Sorry you're having a rough time, Dee!
We're always broke too, but a friend is teaching me how to coupon, and that's helping. I'm saving a bunch on toothpaste, deodorant, laundry detergent--that kind of thing. If anyone is interested, I can write up a basic b quick guide. I don't save much on food because I'm usually only shopping the perimeter.

Something to discuss with your therapist is an antidepressant if you aren't already on one, atb least temporarily. Especially with past abuse and trauma, that food reward pathway is a huge producer of the feel-good hormone dopamine. Several weeks after you start restricting high fat/high carb foods, you're going to start feeling ****ty and depressed. Your body has to get used to life with less dopamine. Sometimes I trick myself by giving myself a sugar day for the little dopamine high but eventually I have to come back down, and it sucks. I'm trying a low dose Celexa right now that's helping wit b the transition and chronic pain without making me dopey. Hope that helps, Dee!

Well this evening didn't go quite according to plan. At the last moment a clients project got delivered and i was in a rush to find a car and get to Costco on time to pick up the canvas print and drop it off so i missed my walking time. On the way home, given how late it was, I decided to stop by the grocery store and pickup something for dinner. I'm happy that i was able to fight off the temptations and that fewer of them came to mind as I pulled into the shopping center. I still had to fight them in the store but at least their i have more healthier options. I did of course wanter, picking things up and looking at the calories. I even had a bad of chocolate cookie chips in my basket (5 for 150cal) when i realized the "cookie chips" were small and that annoyed me so i put them back. I had a chocolate eye apparently since everything I was looking at was chocolate so i decided to nip it in the bud and make a better choice and grabbed a chocolate milk instead. Bought a nice sandwich roll (not whole grain but delicious) and some nice deli meat and have a quick sandwich at home. In the end my calories were fine, macros ok, and i was satisfied that i fought off the temptations and made better choices. Still wish I could have walked but thats for another day.

Sorry I haven't been around much the last few. I've been reading everything but haven't really posted. I've been in a real funk the last few days. Working on pulling myself out of it now before it turns into real depression. I usually get this way towards the end of the month. We only get paid once a month. It's hard enough making the money last a month but these 5 week months are killer. Trying to keep the bill collectors happy, make the food stretch, etc. makes me want to roll up into a ball and hide in the closet. And of course, since I'm so good at eating my emotions I'm searching the kitchen for something to eat which just makes me realize how bare the cabinets are. Therefore, the funk. I spent most of yesterday, planted in front of the tv doing absolutely nothing. Today was a little better though. I had therapy with my new therapist and that went well. When I was done with therapy, I decided to walk the mile and a half to the metrolink station instead of hopping on the bus. After dinner, I'm going to talk my son into going with me for a walk.

((Hugs)) My hubby and I both work for the State so we only get paid once a month too and it bites the big one. You'd think we'd be able to budget and tuck some away for the end of the month, but nope.. never happens. Money has to be one of THE biggest downers in life. The bills piling up definitely causes pure gut wrench and a IDGAF attitude. What can you do when you can't do anything? Sounds like you did a good thing and got moving. I always look for free stuff to do around town to keep the kiddo happy. Thank goodness the pool is now open. Chin up.. Month is almost over. Try not to worry. My husband and I always tell each other when it gets bad..it's been worse.