binging. So tell him, no matter how much I say I want to eat ice-cream or any other food like that that is not consistent with my goals, don't let me do it, remind me that it will trigger a binge and that I will feel terrible afterwards. Its the best support he can give you.

For anyone here I would highly recommend the book Overcoming bulimia nervosa and binge eating by Professor Peter Cooper. It is a fabulous self help book based on cognitive behaviour therapy - I've done CBT with a therapist and that was good too, but having the book really shows you how binge eating can start for people, what it feels like (yes its the same for most of us) and a step by step guide to stopping. I can never praise it enough for the help I've had from it. I won't say I'm cured - I recently had a spate of binges that lasted about 5 days, but I have the tools in place to get myself back on track, to learn from that experience and most importantly binging for me is now rare. That 5 days of binging was triggered by lots of highly stressful and emotional events happening all at once, which isn't usual for many people, coupled with PMS. A recipe for disaster!!

Hope you are all doing ok. There is a Me against the binge challenge this march where we are all logging in to keep accountable if anyone finds that accountability helps. its a very supportive group.

Best wishes
Sarah

Hey Robin! Just wondering what the 30 day detox system is/ what is consists of?

hi... I'm Gemma, I just frantically ripped open my laptop and began the search for help, after I demolished a pint of ben and jerry's and a large bag of candy... I NEED HELP! I sat on the couch with my empty tub of ice cream and felt like ****. I don't know why i keep going back to this destructive behaviour, i never used to be like this, and im probably on the verge of giving myself diabetes... i need to stop this its taking over my life..... whew...and that was only a small binge, usually i do way more damage! this habit is costing me my self respect, my self confidence and an absolute fortune on junk food... but I really am going to try to stop. I know its an emotional thing but i can't identify the feelings that drive me in this direction... i will try though, i need to get to the bottom of this!

Hello everyone! I just joined this group earlier today, and I thought it would be good to tell my story.

My name is Beth, and I am 23. I have been binging since I was a child. Since I could remember, I would sneak food from the kitchen at night, and sneak food from the fridge and hide behind the couch and binge. A sleeve of cookies there, a jar of pickles here. All I wanted was to eat. I was always the chubby kid in school/camp, and even chubby kids would pick on me. I always put too much on my plate, and finished every bite...and wanted more.

I was chubby all throughout school until my senior year of High School. I would hang out with a close group of friends for hours and hours after school. I would have so much fun that I would forget to eat. Eating much less became a habit. I was finally eating healthy portions. Instead of going to and from the kitchen 5 times in an hour to snack, I would go to and from the kitchen 5 times in an hour but not eat anything. Walking in the kitchen was still a habit, but I wasn't as hungry as I once was. I went from 180ish lbs to 145lbs from eating less and walking around town with my friends, at least 2-4 miles a day. Before I knew it, I was the happiest I had ever been with my body. I was at a healthy weight and thought I finally had control and was rid of the binge. Until I went to college, and I became cocky and thought I could eat whatever I wanted. The binge had creeped its way back into my life, and before I knew it, I was 212 lbs. The heaviest I have ever been, and the weight that I still struggle with currently.

Back then when I lost the weight I was 18-19 years old. Its always easier to lose weight when younger, but after 20 it gets difficult. As I mentioned before, I am 23 and it has been really hard to lose weight and even harder to fight the binge. I try and stick to my calorie budget of 1650 cals/day and try to exercise 5-6 days/week. But the binge is always there, whether I am actually eating or just thinking about food, its there.

I have taken many "are you a binge eater?" quizzes and have dramatically passed every single one. Although I have not seen a professional so I have not been diagnosed, I know my eating habits are not healthy and have had this condition since I was a kid. I need to have control over my life again, and get my body back, my confidence and my comfort. I am hoping that I will be able to do that by being on MFP, especially a part of this group.

Feel free to add me : )

I'm Robin- 34 years old. I am a mother to 4 kids: 7, 3, and twin 1yos.
I'm also a military wife, teacher, grad student, writer and runner.
I'm in great shape- just ran my first half-marathon, but I have one little problem that holds me back....
I have been a binger for 14 years and have seen my weight go to 192lbs at my highest.
I lost 40lbs over the past two years thanks to increasing my fitness, but I've been lousy with eating
So, I've turned over a new leaf and made the commitment to get the eating under control once and for all.
I am 35 days binge free today, and going strong. I did it by doing a 30-day detox system. That worked for me so far, but I've seen hundreds of other people fail miserably as the first week on it was hellish. So, I'm not sure if I recommend it for anyone- what works for some, does not work for all.
My father is a recovered alcoholic. He hasn't had a drink in 31 years. I see this addictive eating disorder in the same way. It's totally a one step at a time thing, and I'm starting to really believe now that I can tackle it better when I just set really short-term goals for myself... i.e "I'm not binging this month" than really unrealistic ones.
So, I like this group.
Thanks Megan for starting it. We've got this!

I'd love to hear more about the 30-day detox you did. I'm desperate to get past this binging & would definitely try anything that might help.

In general, I also view the addiction to overeating in the same light as an alcohol or drug addiction. My partner has been a struggling alcoholic for 25 years, & has frequent relapses, so I see his struggle in the same light as my own. To a degree though, I think the overeating addiction we all suffer from is much more difficult to manage because we have to eat SOME in order to live. It's like telling an alcoholic to just have one glass of wine or telling a druggie to just do one line of coke. It's nearly impossible to control yourself when you literally MUST put your addiction into your body daily to stay alive. Once it's in your hands, you taste it, you feel that familiar feeling... it's the hardest thing to say "That's enough. I'm good with just that bit". Most people don't understand that. Thankfully, due to his own struggles, my partner understands what I fight daily, but it's not the same as someone who also overeats in an addictive manner.

I came here looking for supportive, positive people who can understand this plight. Please feel free to add me.

Hello Everyone!

New to MFP as of today! I have been a binge eater all of my life, however the issue has gotten progressively worse through the years and this year it's affected my my weight, my health, my finances, attendance at work, social life, romantic life, relationships with family and friends, and my zest for life. I'm currently going through the intake process at a hospital for the eating disorders program.

I have 49 lbs to lose and have decided to go paleo. The paleo lifestyle makes sense to me and the eliminated foods are all triggers for me, so it looks like it can only be beneficial.

I'd love to have some friends for encouragement and to encourage! None of us are alone in our journey's, so let's share it!

I am a 24 year old male loving in Charlotte, NC. I have struggled as long as I can remember with Binge Eating Disorder, but only recently discovered that my struggle had a name. I have researched extensively and discovered my passion for Nutrition and a need to battle this, before I develop serious health issues.

The main thing I am struggling to find is other males who relate to my issue / accountability within my community. Eating disorder research, support and communities all seem to be female only. I am unable to afford therapy, so I am looking for all resources and community to help. Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

hello my name is Karen. I have been a binge eater for a long time. I have lost 120 pounds and recently began binging again and gained some back. I even reset my ticker such as weight lost since restarting again in March.

I don't have a lot of time to post here but I am very active on my newsfeed if anyone wants to add me as a friend.

Hello. I'm seeking treatment for binge eating disorder, but wanted to look for support on MFP also. I've had some type of eating disorder for years, and I suspect that my diagnosis will actually be Eating Disorder -- Not Otherwise Specified. I've had weight problems my whole life and remember my first diet when I was about 11. I lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers, only to get to a goal weight and start gaining it back within the first week on "maintenance." I've gained 50 of the 80 that I lost. Prior to WW, I'd lost weight thanks to Xendadrine diet pills. Every time I get to a goal, I begin the binge process again. I'm really good at losing weight and not good at maintaining a weight. I also have an OCD diagnosis which factors into every decision that I make and keeps every thought about EVERYTHING cycling forever. I have an intake appoint on May 6 with UPMC COPE (Center for Overcoming Problem Eating) and can't wait to get the help I need.

Hello. My name is Jessica. I am 27 years old. When did it change? What made it change? My brain went from the idea that you eat to live to thinking that I needed to live to eat! I remember the day that I decided to make a change. It was the beginning/middle of 2011 and I was in my bathroom balling my eyes out picking at every imperfection I saw about myself. What got me to this point you ask? Well, a few days prior, I was told by a smaller child that I was so huge and then proceeded to ask if I had eaten another person. I laughed it off at the time but deep down, it hurt. I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t want to change to become healthy. I wanted to change to be sexy and get a man! I know, not the best reason.

So here I was, a twenty-five year old woman who was scared, weak, embarrassed, had multiple health issues, insecure, and lost. In the first week, I think I failed around seven times. My thinking was that if I wasn’t eating, then I wouldn’t gain. That would last about two hours! I had to realize that I was eating for everything. Whether I was happy, sad, angry, depressed, excited, bored, or it was a Tuesday night! I always struggled with eating habits growing up. Even went as far as lying to people telling them I wasn’t hungry because I was embarrassed to eat in front of people. I was afraid of being judged. I would only eat in the privacy of my room late at night or in my car after a drive thru run. A lot of the times, when I did eat, I would make myself sick so I wouldn’t gain. All the lying and secrets caught up to me. And when it did, I made a promise to someone that I would not do that anymore. To this day, I have kept my word. However, there was still so many underlying issues.

When I decided to tell people I wanted to try to lose the weight, I got responses stretching across the board. I heard encouragement and negativity. Some people thought I could do it, and unfortunately some people had no faith in me. I took the negativity to heart. The beginning was really tough for me. I didn’t know how to cook, I didn’t know how to read labels properly, and I think the only exercise I got was walking into work. I started to doubt myself. I didn’t think I could do it. But I had to. I was on the verge of diabetes, had bad knees, had multiple stomach issues, and so much stress from the way I looked and me being upset about it. If I didn’t do something, I was worried that I wouldn’t make it to thirty. So I took it one day at a time. Some of the days were bad. Some days I wouldn’t eat. The majority of the days were good. The weight started dropping off. However, I wasn’t proud of the changes I had made. All I could focus on was my appearance and I thought I looked the same. I had lost 50lbs at this point. I would still look in the mirror and see all my imperfections. Which would then turn into a binge.

I was finally going fairly steady and in July/August of 2011, I was in a relationship after years of not being in one. A few months later, it ended horribly! I sunk back to my old self. I blamed myself and my weight for everything. I would not eat for days and then consume a weeks worth of calories in 20 minutes. Any confidence that I had gained was gone! I was completely broken! I didn’t care about myself at this point and it took every ounce of my being to make it through the day. I felt like all the hard work I had done was for nothing. I was still in the mentality that I was making this change for everyone else. I was still trying to prove a point to everyone.

However, lately, I have REALLY be struggling with over eating and I cannot seem to stop.

Hi everyone

I am so glad this group is still active, and I have been reading everyone's stories. My name is Jan and my story is very similar to many of yours. My highest (known) weight was 222lbs and I have managed to lose around 65lbs. I always had episodes but lately my binge eating has returned to the bad old days, where I am hiding food packages, getting up in the night/early morning to eat, and binging until I feel physically sick. It seems like I have fallen back into that deep dark pit again where I feel I am never going to get out.

But I found this group, and I am hoping this will be a place where we can support each other, share and understand without prejudice. My main problem is that I eat to punish myself and to run away from my emotions. My focus is going to be on emotion regulation and mindful eating.

Good luck everyone xx

Hi I am Danielle

My story is not dramatically different from many of the introductions. I am an emotional over eater. I really want to free myself from this dysfunctional relationship who some call ED. I am now in the 300's, borderline diabetic and hypertensive. My intention is to work to plan and prepare healthy choice meals, journal, therapy and reading.

Looking forward to cheering us all on!

Hi everybody. I'm a 31 year old stay-at-home mom who has struggled with overeating/binge eating since I was a small child. I have always been an overeater, but I started binging during my first pregnancy 6 years ago. I got up to 235+, and then lost down to 180 and stayed there for a few years. Since last Christmas I have started bingeing again, and I am ready to stop! The big factor in my eating is the sexual abuse I went through during my childhood. I started working through my memories with a therapist this last year, and I have been able to heal a lot....but I am going back to the overeating, which I loathe. I come from a long line of binge eaters, and being around them during Christmas seemed to trigger me as well. I am so happy to have found a group that deals with this disorder. A lot of people don't take overeating seriously. I liken it to someone who drinks a beer a week vs a six-pack every night-binge-eating is not just overeating. Thank you for all the support, and feel free to friend me or send me a message. I really need the support!

I'm 26 and I've binged my way to pretty bad heartburn, acid reflux and haemorrhoids.
I'm 10 lbs away from being obese and feel old before my time.
Just by drinking more water, I lost 5 lbs.
Looking forward to losing the other 50!