I was always more scared to have an epidural than give birth without! The idea of a needle in my spine scares me. Also, with epidurals I've heard you can't feel to push so are more likely to tear.

I've had 3 children and each time used a tens machine and had gas and air. I had my third baby last week and used the birthing pool for a while first. She was back to back so it was more painful, but it is doable! I had her on a midwife-lead unit so the only pain relief options were gas and air and pethidine. With my first baby I arrived at hospital 10cm dilated so had a bit of gas and air for pushing.

I didn't need stitches with any of them either. Being able to feel to push and control it must help.

Obviously every labour is different though, and I can understand how if you have a really long labour you might want an epidural. My labours have been (from start to finish) 7 hours, 4 hours 21 mins (induced) and around 10 hours.

I've done both - I had an epidural with my first and did not have one with my second. I wanted one with the second but he came too fast - they did not have time to do one!
Labor with my daughter was almost 12 hours and I kept getting stuck. I would not have wanted to do that one without an epidural. With my son, the contractions were very, very painful but like I said, I had no choice. The thing is, labor doesn't last forever so you know it will end and it isn't that terrible. But I'm not going to lie, giving birth without an epidural is painful! When I read about women in labor for a day or two, I can't imagine doing that without an epidural.
The major difference between them was that I felt much, much better after the birth without the epidural. I got up and walked to the bathroom on my own only like a half an hour after he was born. With my daughter I didn't have feeling in my legs for hours and I could not walk to the bathroom or whatever. I also had much more energy after the no-epidural birth.
I can tell you that with an epidural you CAN feel to push. You feel the pressure from the baby's head but you don't have pain at all. I tore slightly with both babies. I might've torn a little more with the first than the second.
If I had to do it all over again, I would've wanted to have one with my daughter and not have one with my son (which is what happened, although not by choice). If I knew my labor would be short, I would definitely not want one. If I knew it would be long, I would definitely want one though! Since no one has any way of knowing, my best advice is see how you are feeling at the time. They offer it to you when you're about 4 cm so you can make the final choice then.

I have only had one so far but I was all about all the meds possible. I live in the USA and they don't do gas here. Or birthing pools. I wish they did. I did just switch hospitals so I could birth how I want. The last hospital made you birth on your back. No ifs ands or buts. My new one will let you do any stance and they will be there to catch. They just don't have water birth capabilities. I wish they did...

Anyway this time around I'm trying for no drugs. First of all the pain meds they give you to start with are lame. They do nothing to help. By the time I got to the hospital I had been in labor for 24 hours and I was ready for a break. It offered none. The epidural was amazing! The guy that did mine made it painless and simple. I have had no side effects at all. I have nothing bad to say about that one.

I will say that if you plan to breast feed the drugs do pass to the baby. They are a bit groggy and it makes it harder to get started. We nursed for 13 months so it didn't stop us but it just gave us another hurdle. With 2 bouts of mastitis we didn't need more hurdles.

I'm trying to stay drug free for this one. Try is the key word. Labor has a way of doing what it wants and plans are easly thrown aside. Just make sure to tell your doctor what you want every time you go in. They write it on your chart and keep all the nurses informed. Have a birth plan on paper to bring with you. If they know what you want it's easier to help you.

I was all about a fully "natural" pregnancy the first time--didn't expose myself to strange chemicals (nail polishes, hair colors, etc.), ate super healthy, exercised, and was determined to have a drug free birth. My husband and I took a bunch of birthing classes too. About 2 weeks before I went on maternity leave, we had a new receptionist at work--she was also a trained doula. She told me the most surprising thing--she told me--if you need to take the pain meds, just take them! You will be able to enjoy your labor more and there is no "shame" in it. (this from a doula, I know!)
So, I went into labor on a Monday and labored at home using yoga and breathing and all that stuff--and finally got to the hospital on Tuesday and dealt with the pain until about 7 centimeters and which point a took the epidural. At the hospital I went to, the patient has the ability to control the amount of medicine given--so if it hurts a lot--press the button and they will give more (to a certain point). While I had the minimal dose of medicine going into me, I didn't press the button and so I felt quite a bit and was able to push when the time came.
My baby was born on a Wednesday and I have to admit, taking the epidural was a good choice for me.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences--reading your stories is really helpful. My preference would be to go without an epi, but of course, I am afraid of having one of those crazy long painful births. I am going to start the discussion about a birth plan with my doctor tomorrow, so all of your suggestions are very helpful.

Bear in mind that births do not always go to plan though. I haven't written a plan for any of mine, although actually I've been lucky to have the births I wanted.

I live in England, and I think we have a different way of doing things here. Babies are delivered by midwives. The only doctor you see (unless you have difficulties) is the paediatrician who checks your baby after birth. C-sections are for emergencies usually, although you can have one if your baby is breech or you've had a previous emcs.

You can deliver in a birthing pool, although most maternity units will only have one. I delivered my daughter at a midwifery unit, so t wasn't too busy, so I got to use the pool. I didn't give birth in it though as things weren't progressing fast enough, so I got out. It really helped with the pain though. I must've been around 7cm when I got gas and air too, and maybe 8/9cm when I got out.

It is painful giving birth with just a bit of gas and air, but it's temporary pain. As soon as the baby is out, the pain ends. And then you're drug free and can move about. I had a bath in the birthing pool after with my baby, it was lovely.

I had a TERRIBLE epi experience with my first! They couldn't get the needle in correctly for some reason, so it was literally 30 minutes of them jamming this huge needle into my spine all while I was contracting and my blood pressure spiking high. Finally they decided to give up on the epi and they gave me fentanyl instead, but that made me itchy as hell so that was all I could think about was how itchy I was. Then fentanyl doesn't last long, and they can't do it again because of the risk of spinal headaches so by the time labor got really intense it had totally worn off anyway.

So I decided to go drug-free the next time around. And it was wonderful, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had a water birth that still makes me smile to think about. Then my 3rd child was born natural and drug-free as well (although he was born so quickly that I wouldn't have had time for drugs anyway).

I am planning on yet another drug-free labor this time around.

I'm currently TTC my first, and I've done my research on epidurals, and it TERRIFIES me, but so does the pain of going natural. Thanks for all the input... it's helpful for me as well since I'm trying to decide. The idea of the needle in my back, as well as a catheter freak me out more than the pain of a natural birth, even though I have a fairly low pain tolerance.

I think I'm going to PLAN on a natural birth, but like many people say, plans can change depending on how it goes. I want to be able to walk around as much as possible, and be free to go to the bathroom, etc, which I can't do with an epidural. I also want to be able to move around shortly afterwards. It might be worth the temporary pain to feel better once the baby is out.

Also, my sister in law has had chronic back pain for years since her first baby, and she's just beginning to wonder if it was caused by the epidural she had because they couldn't get it right... it took them a while. She also said it's in the same area of her back. That scares me more... having long term pain in order to get out of temporary pain.

I know it works amazing for some women, but then there's always that risk of complications and slowing down labor. I'd be worrying too much.

Though I would have preferred to go all natural, both of my previous births were inductions. With my first, I was 41 weeks and induced for pregnancy related hypertension. I was fine with the pitocen contractions (for 12 hours), but once they broke my water, the contractions were SO intense and never let up. I was forced to lay on my side, too, b/c of my blood pressure. After 4 hours, (and no progress...I was stuck at 4cm), I got an epi and I'm so glad i did! I was pushing 3 1/2 hrs later! 20 minutes of pushing, I could feel to push very easily, and she was right out! I think the epi let my body relax enough to fully dilate. I was clenched so tightly before, fighting every contraction. I didn't understand how contractions work, etc

I ended up being induced with my second as well, against my will. (my bp was fine, but they were saying I had pre-e anyway b/c of my history and one slightly higher reading). I did the pitocin again and magnesium (which slows down ctx...pretty stupid!) confined to bed with catheters and iv's for 24 hours...stalled at 5cm. When they told me they were going to break my water, I asked for an epi ahead of time bc I didn't want to go through what I did the last itime, since I'd been confined to a bed for the past 24 hours and knew I wouldn't be able to move and had no doula or anything. (Another big mistake!) The epi seemed different than the once I had the first time. I felt like I couldn't breathe and it only kind of numbed one side of my body. As much as I didn't like it, I'm glad I got it b/c I could still feel everything, so I know it would have been ten times more painful without. Within 3 hours of breaking my water, I was pushing and again, it took a little less than a half hour to get her out. I could still feel to push. I was up within a short time and using the bathroom afterwards, too.

This time, I'm having a home birth. If I was having a hospital induction with lots of interventions, I'm sure I would get an epi again. But since I should be able to progress on my own and move to labor, I think I should be able to manage the pain just fine! There is no shame in getting an epi if you need one! Its great if you don't need one, too.

my labors were to fast for epidurals but i got an intrathical with all 3, and never again, they ****ed up the last one, and I felt everything then had a spinal migrain for 3 days then it caused an aweful vertigo attack that lasted a week, not risking it this time

I haven't gone without one because both of my daughters were induced with Pitocin and Pitocin contractions HURT intolerably......But I must say that epidurals were not pleasant for me. I shook uncontrollably, vomited, and kept needing medicine to prevent me from passing out because my blood pressure was so low. I guess it was the medicine they put in the epidural and weird reaction to it, IDK. Also, my back hurt for months after around the epidural site. Other women have had spinal fluid leak out into their bodies and cause massive headaches that last for days.

If I need Pitocin again with this baby though, I's still pick an epidural with all the side effects over the Pitocin contraction pain.

I just go with the flow and play it by ear....I have pretty long labors, 20 hours, 13 hours, and 19 hours so far with my 4th baby due in 10 days. My second one I had no pain meds with at all because I was able to handle it. Once it reaches 12 or 13 hours I get pretty exhausted and need the epi so I can nap and rest, gotta have the energy to push them out when it's time. I put no pressure on myself to decide anything at all beforehand.

From the people I've talked to here in New Zealand, many don't go for the idea of an epidural. They aren't anti but I guess there are options of water birth, gas etc. and the epi isn't encouraged. I wanted a water birth but due to my induction I was stuck in bed and sucked on the gas for 7 hours. For the one person I know who actually had an epidural, it didn't work. Plus you cant get it too early because it slows things down, or too late it kind of defeats the point. Personally, unless I was in excruciating pain and so exhausted from days of labour I wouldn't do an epi. Although the idea of a needle in my spine freaks me out, as well as a caesarean...eek! In my opinon, and its not to criticise others who choose, but to me I would feel like getting an epi is sort of cheating the whole birth experience like I hadn't tried it on my own or even felt what it was like. I wanted to know what I was capable of and being numb from the waist down would mentally and physically disconnected me from the experience. Yes I happy took the gas but I was very much aware of what was going on in my body.

I've had a 48 hour labour, breech baby and total of five deliveries. I've never had an epidural or pethidine, just entonox and a TENS machine. I was open to the idea of a mobile epidural, but only if absolutely necessary and if I couldn't cope without it. I had heard the scary stories and decided to try and do without. Labour is a state of mind - once you realise that the pain is temporary, there IS a point and an end to it and that women manage to cope with labour everyday without pain relief it's easier to deal with. (Though it does help to have a high threshold for pain, lol).

My only advice is to research everything so that you know and understand all your options and outline what you would prefer in your birthplan, but know that you need to be flexible and open to whatever is necessary to get to your goal - a healthy mother and baby. The journey is not as important as the end result in this case.