475 lbs and terrified

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"The reason that you are a fat ugly slob is that you keep stuffing your fat ugly face with carbohydrates! Cut ALL Sugars and Starches out of your diet, and you will start to lose body fat, on a daily basis. Just drink water. No cheat days, not ever.

You made yourself what you are. So, clearly you don't give a **** about yourself. That's a perfect reason for no one else to give a **** about you either. If you don't want to make yourself better, then no one else can do it for you. " - Anonymous Craigslist poster in a health forum

I've been down this road more than once. I seem to always get started and then watch as things fall apart and as I fail to live up to my own expectations. I am thankful that my health isn't worse. Bloodwork wise, I am completely fine. Musculoskeletally however is a different story. I'm falling apart. My feet don't work the way they should. I have severely collapsed feet to the point where doctors have told me I have to lose the weight so they can go in and reconstruct my feet surgically.

I battle with depression as well. These are not excuses for why I am where I am, but a harsh reality of what I am up against: myself. It's time to win the war and lose the weight I need to lose.

So I guess I am here, 32 years old, 475 lbs, gay, and pretty much unhappy but optimistic, to ask for help, just like I was on that Craigslist forum. This is monumental. I cannot do this by myself. Losing 280 lbs is going to be a helacious roller coaster. I am terrified of failing and of doing poorly but I'm even more scared of becoming bed ridden.

So you can add me as a friend if you like. You can text me if you want - but please be respectful (319) 855-9654. You can add me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thjudd

And most of all, thanks. I appreciate it.

Replies

  • truddy6647
    truddy6647 Posts: 519 Member
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    losing weight is a hard road belive me i understand......there r many out there who r very rude too that dont understand what it is like to be 200+ lbs over weight.....they think they have the right answer truth is what works for one may not work for another and deits dont work......lifestyle change is what is needed......i am 35 and have struggled all my life with weight loss right now in order to exercise i take rx pain killers it has helped a lot
  • dawnnamira
    dawnnamira Posts: 11 Member
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    It is hard. I know.

    You have to ignore the people who are being stupid. No one knows what it's like unless they've been there - and hell, even some of the people that have been there are horrible.

    You don't have to cut anything out of your diet, because this is about making a new life for yourself. You're going to want ice cream some days, or french bread, or whatever else sounds good. That's not a bad thing. The key is definitely moderation! And you can learn that. Believe me. I'm kind of stalled on my journey, but what I've learned last year while I was losing weight has helped make sure that I'm still doing better than I was.

    Depression makes losing weight even harder. It's hard to motivate yourself to do anything when you don't feel like even getting out of bed, I know, and injuries make it harder. But you CAN lose weight by just making small changes in your diet.

    Don't be scared on your journey! It seems hard and impossible but just take it slow. We didn't get to this point in a day, or even a year, and we might not get better quickly, but if we keep trying we WILL be better. I've sent you a FR :)
  • schaaf95
    schaaf95 Posts: 10 Member
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    I have heard it said the skinny people do not know the struggle that an overweight person goes through, it is a physical and emotional fight day in and day out. The difference between a person who was skinny their whole life and someone who was overweight and lost it, is the once overweight person is stronger, mentally and physically. I had the same struggle, and unfortunately due to an injury, I am having to face the journey again. I can tell you, the second time is harder because I am more discouraged at myself because of what happened. Keep the fight and do not give up!
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
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    It IS hard....but it is doable. It's going to require mental and physical strength but you CAN do it. Some people go the surgical route. I didn't. Some people cut all carbs or all sugars or all sodas or all..XYZ. I didn't. Find what works for YOU and stick to it. You don't need to change everything overnight. Did you gain all the weight overnight? Nope. Small, sustainable changes will make a huge difference.

    I understand the depression. Bluntly put you don't get to be the size I was (less than 100 lbs from where you are) without some underlying issues. Just remember, depression lies. Every pound you lose, heck, every ounce you lose will take a little more pressure off of your body.

    So, let's start---What small change can you handle TODAY?
    What goal can you set for this week?
    What goal can you set for this month? I'm not talking about pounds to lose, but behaviors to modify. Pick one, do it, stick to it.

    MFP works. Log your food and exercise. Even when you have a bad day. You are worth the time and effort.

    One last thought---setting smaller goals makes the whole thing less daunting, IMHO. If I had started off saying "OMG Brookie you have to lose over 200 lbs!" I'd have given up and there's NO WAY I'd have believed that I'd get this close to that number...but you really can.
  • lolakun
    lolakun Posts: 2 Member
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    Is anyone here still fighting the fight?

    Something I heard or read recently said to start with a healthy breakfast. That's 33% of your meals. Once we get a handle on that, do a healthy dinner–that's a total of 66% of your meals. Once we're comfortable doing both of those, make lunch a healthy meal and that's 100% of your meals. When they put it that way, it sounded slightly less daunting.

    I found a new primary care doctor and today I asked for help. We set a goal, I'm going to see her in 3 months to check-in. In the meantime, she's referred me to a dietician. I'm hoping to rework my budget and get back to my gym. Maybe I'll get super lucky and find enough $$ to see my personal trainer again. That was working until health and budget issues sidelined me.